Hi Spark,

Great answer! I appreciate your patience!!

Pretty amazing stuff.

Sparky, I honestly think DAG did a better translation than yours, but I also rated yours "good" based on the answers and the obvious patience you applied in forming them. FWIW, "by a Mich" totally escaped me, too!

In the teaching field, you learn to decode some really, really strange stuff This was nothing compared to the slang and text message code that comes up in lab reports!

Sigh...I'm sure you're right - but all we can do is try not to let it bather us...

Boring? Au contraire, m'sieur, actually most engineers are loonier than Cooter's goat... Just not all of 'em realize it!

<Damn, that last code word was from the Del-ER codebook>

That was my point - if pre-arranged codes are used, it's like a one-time pad. Impossible to crack without the key. Even the best DDSAs can't do much about that, but they still look for the plain fools that use plain language. They'll not catch any real pros that way, but if there are copycats about they'll have 'em up.

Who said anything about taking a bath? I thought the tub went to the scrap yard anyway... And why in the ever-lovin' WORLD would you think I want to scald MY bottom? I need by bottom scalding mich for use on oters.

My bad (code).

Leave those poor otters alone - they're a protected species! But, of course, they're water 'otters, so you've got your by bottom scolding mich....

"mich" ... Ring of Bright Water? Haven't checked, but seems to ring (doh!) a bell.

<EDIT - just checked - the otter was Mitch>

Well, here y'GO, then!

Otters? Now if you'd said "Badgers", I'd have had a comeback line. But otters? Oh, you must mean OTHERS!

The following translation is from post #3 by DAG:

"I need to by Mich to refinish the dial on the watches jewelry"

The guest needs to buy a machine to refinish watch faces?...Maybe polish scratches out of the crystal?

"if you find any one get back me please anther wise do not bather me at all ."

So, I need to by Mich to scald bottoms on oters. If you find any one please get back to me or do not bather me at all.

So far, all I've got is this.

©EM-ER Productions NA

Who said DAG's translation was correct? And you really shouldn't have mentioned badgers. Never mind, you'll learn!

_{©EM-ER Productions Ltd}

Farmers to launch mass badger cull - now I know why!

Badgers? We don't need no steenking badgers!

(With apologies to Jorge Martinez de Hoyos)

I practically had to plead for it, but thanks for the set-up!

©EM-ER Productions NA

We've never seen pictures of the tub, if it ever existed. Could be a clever deception with "tub" being the code word. Where is Kris from. I think I noticed an accent. A wily, sneaky skwirrel. And now he has morphed. I think I am on to something...

If I post a picture now everyone will loose interest. I need to keep the one-time pad going.

One-time pad, eh? And you tried to get us to believe the "tub" was in your house. Now it comes out it was in a hotel room all along, eh?!? We'll just keep an eye on you, then...

Enjoy !

"Where is Kris from"

Well, "he" (now I'm getting gender paranoiac) claims to be from Great Britain - England - place called "Etherville" - hmmm. As in "ethernet", I suppose. Maybe his garden is plagued by ether bunnies. Ether that or something else. Which doesn't explain the squirrel very well, does it? Well, now. Perhaps you've cracked the code... Perhaps the "tub" was full of something that made it necessary to dispose of. I'm thinking something like...this...?

Us Albanians have to hide somewhere. I keep hearing that US Government is a crock of ****. Should I relocate?

HAH! Albino skwirrels, eh?

I think our government is fine. It's the recent administrators of it that constitute the crock. I have to keep asking myself: WWTRD?

Baden Powell would have loved to take him camping !

Doubtlessly so - as would I!

Do you ever intend to 'splain that batman-clone avatar?

I did do so somewhere - look up 'Spring heeled jack'. This confession is compelling me to morph again very soon. Newcomers will find so many post baffling ! I haven't heard your explanation yet - are you Bear Grylls or somebody like that ?

"...I haven't heard your explanation yet - are you Bear Grylls or somebody like that ?"

In a word: HUH?!?

My explanation of...what? Are WHO "Bear Grylls" (who/whatever that is)? And who/what is "somebody like that" presuming that refers to Bear Grylls? (As in what could be "like"...)

Nearest I know to an answer is a short story from some 40 years ago in the form of a series of graffiti: In one hand and ink color - "I like grils"

In another hand/ink - "You mean girls"

In the first hand/ink - "Yeah, I like girls"

In yet a third hand/ink: "What about us grils?"

But I don't see the relationship any more than I understand the question. It WAS a question, wasn't it?

Rhetorical questions are so annoying aren't they ?

Rhetorical questions? Annoying? Perhaps, but not to me, I ask them all the time, don't I?

I see you've morphed yet again, and apparently for more than the third time, from some innuendo I saw in another thread. Guess I just got used to the nut magnet you used when I first arrived.

But I digress - my avatar is not to do with your M. Grylls, and only loosely represents my true persona. I've not cavorted like that for some years, as gravity is less forgiving than I. Whilst looking through the library of prepared avatars, I spotted that one, it called to mind my signature line, a truism I have long favored, and that's why I selected it. I suppose both are subject to change, however, I just hadn't considered that. Keep in mind, please, I've not been around all that long. But enough of this

I don't want to be a

or seem like a real

after all. But I think you see by now why animals are appreciated - I'm a biologist, fer cryin' out loud!

I'd like to know if the guy made the leap safely ! My Squirrelly pic has been in use for some time, but I like the devilish theme as well. When I revert to the squirrel it will probably be a different picture. Too many changes leave thread post looking baffling. I can't explain my current one else I have to change, then I'd have to explain again.....

I'll continue going around in circles. Years ago I was at a party where I didn't know many people I decided to kid all that I had an interesting job. Amazingly all believed I was a Weapons Officer on a Submarine. I picked that one because I thought nobody would be able to ask me questions that would result in me demonstrating lack of knowledge. It worked a charm, but I did make up an awful lot of bull. This was in my younger years when we all considered it fair play to BS the girls to get a date. 'Commander Smith' collected a fair number of phone-numbers. The sneaky bit was being able to say I had to go on a patrol for a few months after our date. Downside was having to furtively creep around town trying to remember who I'd told what !

Ah, what a tangled web we weave,

when once we practice to decieve.

See here 'Commander Smith', we had you pegged as an albino Albanian transvestite spy just yesterday, and now here you are admitting to undersea espionage?!? This is going in your permanent record, young man!

Oh, and if you think those girls weren't BS'g you right back, guess again!

There is an essential presumption that is wrong. We have ways....

Ja, und you vill enchoy it! Ve haff vays uf making SURE you vill enchoy it...

These would chafe less;

You say that as if it were a GOOD thing, though...

That must be why you appear to be running so fast !

Ahhh...sticks and stones may break my bones, but whips and chains excite me, eh? Hmmm...sounds kinky, but fun!

LOL ! It's the parachute on the back that puzzle me - it just won't have time to deploy. You'd need a bigger crack to pull it off. Some of the 'Bond' movies have cool starts where he goes over the edge.

My guess is that it's just a backpack. This was a stock image in the CR4 avatar gallery, but I think I've seen it elsewhere. I may customize one in the near future and morph myself...

We seem to have morphed into the 'avatar' thread. CR4 just cracks me up .

Fair enuff. I'm only convinced because

1. If it CAN be done, and there's someone who WANTS to do it, it'll happen.

2. If the gov't says "no way", I'm eternally skeptical, but if the gov't says "way", well, why would they lie about THAT?

3. "The others" in this case have proven themselves to be techno-savvy, overly and overtly dedicated, and have a history of working behind the scenes.

Would I prefer proof? Sure. Do I have to be shot to recognize the sound of gunfire? Nope.

On reflection:

I'm now convinced that it very probably happens. I still, however, object to statements that something-or-other is or is not a fact when no concrete evidence can be given.

Regards, John.

Concur - but you can't (effectively) prove a negative. While I can't definitively prove the positive case, if it doesn't happen, they've missed a darn good opportunity. And the "others" don't typically DO that...

Oddly enough, this makes nearly as much sense as the original post... I'm not afraid, I'm VERY afraid...

Yes, I know the one about the panda. A panda goes into a restaurant, orders a salad, and has lunch. When he finishes, he pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, then walks out. The police stop him and ask why he did that. He replies, "I'm a panda - look it up." So they look up 'panda' in the dictionary, and find: Panda (n) raccoon-like animal native to eastern Asia. Eats shoots and leaves. Do you know the one about the Trids?

I just knew you would like that book. Hasnt she got a follow up ?

(ps - ''''''''''''''''. I keep spares for emergencies. My lack of punctuation may be a cunning code).The quick brown Fox jumps over the Lazy Dog - I felt compelled to say that. 0101000. No it's not a binary keyword, I just owe the bank loads of money !

This, which I was given for Christmas last year

and this, which we need to get Del for his birthday (so we've got 11.5 months to save up for it!)

I'm getting an urge to buy that second book - the title is just so funny ! The problem with Del is that we don't know how many lives he's had yet. It could be expensive if he has 9 Birthdays. This was a fun read.

Where'd you put the

then? (That's 17, plus 2 more for triple letter, for 19, and double word makes it 38!) And what's that futuristic batman avatar that took the place of the nut magnet? I was going to offer some corn on the cob...

Do you all get the show "countdown" ? It' a bit of a Brit addiction. The basic concept is that two contestants have to see who can make the longest word from a random selection of letters. They have some classic ones they couldn'y show, but one of my fave's was when neither contestant ralised they could have said " Tabards" as an answer. What happened was that the second cotestant had to say " I'm a ******* as well " There is some truly bad stuff on You Tube that they could never screen. I woudn't even repeat it here, it's that bad.

Haven't seen it - but then I tend to shy away from that sort of programming. We do have drivel like Deal or No Deal, Wheel of Fortune, Jeopardy, Who Wants to be a Gazillionaire, etc. I ignore them except when not in my own castle...

Countdown? Drivel? How dare you, Sir!?

It's in a different class. Call My Bluff, QI, Have I Got News For You, I'm Sorry- I Haven't A Clue (BBC radio 4) - (sorry about the stuff I forgot to mention). This stuff cannot be compared with the trash you cited.

I have spoke.

...and spoke well ! 90 % of the stuff on telly I'd sooner pull me eyes out than watch, but there is some classic stuff to be found. I've not enjoyed Countdown so much since Whitely died, but it's still good. Keeps the grey matter working.

You mis-read my post...I said we DO have drivel like...the examples I mentioned. I said not a word about Countdown, other than that I'd not seen it (I don't think we even GET it). I try not to be THAT judgemental. And here's how I dare...I'm just a daredevil...

OK, you can consider yourself forgiven. Your sin lay in your fragment "... that sort of programming".

But then I guess a (or the) (dare)devil probably doesn't fret too much about the odd sin or two.

BTW - if you go to http://www.bbc.co.uk you can find loads of good stuff (to watch bits of or listen to). Unfortunately, it looks like you can only watch clips of the TV stuff, but you can certainly listen to plenty of radio programmes (my preference is Radio 4).

Hello Kris,

If you have the time to while away, take a further look here:

http://www.yugop.com/

Kind Regards....

Cool !

Both good links - in fact, I bookmarked the "clock". But what about the nut magnet...uhh...squirrel?

....It got stuck in the honey trap.

Ooops! Bit of a sticky situation, eh? Watch out for these...

...oh, they're just crawling all over the place.

Oh, sure, go and give away the punch line, why don't ya! Well, I won't DO that, I'll be polite enough to wait until you have a chance to tell the one about the Trids. The folks here will like that one, won't they?!? Hee hee hee...

Hey, I looked it-up.

Really funny...,

And I won't give it up!

I'll let people take their turn.

I didn't know you could Google that - but the version I got wasn't the same one that I (ahem) invented. Yes, that story actually originated with yours truly about 40 years ago. Among others, which I will also try Googling to see 1) if they've made it to the 'Net, and 2) if they've been twisted any. And altho' somewhat changed, it IS still funny, isn't it?

I have another one; it's sort of like a joke though...

A mouse hops aboard a boat to Miami from Cuba, when they arrive, he scurries and is confronted by a cat. The mouse hides in a hole growing ever more scared at the increasing meows of the cat. Suddenly he hears a loud Woof! The mouse comes out of hiding and is surprised it is the cat again..He asks "I thought you were a cat? The cat replies..." Here in Miami you need to be Bi-lingual to survive..."

ROFLMAO!!! All of my colleagues who have spent time in Miami are too...

Yes, Nestlé's Quik was not for rabbits. Sorry you never got the Trix, but truth be told, you didn't miss much. Here's something to make up for the loss...

©EM-ER Productions NA

I haven't seen NesQuick for ages ! The Banana flavour was ace. Much more fun to mix it yourself than buy those ready-made ones.

Could be - check it out - if you find any one get back me please anther wise do not bather me at all.

(Ain't that a classic line!) ...he said, snickering and smirking as he pushed the "submit" key...

OMG! The Russians are coming! The Russians are coming! Man the barricades!

Well, just because you're paranoid doesn't mean nobody's out to get you...