How to Dispose of Bloated Whales

I would tow it out to sea, attach a timed charge to it, and haul ass!! ...but be sure to film it from a safe distance for U-tube...

Tow it out to sea and sink it. Pretty simple really unless someone has a safer and cheaper option that would work in the real world.

That recommendation, in at least one of the cited cases, is asked and answered:

But Butler, who told the Western Star she originally considered asking local fishermen to tow the carcass out to sea, said her town doesn't have the money or expertise to do so.

"I'm not willing to take on the responsibility," she is quoted as saying. "If that whale does explode, we don't know what danger that would be to our infrastructure, the longliner (fishing boat) itself, or to people."

And she said if the whale were towed out to sea, it could be considered a hazard to navigation by federal authorities."

Transporter beam! Oops, I'm in the wrong century. Sorry

Send 'em to Walmart. They'll fit right in.

A few kg of RDX would do it.

That's been tried and failed miserably. Rotting flesh was scattered all over the place.

Tow it to deep waters.

Are you sure it is possible to tow a stranded rotten mammal (whales are no fishes) into the sea? It have the feeling it would probably get dismembered ....

Think less tow rope and more tow net to distribute the towing force and keep the carcase in one big piece.

I have just read the article on CNN and the fear of an "explosion" sounds a bit silly to me, as the decay rate of the tissues of the entire body is probably more or less the same, being faster in the areas exposed to seawater or in the interface between water and air / sunlight. Therefore I would expect these weaker zones to allow gases to start leaking sooner or later.

Secure them with nets, wait 'til high tide and then tow them out to sea with one or more boats working together.

It's Newfoundland, for Pete's sake. They've no fishing trawlers there? This has never happened before? Anywhere? Surely this problem has been solved more than once!

Not enough whales.

That's awful!!! I don't care if the whale is dead - that's still animal cruelty.

True, true

[hangs head in shame]

OK, we'll borrow a line from Shakespeare, "first, we'll kill all the politicians".

Maybe that won't offend the ASPCW.

Fill 'em up with politicians

And lawyers.

Don't know how you would tell the difference between one gas-filled rotten mammal and the other, but an excellent option!!

Joe: it's easy, just look at the scales on the eyes of the politicians, and the truth will be revealed. They are not mammals, or warm-blooded, but rather cold, calculating reptilians, seeking prey.

Too late! It already got cut open with lovely decorations for the surroundings.

Not sure why they could not turn it to the sea and shoot a bullet in the middle!

They took it away for preservation for further use as tourist attraction!

That's an old video. Note caption states "Residents in Newfoundland, Canada hope this doesn't happen to three dead whales that have washed ashore."

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8Vmnq5dBF7Y

That was brilliant piece of journalism. The comentator's script was priceless. Thanks for sharing that find.

Feed them to minks at a mink farm. They keep eating away the surface meat, exposing (relatively) unspoiled meat beneath. (There is, or at least was, one such place near Roy, WA, USA as recently as 1990).

When was the last time you took rotting blue whales from Newfoundland to a mink farm in Washington state?

"Whatcha got under that tarp there, fella?"

"Three blue whales."

"Oh, just drop 'em over there, next to the shed. What do I owe ya?"

I wonder if a thin wire attached to the ball hitch of two trucks could be dragged through the carcass like a big piece of cheese? If if can be sliced up into smaller chunks I imagine those chunks could be netted and towed away by much smaller boat and such.

Maybe a bucket brigade to help with the leftover slop.

Perhaps they need to dedicate a weekend festival to the clean up effort.

I would not recommend slicing open a rotting carcass of any size, let alone any whale. If it happens during disposal then endure the odor. Once far enough from shore, I suspect some slicing would be needed to release the gasses so it will sink.

Call me, Ishmael.

Jonah: "Wait a minute. This looks like Newfoundland! You told me to go to Nineveh!"

God: "You shoulda done what I said."

Quid pro quo - Where is netmaker ? I bet he could give a good guess on the net needed.

Check new post, Ol' Buddy!

Warning: Graphic Content:

Sperm whale exploding - Imgur

Wasn't that something....

These whales must have one hell of a sphincter to keep that in.

Hey, I just figured out how you could "safely" tap it for the gas.....

See? RDX!

Can´t it be sold as a biological weapon to be dropped from an aircraft?

Instant stop war! Lift that bad boy up, and haul to Syria, or other likely places of unrest. All hostility will have to cease, as they will be buzy hurling over the roof lines. Hurling is an autocatalytic activity, so once it starts, it is self-sustaining, and can go on for days, without UN shipping in large boatloads of Pepto-bismol. Gosh, I hope whales don't smell like pork.

Yeah, but the one shown in the video is already more 'water balloon/soap bubble' than body. How could you get that into a hole and covered up before the balloon bursts? It looks like the only reason it hasn't burst already is because the water is supporting the bottom with even pressure (which waterbeds are known to do).

It doesn't have to me moved far. The hole can be dug right next to it and bulldozed into it. I've seen it done a few times. The fresher ones can be dragged.

They don't really burst with a ton of force...the membranes outgas a little and it will most likely deflate naturally. I helped a couple of dolphins outgas in my face. It smells horrible and tastes even worse.

Sea turtles are the worst..their flesh just gets all black and soupy. Spill some of that on your boots...eww.

My brother just scooped up a Stellar Sea Lion this weekend with a front loader. Two others are pretty gooey, but he'll get the hardest chunks of them into a hole.

Somebody'll want this skeleton, for sure:

Install a fitting and hook it up to the gas mains?

Good idea, wrong gases. Also, the gas mains is likely to be at a higher pressure than the whale carcass, so your solution may simply 'expand' the problem, both in size and complexity, ("No smoking by the dead whale balloon, it's highly inflammable, which for you Americans means that it's highly flammable.")

See the recent HDPE pond membrane thread.

Call in the U.S. Marines.

"When it absolutely positively must be destroyed overnight."

IMHO you choose the wrong tool on multiple fronts. The U.S. Marines would only care if it is dead. These whales are dead. Moving an inanimate object for burial inland or at sea will take the Army Corps of Engineers or the Navy Sea Bees. Let's not forget, Newfoundland is in Canada. When asked, our military will likely help but we must wait for the request.

Call in the Army.

If it moves, salute it; if it doesn't move, pick it up; and if you can't pick it up, paint it.

So what good will painting the whale carcass do?

I'm former US Army, and the unspoken rule among the grunts is "When in doubt, and the Sergeant isn't around to see, do the absolute minimum work, up to and including nothing."

You ask the Army to 'remove the whale carcass' and they'll treat it like a UED (Unexploded Explosive Device) based on it's potential to rupture and release a 'biological warfare agent' (Rotting, bacteria-laden whale guts). By which I mean they will call in the EOD (Explosive Ordinance Disposal) who will clear the area and then 'dispose' of the carcass with the SOP of DIP (Standard Operating Procedure of Detonate In Place), which is the exact opposite of what the town wants, leaving the residents SOL (I'm not expanding that one).

You only call the US Army in when it absolutely, positively has to be broken beyond repair.

*Of course* you cannot call in the U.S. Marines on Canadian soil without their leave, any more than you can fill those whales with politicians, tow them out to sea and sink them, or hook those whales to gas mains or any other number of tongue-in-cheek suggestions proposed on this thread.

In theory.

In practice? Well, you and several others *did* take my proposal seriously - as if it were well within the realm of possibility. Why, do you suppose?

Umm...

This is in Newfoundland. You just might not realize how practical they might consider some of those suggestions (and this is not meant in a derogatory way)....... Trust me, if they really decide to do something no Marines will be needed. And we just had an election announced in Ontario....

No marines needed? Not even to protect the politicians?

I wish people wouldn't be so hard on politicians and lawyers. They're an important source of protein.

Baiting lobster traps and so forth.

GA. That is one seriously big hoisting grip!

Here's a smaller one....

300 mm Ultra Cross Dyneema knotless netting in a 5mm twine size with a 25mm x12 strand Amsteel bridle and towline. 100 tons easily handled. * Towing arrangement , not lifting...that requires a different bridle set up.

What's their problem....get to work! ha ha !

Just needs doing is all.

Hah! See there, I knew you would come up with a practical solution.

incinerate

The cavalry have arrived!

These guys are in Canada right? They should have some net makers right there locally. This is NOT a major design project . The worse part is getting the net around the critter....especially where it is located which is right against that rip rap.

Still, they should have some locals that can put something together.

Post #9. Newfoundland and environs has a thriving fishing industry, yes?

Surely this has happened before? How did they solve it?

Well, we had a blue whale wash up in PEI when I was stationed there. They cut off the flukes to study them at the university, without realizing that now they could not attach anything to it to tow it. So they dug a whopping great hole in the beach to bury it, and let it decompose. After a few years, they went back and discovered a VERY smelly biological site to excavate and skeletonize. I hear half the students changed their major that day. You can see it (the skeleton) in the big museum in Ottawa. They finally decided that it did not die from natural causes, but from a propeller which broke its spine.

There was just not enough power in the trawlers to yank the thing out of its washed up bed. Even at high tide. Believe me, they tried! If it wasn't the prop wash, it was the weather. I found the exercise to be quite amusing since for ME the biggest problem was scrubbing the flies off the Tracker airplanes because my pilots just could NOT stay away from the biggest animal on earth.

Well, you asked....

Generally, the smaller whales die in out of the way places, to become food for polar bears if they are north enough, sharks if they are south enough or museum curators if they are just right.

.... ha ha, the net makers might be smart enough NOT to want to get that close to rotting whale. Do you know what that putrid blubber smells like?

The immediate problem is that it is in an area that the mess and smell will be causing problems.

Towing it away at high tide and depositing it far from human habitation to rot down.

Having made a net or some cradle to tow it, leave the net on the whale so that it can be held where it is deposited.

Good Luck.

Just curious, but how do you get the net underneath a beached blue whale?

Roll roll roll your whale gently down the stream

Merrily merrily merrily life is but a dream.

Yeah, roll it with a couple of Komatsu 575s!

If its washing around at the break water, like in the video the OP showed, you have to maneuver it as best you can underneath the critter. The one I was involved with was smaller and in sand. They just rolled it.

This one is floating so a little nudging with a boat and catching the right wave, you can probably secure it...there ain't no text book on this kind of operation... ha ha !

They should've just put 'em on Craigslist.

Biggest problem with moving the LAST blue whale I saw washed up was that the trawlers just did not have the power to drag the blessed thing off its spot. Situations may be different in this case, however, if a couple of fishing boats "could" have done it, they "would" have done it. Winches are superior, (if you can anchor them on the glassy rocks) its how they get the blue whale into the whaler. As you pointed out, there is no technical manual for a job like this.

I understand they figured out something.

Now, to the kitchen, make some nice cajun spice for all that sushi.....

The Atlantic City chapter of ΤΕΦ might be able to assist.

Pick it up with a crane, drop it in one of these giant shredders, and can it up for crab traps and chum.....

Make a video recording, with plenty of closeups, and sell the footage to some Hollywood studio that makes horror films.....

Two killer whales offshore watching the carnage:

"Man, he had a lotta guts!"

eBay (other internet auction sites are available)?

With the clause 'Buyer assumes all responsibility for shipment.'

Get people to pay to haul it off, then hit them with the fines and clean-up fees if they burst their whale balloon on the beach? Brilliant!

Wait, what if the buyer thinks it looks good where it is and doesn't WANT to move it?

They already tried that (starting at 99 cents). Apparently it hit over $2,000 before they got a call from the federal government that it's illegal to sell marine mammals or something like that.....

Not every idea can be a winner. How does that saying go, 'If every pork chop were perfect, we wouldn't have hot dogs' or something like that.

Then they can be stung for demurrage ....

Has anybody seen or read any news as to how the whale disposal is actually going?

Fun post....but I think the real sequel has the potential to be funnier.

http://www.ottawacitizen.com/technology/Royal+Ontario+Museum+begins+arduous+task+recovering+blue/9816275/story.html

From the article:

"The first phase of a multi-year project is underway as a team from a Toronto museum began the laborious process of removing, stripping and preserving the carcasses of two blue whales that have been rotting off Newfoundland's west coast.

A crew from the Royal Ontario Museum has assembled in the community of Trout River to move a whale corpse from the shores of the small town near Gros Morne National Park.

In a few days, they will go to the nearby town of Rocky Harbour to recover another of the multi-tonne mammals.

Both carcasses are expected to then be transferred to nearby Woody Point, where the team will begin trying to find a silver lining in one of nature's tragedies."