Black hole in wifes wardrobe?

Now there's a coincidence! I have noticed the bed is getting closer and closer to the ceiling! I think I maybe approaching the critical mass!

So that's the answer to the clothing problem. There must be a parallel universe which is made up of women's clothing called Vogue or something (financed by Kalvin Cline, Prada, et al).

My wife insists that its the washing machine that eats the socks (so there must be a black hole there also) but I have defeated that monster by buying only black socks.

I used to have the same problem, Steve but now I buy socks by the dozen. That way, when one goes missing or a hole appears in one, there are lots more which match. Eventually, when the collection gets down to three or four, it is time to buy another dozen...but be sure they are all identical.

Yeh! I do the same thing and it works for me.

Hi Steve,

The socks problem must follow a universal law not discovered yet (it could be included with the known list of math challenges not solved)

The only solution I've found is to use just one model and color (black) of socks. Nobody would note if both you wear come from the same original pair.

Kind regards

Amazing how engineers all come to the same solution for that problem.....

If socks were constructed so they looked the same inside as out, we could buy just one reversible sock at a time. The KrisDel^TM Engineeri-sock (packs of 3, and individual socks available) would be admirably suited to incorporating the CR4 logo (vertically), and we would happily give CR4 a discount on our extortionate modest franchising fees.

Thanks, but then I have been married for 38 years so noticing new new clothes on 3 occasions during all that time must restore my credibility!!

It is the privilege of woman to change whenever they want. It is also not advisable to complain about it. If they are not already there they will retaliate when they reach the undesired age.

The cupboard of my wife however keep growing (most of my clothes has been moved to the spare room) she don't get rid of anything that I know of.

Maybe it is a black hole because it is very dense and light (or anything else) cant escape.

Then there is the universal phrase "I don't have anything to wear"

But what would we do without them? (Trading her in for 3 x 20 year olds would be nice)

(Trading her in for 3 x 20 year olds would be nice)

But then you would need three times the wardrobe (and wallet) space!

Every engineer knows that clothing performs only two functions:

1. It provides insulation against the wind and cold
2. It provides a level of decency commensurate with everyday expectations.

So why any individual needs a plethora of it is a great mystery.

So Engineers don't care about looking "cute"?

Cute!!??!! I stopped being cute when I lost my freckles!

They can't.... according to my wife

Nope.

Cute? Later with cute. My 'other' is drop dead gorgeous and after many years still manages to turn my head....oh, and, to me, it doesn't matter what she's wearing. Truth is she does appreciate my input concerning her appearance and I like giving it. We often go shopping for each other.

Mind you, she wasn't very impressed with the hip waders I bought her to go fly fishing in. She prefers to lounge.

yep, I feel the same about my better half too. Not too good at the shopping together bit TBH. She will often trail me towards a rack of stuff with "oooh that's nice" only for me having chosen the one next to it! I long , long ago stopped buying her clothes, atleast I used to keep the receipts so she could reurn it for something she likes.

When we do shop together I ease the urge of losing the will to live with trying to think up better ways of designs for the racking, ceiling supports, or anything mechanical - not easy in a woman's clothes shop, but that way I do stay awake! Its the trying to look interested that really tests me.

If I manage to be going by a tool shop on the way to a clothes shop.....well, what can I say......the magnetism from the tool shop gets the better of me.

So why any individual needs a plethora of it is a great mystery.

Well, of course I shall ask my wife this very question!

Thats if I want to be enveloped in a cold cut the atmosphere with a knife staring, thin lipped, get your own dinner response.

Ask your own wife and share the reply. Dare you!

GA!

GA, but I had not noticed any lack of self esteem! Maybe I should take her out more (but not shopping)

I am not going to try to figure that out. I have 3 pair of shoes, my wife as 33 pair of shoes. I have one for yard work, one for work and one for dressy dinners. What more do I need, and why does she need 33 pair???

More over, I have 5 feet of closet space, she has 15 feet and that is not enough, she spills over into the guest closet...

but I don't ever notice what she's wearing... god forbid if she ever turned up missing it would go like this:

Officer: "So can you describe what she was wearing?"

Me: "Of course I can, she was wearing clothes."

Officer: "Can you tell me what color the clothes are?"

Me: "Not exactly."

Officer:"Can you tell me roughly what color they might have been?"

Me:"Not exactly."

Officer:"Can you tell me anything about what she was wearing when you last saw her?"

Me:"Not exactly."

I think I'd miss her cooking the most....

...she will be found in the Vogue galaxy for sure!

You may not be surprised to know that your replay is not unique.

It would be interesting to get a response from a wife / partner / girlfriend, they have been suspiciously quiet so far!

Probably too busy ironing and cooking the dinners.

It would be interesting to get a response from a wife / partner / girlfriend, they have been suspiciously quiet so far!

Ok, I am going to put it out there - the whole time I've been reading the replies I was planning a shopping trip with my friends. In true female tradition, we're hitting up all the labor day sales!

Shopping, at least for me, is fun and can be therapeutic sometimes (go ahead, roll your eyes). If I want to spend time with girlfriends or just get out of the house, shopping is a nice outlet (if I have the money, of course). The way I see it is that a lot of people spend money on silly things - so why not buy something that I can wear and feel good about myself?

Guys may not notice things like clothes, purses, and shoes - but other women do! Let's face it, women are generally more judgemental about these types of things. Saying that women shop for self-esteem is pretty accurate, I think. A lot of media messages these days promote the "if you look good, you feel good" mentality and it works - we're raised to be consumers!

I don't get too upset if my boyfriend doesn't notice new clothes or hairstyle, but I also don't notice when new software programs and electronics appear at his place.

Guys may not notice things like clothes, purses, and shoes - but other women do!......

Spot on. Most women can name a brand of clothing at 1000 paces, and spend hours deciding what to where when out with their girlfriends. Nothing wrong with that, it's similar to the way in which a guy who's lost will never ask for directions. Being seen as out of fashion is nearly as bad for a gal as a guy admitting he doesn't know something ! Harmless foibles of gender.

Sharkles, perhaps you can explain this phenomenon to us. I've been married 28 years, and know my wife for about 30. One thing that boggles my mind is during all that time her purses keep getting smaller and smaller, but there's more and more stuff packed in them. I keep expecting the purse to reach critical mass, but, alas, thus far it has not.

Please help me understand.

Bluezone

I would love to be able to help here, but I am a purse-addict myself! I have a range of purse-sizes that have all passed "the test". As a woman, there are certain things that I must have on me at all times: wallet, ID holder (similar to wallet, but makes it easier to find my ID at bars), my cellphone, camera, glasses, and ipod. There are also things that are useful but not necessary, like aspirin or a book.

Since I can't speak on behalf of all women, I will say that smaller purses are nice because they are easier to carry and do essentially limit the amount of things that go in there. Its contradictory, because we want to have all of our "stuff" - but we don't want the burden of carrying it in big bags. I'm curious to know if your wives are able to stick with a small purse? Despite my many attempts to organize one to effectively carry my things, I always end up using my larger purse - despite owning multiple small purses.

Purses are a fun and easy way to make a statement, change an outfit, or carry different types of things. Multiple purses can be necessary because you can't use a black purse with brown shoes/accessories, and visa versa. Matching accessories are key!

I wish I could explain their allure further, but I have tried many times to explain it to my boyfriend without much success. I hope this was helpful in some capacity though.

Yes, thank you Sharkles.

One further problem I have, however, is that even though my wife packs her purse to what should be critical mass, she often, especially when she's driving, has me go and find something in it! Frankly, the whole experience scares me!

-Bluezone

Article in the WSJ the other day about renting designer handbags. You are not alone.

milo

Sharkles-

My wife actually carries multiple purses, each fitting inside the next larger one. She has a small one to take to the super when buying only a couple of items, which fits inside her work purse, which carries a whole new face in bottles, pens, and who knows what else, which fits inside her "shopping" purse, because she might want to go shopping after work, which fits inside her "traveling" purse, which carries not one, but multiple books, because she never knows what mood she will be in when it comes time to read.

As for clothes, I prefer going with her when she buys clothes. A few chosen phrases, like, "I don't know, I think it maybe makes your behind look a little large..." seems the best control over the budget. Careful though- any overuse of a particular phrase can decrease one's credibility...

There is no Black Hole in the female wardrobe. Space is expanding. Which means a given space can hold more over time. Now, socks, that's a different thing....

I only wish we had one of these black holes. I'm currently in the process of turning the attic space over our 2 1/2 car garage (which happens to be just next to the master bedroom) into a "California Closet". Which I can only understand as an unbelievable monstrosity that more closely resembles an average sized bedroom, only filled with countless bars, shelves, cabinets and cubbies so that it will no doubt make any woman who looks at it instantly become moist.

My wife assures me that this will be the ultimate selling point for any woman when we eventually get to selling our house.

OK this can have a silver lining. You build the California Closet, your way. On one wall a lovely vanity with lots of stupid little drawers, lots of counter space, and a set of mirrors that make things just a little smaller. the rest of the "closet" is covered with a pair of electric tracks, One for hanging cloths, and one for shoes.

Now here is the clever part. Make those tracks weave all over the place. In the corner there is a break in the track. If anything stops over that spot, it falls through a trap door into the "tool storage" area of the garage. Once a week you collect the items that have disappeared, take them to the second hand store, collect whatever you can and go the sears tool section.

And here is the beautiful part. In time she will notice things have disappeared. Look her right in the eye and tell her, "Yea I know, I've been loosing socks for years. Did you think I was making those stories up?" Good luck.

Bob, you have an evil streak a mile wide.... but that is one hell of a good idea.... only I would probably go to guitar center with the proceeds...

You don't need a wife and/or girlfriend to have a black hole or spatial anomalies in your domicile. I've been a bachelor for the past 17 years, and I can substantially attest to strange space/time distortions, or, perhaps, even paranormal activities.

It's the tools. I think my tools have something going on like in Toy Story. They must play whilst I'm away. Then when I return, they just fall where they are. I think the screwdriver has something going on with the channel-locks, I always find them hiding somewhere, entwined.

Absolutely right. I have both black holes and worm holes. I will be working on a project and set a tool down. When I reach for it again, it is gone. It may never show up again, which means it fell into a black hole. Or it may show up in some unusual place, like a sock drawer in my son's bedroom, which means it fell into a worm hole. An unusual worm hole is in my bedroom. Clothing items suddenly appear from nowhere. Amazingly, most are in my wife's size. I'm concerned that the mass of clothing may reach a critical mass and implode, either creating a super-massive black hole, or violently creating the next big bang, wiping out the universe.

I have seen theories in the past that womens handbags are similar in construction to Dr Who's Phonebooth / office, i.e. using some multi-dimensional trick to compress space....

Ha! I was also thinking of Mary Poppins

You know that the tardis is nothing more than a woman's ourse in disquise

According to my dictionary the word 'purse' can be traced back as 'purse'< OE 'purs'< LL 'bursa'< Gr to 'hide'. It's amazing how much stuff they can hide in one !

I must be on the other side of the black hole because I don't see any bags but more and more clothing keeps appearing in my wifes closet. It's gotten so bad that there is only room for one of my suits.

Please try to stop this black hole on your side since I have no idea where these things are coming from. If I knew, I'd plug my side.

There are two holes.

One is black and the other is white. That which is swallowed by the black hole never re-appears in this dimension. The white hole, on the other hand is the official husband kill zone and those things that do miraculously appear usually take the form of my wife wearing them. After twenty eight years it all had better look good on her or else the gravy gets lumpy.....burnt toast.....silent treatment.........and worst of all......."I think I'll ask my mother to come spend the summer".

In this respect Retreat is the better part of valour...........gentlemen!

Ouch, not her mother!! I had my wife's mother move in for a full three years... talk about a gravity well.... sucked the life right out of everything...

I feel your pain brother!

3 years, gasp!....Lumpy gravity man......lumpy gravity......the worst kind.....

I am not alone.......2 years with a convenient heart condition.

My mother-in-law is a mobile black hole herself... When she visits us my tools, my cup of coffee, my favorite t-shirt can disappear in secunds...

It is said that good wife is one who can spend as much as husband can earn and good husband is one who earns more than his wife can spend. Seems you are good husband and your wife is not up to the mark

It is my job to bring in the money, and my wife's job to spend it. I can't help it if she is better at her job than I am at mine.

You silly man, check the closet more closely and you will find it is really an elevator to her secret undergrond clothes lair!

Holly panty Batman!

Sorry to disagree...

I don't believe in black holes (at least this type). Thinking in a more technical way I must assume the incompressibility of solids and therefore consider the constant volume. What is really not constant is the content!!!

Or... where do you think (at my home) my socks (sometimes the left one, sometimes the right one, sometimes both), my shirts, trousers.... go?

Every week I found as you, more things in my wife wardrobe but less in mine. The mass balance must be complied with as in the following chemistry reaction:

(2 sock pairs+1 shirt+1 trouser)male + (1 pants+ 1 skirt+ 1 suit)female →

(1/2 sock pair+ 1 shirt+ 0 trouser)male + (2 pants+ 1 top+1 shorts + 2 suits)female

It's a women secret conspiracy!!!

My wife buys clothes, hides them and then can say in all honesty that it's not something new when she eventually starts to wear it! Must be something women learn from their secret society.

You've really got a problem when you find male clothing in the wardrobe that isn't yours!

My wife buys clothes, hides them.........

I am aware of this condition but perhaps Sparkles could explain why women do this? (Guilt?).

I do remember a shopping trip with another couple where both wives bought several "tops" each, but I have never seen my wife wearing any of them. I can only presume it is the spending aspect that is a comforter to them.

Personally, I make one annual shopping trip during the salestime to top up any worn out items, but do occasionally buy other items when I am on holiday, but always those with reduced tag. I now try to ecourage my wife to buy during the sales, but I suspect that her purchases are not always from the reduced racks.....so I suspect that I have answered my own question then!

You've really got a problem when you find male clothing in the wardrobe that isn't yours!

I would presume that if they are your size and new then your wife has bought them for you, but if they are neither of those..........

Given it a GA because anything coming from someone from the Vogue solar system gives us an insight into the female psyche.

BTW sorry, I got your sign. in wrong........or is it?

I'm honored to be the Vogue solar system representative. I will think of you all this weekend while I am hitting up the sales.

No worries with the sign-in name. I have been called "Sharkles Sparkles" before. I kind of like it actually

Are you trailing... er taking a boy-friend? If so be gentle with him. His enthusiasm has only a imited life span (2 minutes if your lucky). Suggest you humour him by the occasional trip into a DIY / hardware store.....and then see how long you last before you start to yawn!

But have a good time anyway!

"Also, some clothes tools look really good on the rack, or even when they're tried on in the store, but look completely different when they arrive home. It's easy to give into the "I want it - gotta have it" mentality sometimes, which is why I personally try to limit the number of times a year I want to overhaul my wardrobe tool box."

You know what really bothers me. When those mens cloths that are not yours get wrapped up and given to you as gifts, and you know they are used.

You've really got a problem when you find male clothing in the wardrobe that isn't yours!

Maybe there is some cultural misunderstanding. Here in Spain is quite normal to use the same wardrobe for husband and wife. That's my case even it's well sized, it has 6 sliding doors and my wife use (he should) the left side and I use the right one. As already said, the volume is constant, but it seems the left side grows at the same rate the right one become smaller.

I've proposed to install a physical barrier in the middle but I don't know why it's the only home fixing work she disagree.

I have had to abandon sharing my wife's wardrobe. Mostly its the undergarments she refuses to allow me to wear.

Desperanda tibi salva concordia socru (give up all hope of peace as long as your mother-in-law is alive)

These words are two thousand years old!

My mother in law washed my Bridgeport milling machine.

.......my mother in law LIVES with us...my wife is more put out than I am (fussed over by two women!!)

Lucky clot!

After 3 months my wife started to climb the wall. Two years later we eventually had to buy the MIL a small house. The kitchen here wasn't big enough for two women.

On a positive note I did manage to spend more time at work and in my shop!

After 3 months my wife started to climb the wall.

The MIL (and FIL) have lived with us for >20 years. They have their own living and sleeping accomodation, which they clean themselves (I presume?). We all share the one kitchen. They have a strict routine as regards use of the kitchen i.e. set times, so there is no real conflict.

But they are both well into their eighties....

You sir, are blessed....and most gracious I should add.

I know when the time comes we will take care of her when she is no longer able to....and that time is soon.

Not the milling machine!! Is there nothing sacred? Did she at least oil it afterward or did it go to rust?

Did not oil.....it was because of the oil she decided to wash it with soap and water...you know all those nice nickel shiny parts?....all buggered!.....nice coat of rust on table and knee. I had to re-black the vernier scales cos the readout sensors got buggered!

This was my precision machine. Backlash of .010". Bronze brakes! Lap flat table.

I can only thank GOD that she left the Schaublein lathe alone.

When I was first married, I was able to get my hands on a big 23" TV. It had some picture problems, but I took all the tubes (remember them) out of the set, took them with me when I went to my second job with the intent of testing them and replacing any that were bad. Time was at a premium that day and I never got to test and buy the tubes. When I returned home that night, I found out that my MIL had straightened up the apartment. She had a hard time getting that TV set to go up against the wall. But in the end she got it nice and close. What ever that was sticking out from the back could not have been too important. (She broke off the back of the picture tube)

It's more like your wife being the black hole!

Make sure she is getting receipts for what she donates to legitimize the tax write-off. My wife probably donated $20,000 worth before I caught on.

What burns me is she gets mad when I spend money on toys or projects. She burns 10 fold on junk that goes unseen.

Credit cards are the big bang theory of womens clothing. They materialize, womens clothing, then get sucked in to the black hole you've mentioned in your bedroom along with your money.

Look for new galaxy's of clothing out there and now black holes.

Back to your original question/interest ! Life(style) Threatening? Absolutely !! Was married for a quarter of a century, and one day while playing golf with a friend who owned a local dry cleaner, He asked a question?

What does your wife do with all the plastic clearner bags she picks up at my store?

Turns out, all the times I inquired when she came home, " Bought something new?" Answer always the same-- "Oh No, I just got this back from the cleaners". Best damned slight of hand I've seen.

If the amount of money your wife spends on clothes is enough? It can be life threatening. Worst part is-- When that works well-- Watch what comes next!!!

I think that I may have a unique problem, as long as she has enough clothes to cover the naked parts and suitable for the weather she is happy. She will buy cosmetics so that she can show off her fancy cosmetic case but she never uses them.Her only weakness is tops with funny sayings on them, she will even buy them for me. She is still looking for the ultimate functional purse. I have to get people to to take her clothes shopping. I will give my sister a list and a budget and that is the only way new clothes will appear in our closet. I have know her for 43+ years and been married for 40 unless the 20 years that her mother lived with us counted double.

Mother-in-law would buy clothes for the wife, kids, and even myself. She started doing that before we were even married.

I am normal in that I have the disappearing sock problem.

You've identified a common mystery that we've all noted, however; despite all the speculation and anecdotal observation, there still exists a dearth of hard data. I suggest that men everywhere undertake a broad program of vigourous, clandestine observation of the female specimens in their private habitats. The observation must be clandestine so that the subjects will not be influenced by the observeration. That way, we could identify when they first display something that they have not previously been seen wearing. More interestingly, however, we could also observe the transition from wearing something previously noted to being draped in something not previously noted. I, for one, am especiallly interested in that transitional phase where they are typically wearing nothing that we've seen or not seen before. With the unique capabilities of the internet, the observations could be shared so that any theories could be subjected to peer review and comment. We could develop a rating scheme so that the more notable specimens could be indicated, sparing others the tedium of redundantly perusing anything but the most exquisitely interesting behaviors. Or, categorizing those noted behaviors so that they could be preferred by anyone pursuing research in any number of behavioral sub-topics. What? You mean there already are such mechanisms in place? For a modest monthly fee automatically charged to a credit card... Ah, what a time to be an empiricist!

We are talking black holes here, which automatically brings about relativistic conundrums. Just the act of observing effects the observation. I suggest enlisting Jorrie's advice before undertaking such a program. I suspect that just the fact of observing, no matter how clandestine, will negate the results.

Imagine their surprise.

All the missing junk returning October 21, 2008, Here!

That was a GA, but it needs to be cross posted in the boson thread!

Today is the 32th anniversary of our wedding day. How time goes by...

I was thinking in a present, and decided to free give her some more cubic feet of "my" volume.

Kind regards

Your wife is not a pack-rat be blessed

Hey guys maybe this forum is strictly reserved to husbands and I couldn't take part to this...anyway just to spend some words in favour of our poor wifes: "Have you never thought that the eat-socks monsters could really exist? they started with socks and maybe one day they will like your wonderful ties or your lucky shirt". Pay attention, your wife could read this forum and then?...REVENGE!!!........I am jocking but I really cannot explain what really happens to the socks, maybe the black hole theory could be the right one!!!

Hi Rosy

..maybe this forum is strictly reserved to husbands and I couldn't take part to this...

...on the contrary, the question was aimed very much to the wives as it is you that have promted the question. Sharkles has already helped to enlighten us and we have had numerous (humorous) replies. Someone came up with the Tardis concept and I think that this may be definitive answer. But in the end I believe that ONLY a wife can offer the complete explanation as it appears to evade most of the male respondees.

I have already stated my own way of dealing with the sock monster, which is to buy only black socks, and do I sense just a little sarcasm in the "wonderful ties and lucky shirt" remark. I just cannot imagine where you got these ideas from!

Having repaired a few dryers in my time, I can confirm that allot of socks end up inside the dryer where the motor is. They slip past the cloth seal in the back corner of the drum and end up inside.

Usually the bottom cover/kick panel will come off for easy access - retrieval. Make sure the dryer is unplugged prior to access for electrical safety reasons.

I have never had a dryer till few days ago...Here in Sicily dryers are not much sold because of the good weather in the main part of the year but I loved them at first sight since the first time I went in US, that's why I let it to come into my home... oh my God I bought a real eat-socks monster... it will have dinner with my husbands' socks!!!

Be an optimist! Now you have another excuse to go shopping

Just remember the missing socks are not your husbands fault.... couldn't be.

Also start buying him only black socks and no one will ever be the wiser...

Unfortunatelly he buys his socks personally and he knows all of them by name...I would love to have only black socks also because sometimes blue and black are not perfectly matched!!!