Understanding Engineers: Which Mindset do you Most Agree With?

...and I thought it was just me.

This isn't really a joke, but when I get behind some idiot that's texting or talking on the phone, while on the road, I fantasize about having a missile launcher attached to the top of my van, and completely eliminating them from the equation.

Is that wrong?

That's better than staring at "the breasts of one of your wife's, brother's, neighbors".

OK, you left yourself open for that one.

I tailgated an undercover cop in an unmarked car through the streets of my fair city. Problem was, she was on her way to meet me. She was nice, but let me know that I was way too close.

Blowing people up, is better than looking at untethered boobs?

...and you follow undercover cops that are on their way to meet YOU!

Somebody left themselves open...you sick bastard.

What did she look like?

She was really HOT. Big one's too.

Something about a badge and a gun will make you keep your eyes above chest level, trust me.

I didn't know she was a cop when I was following her.

I used to live next door to a really hot police officer, in south Georgia. On the weekends, she would trade in the uniform for a bikini, and wash the police car in her driveway.

I looked like Lenny from Laverne and Shirley....biting the palm of my hand.

Ooops...went off topic.

I regret not talking to her, because I always wanted to know how handcuffs worked.

Yes, it's wrong. You put them out of our misery instead of redirecting the misery to them. I have always wanted a method of remotely starting slow leaks in at least two of their tires. Finding you have one flat tire is a mere inconvenience. Finding you have more than one flat tire gives you a legitimate reason to use that phone.

After that item is delivered and installed in my car, I would like something which detects and disables bright headlights in oncoming vehicles. If I dip my lights to signal the other driver to lower their beams and their lights do not dim, I want the device to activate and dim their lights for me. May be a hard projectile or some kind of opaque or translucent substance.

If interested, please submit Proposals for evaluation.

Yes, too extreme. A simple electronic pulse phaser that would shut down the electrical system on their vehicle, forcing them to pull off the road would be sufficient.

I always wanted a laser to burn IDIOT DRIVER into their paint job.

But I also like the 2 flat tire suggestion by reward54

With a good {warped} sense of humor, any of the 8 choices could apply. My mindset seems to have always been; how to build it simply and at minimal cost. This sometimes takes more manhours to accomplish, so a compromise is usually made between the two. At work that is true, but now that I am retired and doing my own thing, manhours expended doesn't enter into the equation.

GA Ron.

When bean counters and man hours are removed from the equation, cool stuff starts happening; after that, money.

For a president to point to an artificially strong stock market as a sign of success, I would say that he's a bald faced liar that deserves to be in prison.

I guess I should break down and join the OT club.

personally i think there are 2 kind of people

programmers and

the people that havn't programed anything
((the last) including web programmers -- 're the people that F around with data to get you pissed -- it's not programming -- but a digital art or something very surrealistic)

129CBRider-

Where's the punch line?

Good Luck, Old Salt

They're not jokes, they're truisims.

129CBrider-

Yea, Yea, Yea. I know they are truisims but some are so clever that they are humorous. Sometimes "The truth hurts", especially for those "Engineering Heads". (similar to a motor-head but a different subject). Many engineers and those in similar fields forget that there is a life beyond engineering and all things don't have to be solved in a strictly technical engineering manner.

Through my career, and my life outside of my career, I learned and always tried to follow "my personal guidelines":

1) you must be able to make fun of yourself even if it hurts.

2) There are people out there who don't know you personally but love you anyway

3) Live today to its fullest, there may be no tomorrow.

4) Its tough to remember your goal is to drain the swamp when you are up to your ass in alligators.

5) Common Sense is much more important than book sense

6) Its difficult to fly with the eagles when your with a bunch of turkeys.

Now that I am retired, I still like engineering, but as an avocation and not a vocation.

So- Many of your truisms are still applicable to me!

Good Luck, Old Salt