Lost Keys? No Problem!

(I'm only posting this on condition that you view my crossbow vid₎

_{could be YOUR motivation - but points to the problem *I* have - never lose keys, always lose car.}

I thought it was supposed to be women who lose cars in car parks. I had a bf who was amazed when, on coming out of a supermarket, he asked me where the car was and I, in a slightly surprised manner, described where it was straight away. I was offended that he thought I couldn't find it.

Do you two get to the top of stairs and forget why you went up?

I can't get out of the room remembering what I was leaving for

Worst case I ever had "losing the car" Denver International Airport, don't remember where I went, but the return involved heavy luggage.

Tossed it on the shoulder like a seabag and started walking, and walking, and walking

Turns out DIA has entirely symetrical parking garages on either side - identical in every respect.

Fortunately they monitor the security cams and come retrieve you if you start going in circles

To solve this problem of loosing car, I use my GPS and mark the position of the car always.

Yeah that kind of sexist attitude is really out of order. My pet-peeve is supermarket queues ; That scenario when the idiot in front stands watching the checkout person put there goods thru then, when it's all done, and only then, begins fumbling around for the credit card. There's usually an agonising wait whilst they faff about trying to get the right one, then try to get the right pin number. They also wait until after all of that before putting the bags in the trolley, leaving everybody else in the queue fuming . I've learned how to avoid it now - it's the customers with handbags.

Yeah, they cant shove their bags to the end of the chute or to one side while they reorganise their entire purse.

Had a classic t'other day... she had a whole load of shopping, but insisted on putting a 35p bottle of water through the checkout separately and waiting for the reciept, 'cos it was for work or her Mum..or whatever...35p... jeez...I'd have paid her more than that to stop arseing about.

Jeez, it's a wonder she didn't put the bunch of grapes through one at a time.

I s'pose I should be gratefull she didn't have a fist full of expired vouchers for 0.0005p off tins of dog food to mess about with too.
Del

There is a story that a guy was holding up the checkout line while he looked for a 25 cent coupon for his 'half-gallon' of ice cream. Some guy named Bill Gates.

I'm surrounded by sexist pigs of both flavors!

My corporate US alarms are clanging!

But since are on the subject

no, no, really can't

...oh, now wait a minute, I think I can do that in exact money...
.
How much was it?
.
Oh yes, now where's my purse?
.
Here we are
.
One pound, two.
.
Two fifty
.
sixty
.
one
.
two
.
Oh, I havn't got it in change...
.
No wait, here's another 20p...
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Is that right Dear?
.
Oh I think you should check it...

Where's that damn grim reaper (bastard) when you want him
Del

FLASHBACK WARNING

20p

Listening to an Irish radio contest "game show" sort of affair

Contestants wildly excited, tension mounts

"Alright Mrs. Murphy - now for your 20p question"

Those of us used to American games shows with larger sums just fell out!

OMG - she's been to your local supermarket as well . Have you also had the little old lady who goes into the bank a lunchtime? The one who wants an explanation of PEP's/The Stock Market/time-of-day. She's nice enough, but why the crapping heck must she do it all in the lunch hour?

Back when I was working as a field engineer I raced to a customers site parking the car in the multi level underground car park. Taking careful note of the position of the car I raced to the lift and headed for the customers computer room. About half way to the customers floor I realized that while I had taken careful note of where I had parked the car I had omitted to ascertain which of the 8 levels of underground parking I had used.

Oh, smegging piles of excrement!

It took some time to find the car and of course it was about as far away from the elevators as was possible. GPS wasn't readily available at the time but I don't think it would work 20 metres or so underground.

ROFL ! From what I've seen, forgetting floor-level is much more common than forgetting location of car on the particular level. Maybe it's just peoples brains foccusing on the tricky part (where the heck it is amidst all the other cars) rather than what ought to be the easy bit.

8 underground levels - where the heck was it ? Some sort of computer back up facility in a disused mine ? I can't think of anything like that in the UK. A couple of levels maybe, but 8 is a fair way down.

It's Hades! He works in Hades..
Del

Anyone has to rush to the computer center works in Hades

Car is large so you have to provide the material...

What I really need is a long range remote that send a lighted balloon up on a reel.

Can't you just leave the car with a balloon tied to it ? I used to have a job selling balloons, but I quit because I felt silly when I got down to the last one.

You mean like these?

Although I'd give body parts for smaller version of this

PMSL...

That's udderly brilliant There's a terrific Darth Vader one I came across earlier;

udderly brilliant

Ba-dump - rimshot

GA.. not only G but sensible
Del

I would like to send my mother-in-law to SF with a one way ticket...

Just to show I'm not an ageist, sexist, mysoginist bully..
There was a little old lady in front a while back...she'd put her few quids worth through the checkout but couldn't find any money at all.
She was getting quite flustered, embarassed and didn't know what to do.
So I put it on my card, and reassured her it was ok....just hope someone would do the same for my Mum in those circumstances. It was only a fiver...
Del

That's a nice anecdote, and a point worth making. I reckon almost all the folk here are of a similar mind/action, but some tongue-in-cheek levity is a nice break from the merchant bankers of this world. It's like when you see organizations that use every chance to shout their 'anti-this/anti-that' non-descrimination credentials, and you just know they're going to be doing the exact opposite. Same with people. I'll go and tell that pensioner he can have an hour off from digging my garden

All my imaginary friends are just as nice - it's why I keep 'em

from a friends blog a couple days ago - redacted for privacy

The lady in front of me in line was having some conversation with the clerk that wasn't going anywhere, and so there I stood, rolling my eyes, waiting, tapping my foot, etc.

I listened in trying to figure out what the problem was. This elderly lady was waving a piece of paper at the probably nineteen-year old clerk, "My son needs these things, this is what I need...." she said, desperately.

The clerk was looking at her like she'd sprung a second head. "Did you call in for that?"She replied "my son...he wrote this down just now....I need these things!

"The clerk looked at her list, "Coffeemate, that's over in the freezer section," he said, waving distractedly and shooing her away.She shuffled off, muttering, "I need these things...."

I paid for my stuff, and as I left the store, I saw the woman pleading with another clerk, and getting more frustrated and disoriented....We went back inside. I didn't see her immediately, so we went over toward the freezer section. She wasn't there, either. So we turned and walked a few aisles.I found her, standing in another aisle, completely lost, eyes wide, and she was frantic.

She looked about like I did the first time I entered Times Square, only way less excited and eight times as scared.She held out her piece of paper to me and said, so plaintively, "Can you help me?""Yes, I can," I said, and she visibly relaxed.

TGM and I helped her get the items on her list while and got her to the cash register. Then we took our leave and went on about our way.I sure do hope that lady found her way home ok.

And then there are creative ways to deal with these things

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/howaboutthat/2069467/Wayward-Alzheimers-patients-foiled-by-fake-bus-stop.html

and

http://www.news.com.au/technology/story/0,28348,25596210-5014239,00.html

Maybe the number of locks in a community is the measure of how 'civilized' it is ?

I seem to vaguely remeber one of Heinlein's character's musing something of the sort, Lazarus Long - gotta be in my notes here somewhere....