Necklace made of neodymium magnets...?

It doesn't cut out harmful electro-magnetic fields to his cortex, however it does dramatically increase his gas mileage.

"Are we all going to San Fransisco?"

Got it!

No.

"Is this the way to Amarillo?"

bonkers.

Sorry It will only add to your friends perecieved problems.

Magnetic fields add, and are now concentrated and polarized next to your friends body.

Normal noise from electronics are usually scattered and have opposing polarities that cancel each other out. Strong fields can polarize a room in a specific pattern and any ungrounded object will work like an attenna. Since the whole object is usually at the same potential, it will not affect the object (or person) unless you are in close proximity to say a HF antenna. The only protection is true shielding that is grounded or distance.

If your friend is afraid of the Computer, tell them to get a grounding antistatic wrist strap (normally used in electronic repair).

Or, alternatively, if the "friend's" neck is an up-shoot of blood to his brain, the necklace may serve as a magnetic-confinement ring, to accelerate the free-radicals in his blood to you-know-where (end-stop visionary screen of the soul), just as a CRT electron-gun does to it's you-know-what (Phosphor-laminate area).

Dr. Sam Francisco,

Entomologist

Do they deflect bullets?

Vampires

Perhaps robot vampires made of metal.

They're the worst. Good thing I have my samarium-cobalt ultramagnet necklace and matching earrings. Should I get a tatoo?

Yes, it should include the words "magnetic personality". Make sure the earings match, least they try and meet in the middle or leave your head entirely taking your ears with them.

Got the tattoo. It reads, "Come to Papa."

That's only the garlic flavour version it's a special order $25 more.

Yes there is merit (for you). Your co-worker is gullible and has no idea how the real world works. If you are so inclined, tell him that for a small fee you could make a special modification to the necklace that would also add tiger-repellent properties. If your co-worker ever questions you regarding said modification ask him this simple question "well do you see any tigers around?"

The technical answer is NO, and that it is most likely doing more harm than nothing at all (that is a strong field after all). It is a hell of a lot stronger than the field given off by high tension power lines that some ignorant people are still moaning about causes cancer (which it has been proven not to by the way).

Here's something else you can try - take a standard 3.5" disk with his data on it (assuming your co-worker knows how to use a computer) and wave it around the necklace while he is wearing it, then get the co-worker to try and load the disk up. When he finds the files don't work, tell him/her that the magnetic fields have wiped and corrupted the data. Add, "The human brain is just like a computer, I wonder what that necklace is doing to yours". Stand back and enjoy (best performed in front of a large audience).

It's the only way they will learn.

it might be a message from our asia.

some businessman always can make money than we all do.

if you watch tv, they will tell you the tech is from USA, or europe.

Magnetic repulsion of electromagnetic waves is just a ruse, an inducement to wear the magnets. They do nothing to stop such waves, but actually accentuate the wave whose polarity is in the same direction as a magentic pole, and correspondingly diminishes the opposite polarity. But this is not point. Far more sinister motives are at work here. Fell motives indeed, and fell times call for fell means.

Eventually the iron in his blood will separate and fuse together into a permanent ring around his neck, just under the skin. Taking iron supplements will accelerate this effect, so please, encourage him. It'll save us a lot of work. Once the ring has gained sufficient mass, we can dispense with the electromagnetic control of his soul and begin leading him around by his new Ring. Which was the whole point. Why do you think Gollum runs on all fours. The weight. The weight of his Ring.

One Ring to rule them all, One Ring to find them, One Ring to bring them all, and in the darkness bind them

WOW... what a thread!!!

What about those neat little magnet necklace thingys that keep you from asking Hubby "Can do you DO ME" hehe

Will they also align your brain cells and create iron lumps under the skin where they touch?

If Gollum had a heavy ring wouldn't that make him sit down a lot rather than walk on all fours?

Quite!

It depends on where he chose to wear it. Sorry... I couldn't resist... but Gollum was male... Right??

You mean like, Gollum would like, flash, in a mall or something?

Cortex? Which one?

You can tell him it may protect his brain, but that's not all he has to worry about. At this point, I can't help thinking that if I were you, I'd try to save my friend from himself by chucking a few daily handfuls of paper clips over the cube wall...

Is he bigger than you?

...Cortex? Which one?...

The bottom third-left from the attic, you know, where the cobwebs relay the message to the mid-limbic of the rootoflask extension, you know where the hatchet lay stored for an emergency, you know, in the back of my mind.

...Mind? What mind?...

There goes. And I only wear the necklace for two minutes

Throwing the paperclips worked very well! A bunch stuck to his magnetic necklace!

He must use plastic eating utensils or looks like he's been in a food fight after every meal.

Honey, would you please carve the turkey? Here's the knif...AAAAAAAAAGH!

I believe this only works if you are also sporting an aluminum foil hat. This has of course the added benefit of preventing aliens from reading you mind. At least that's what my toaster told me.

...At least that's what my toaster told me...

Funny you should mention that. Mine must be crazy then: it insisted on me wearing nothing but a tin-foil hat, and that, too, only to stop me from transmitting to the aliens.

Are these in cahoots?

Who can you trust these days?

Toasters are unreliable and evil. The only appliance you can trust is your refrigerator.

Yeah. I guess so. By now, my fridge is so disappointed from my long romance with the toaster, he wont put out for me anymore.

You can't even unplug it for revision. It runs on free-energy.

You lucky dog.

I tore mine apart for the nichrome wire... I need the ballast for a project. The heck with waiting for the stores to open!

You da man!

I once needed a hefty load for a power-supply test, so I borrowed the big burner from the electric stove. My ex was none too pleased come dinnertime.

Toaster sacrifice, hard core but it couldn't happen to a more deserving appliance. I don't know if that's legal here. Actually, if I recall correctly, it was and maybe still is to willfully destroy amateur radio equipment.

My fridge and me are buddies. He helped me get rid of the air conditioner, which was too damn noisy anyway. So how do I keep the place cool under the hot Texas sun? Why, I simply prop the fridge door open. It's one o' them greater-than-unity models by Kenmore.

After the toaster tried to burn my buns, I took it out behind the woodpile and shot its sorry ass.

Yeah while the toaster's feeling the heat the fridge is keeping its cool. The feezer is rather frosty. It's elemetal you know Holmes.

With the aluminum hat he could emulate a discone type of antenna which would absorb all the radiation from the cell phones and make for the rest of us... a quieter world... and make himself a peopleburger.

I wonder why he wants to play a guinea pig..................

No, not just bonkers. Bonkers and gullible.

Greg

The real hoot is knowing that some slick con artist out there gots some o' your co-worker's hard-earned cash in exchange for some SuckerWare. Sounds kinda late to go about protecting that cortex, dontcha think? After all, it bought the necklace, didn't it?

...After all, it bought the necklace, didn't it...

Or vice versa, depending on the source:

New-Age-metrosexual-man loves his wife dearly. She's a career-woman, and comes back from the latest convention with a new pearl-necklace (non-magnetic). - "Wow! where's the necklace from, honey?" - "We had a lottery at the end of the convention, and my ticket won". Then, another convention, and back with a diamond ring - "Lottery and my ticket won". Another convention, chinchilla fur, - "My ticket won again. Fill me a tub with hot water, I'm falling off my feet, will you daddy?" - "Sure".

She comes to the tub, but it's hardly an inch deep with water.

- "What's that daddy, Are you stingy with water now?"

- "No-no baby love, I was only afraid the ticket would get wet"

Brilliant observation on human kind. It's the magpie instinc women seem to have.

Shiney oh so shiney but all that is shiney is not real shiney shiney.

Some is just cheap tat. Some is very expensive tat. Oh those tears.

Divorce, how dare you sware at me like that. I know your flat broke, how? I spent you out years ago. Yes incuding your pension fund. And the insurance bond. Oh and your special rainy day fund. Yes even sold your nice new golf clubs. Why oh for shiney shiney. You have to have the right things now or you can't go out, they'll all gosip down at the country club you know. They can be so very cruel those "bitches".

Ya know, I've read that one several times now, and I just don't get it. Is something lost in the translation or am I just stupid?

No remarks from the Peanut Gallery!!!

I strongly suspect that the ticket is found in her pubic region

Dear Europium,

Wear your tin-foil rain-coat (the one with the hood), and see if you can post or not.

They're rebuilding the site, I tell you.

Then again, maybe it's about a reluctant proxy server you're through. How can you verify your route through to a given website, with your provider?

...a "glass" cap on the number/cumulative size of posts allowed per user per day?... Is exactly what I got last time

I told you my tinfoil hoody is at the cleaners! Maybe it would help if I stuck my head in this here cyclotron...

No-no! We need it. Get the hood first, then stick your head into the cyclotron, if only to get our weekly brief for taking-over this here earth. Would you like me to report on you? Zolgar in never in a good mood. Remember last time, with my toaster? He called Romboot to kick me out of my cell. Would you call this fair?

Keep in mind we are guests here. At least until we recruit the UN secretary, that is.

Sorry folks. You have seen nothing, Pzzzzzzt!

The last proxy server I heard about worked for Bill Clinton. She was not reluctant, and they both got into trouble over that situation.

O.k, but the issue is valid: I'm right here, continents away, with 250 kb/s practical down-time and 80 up-time, with near prefect ping, and some of you guys, right next-door, being dragged through the mud sometimes.

It's a routing issue.

Was that proxy Cuban, from Cuban seed, or Domestic? Did it have a Connecticut wrapper? Or am I thinking of a different proxy?

I am not sure... but I believe the server had a name... like Monica Lewinsky maybe?

Maybe she is Polish. Wait a minute... I may have screwed up... She might have been a Prexy server...

So, why didn't you say Lewinsky?

Lewinsky is just foxy. Little plump, but foxy nevertheless. The eyes. The eyes are the giveaway.

I can never take my mind from that Beret-hat she had. Did Clint had to shift it aside? I would. I mean, as if...

No. I don't.

Play saxophone. What? WHAT?

...Cigar Africando...

Nuff' said.

..and which cigars work best...

Mine are kept on a retainer consultancy-fee, or on hourly-base depending on service rendered:

Cubans are known... (CIGARS! OK? CUBAN CIGARS! Give me a brake here) to wet the lips as in magic, while Dutch will sway you with their distinct odor.

And while on that note:

"A pipe will give the wise an opportunity to ponder, and give the stupid an opportunity to clog their mouth" Something like that

Hope it survived the translation.

""A pipe will give the wise an opportunity to ponder, and give the stupid an opportunity to clog their mouth"

-----

Okay. Let's have it in the original Swahili. And no mincing words.

One break, coming up! What do you have against Cubans? They're great cigars! At least the Hoyo de Monterrey, 4½", 32 ring-size beauty I smoked. It was fabulous, having been smuggled across The Pond from Heathrow's duty-free shop by an unnamed friend.

But I must admit that my all-time faves are not Cuban, thankfully (and someone please lift that insipid, quite-worthless, totally-ineffective Cuban-cigar embargo? Fidel hasn't fallen out of his chair, but he is smoking my cigars and I resent that). My faves are Aliados Valentinos. I can't even find them anymore. Pity. No, not a pity. A cryin' shame.

...Aliados Valentinos...

Mexican? Puerto Rican?

Nothing against either.

Cubans? I hate Cubans! (Cigars, Cuban Cigars) they get the lips wet as in magic, and the distinctive odor that follows... You can't even imagine.

Have you ever smelled the mouth-tip of a saxophone?

Imagine what Lewinsky had to endure should she

Ah, forget it

Best cigar I ever smoked was a Cuban. It was of average size, and the wrapper looked and felt as if oil had been rubbed into it. Regarding the taste, all I can say is it was the first cigar that tasted the way the smell of cigars always made me imagine they would taste. It was gooooooooood!!!

The Cuban-cigar police is surrounding your home now.

You better come out, hands raised high, and shown empty.

Whaddya think, It's a game we're playing here?! On your knees, fingers weaved behind your head! Read him his rights Pablo:

"Anything you enjoyed may be used against you in a court of lure"

Can I help it if Canada imports them to the US as "chocolate?"

They do? So, you actually have to be or become a Canadian to enjoy Cubans?

Tell 'em, Maria!

¡NO, NO TODOS LOS CUBANOS!

Well legally yeah.

"Anything you enjoyed may be used against you in a court of lure"

-----

I had no idea the Southern Baptist Convention had a significant presence in Haifa. hehehe.

Run, Monica! RUN!

ROFLMAO!

...Aliados Valentinos...

Mexican? Puerto Rican?

-----

Cuba Aliados Valentinos are from Honduras. Found 'em, too! Great cigars!

Is it proxy or vixen you're talking about?

It sounds like a proxy, but it walks like a vixen, and smells like

Ah, forget it.

"Is there any merit to this or is this guy just bonkers?"

NO & YES.

One or maybe both of you need a tin foil hat!

I guess a steel helmet might just be going too far.

It has the advantage of protecting you from flying debris, which of course is real.

...of protecting you from flying debris...

From outside-in or from inside-out?

It's not the same, you know

Only protects from outside in. What is needed to protect from inside out is a gag since most of that type of debris tends to be BS.

Right, right. I tend to get lost in the mist sometimes. A tin-foil gag may also serve as a bi-directional communications-block

Please tell your friend that the magnets will not help him in any way. They will affect floppy disks (already mentioned) and they will affect cathode ray tubes (televisions or computer monitors). Plus the fact that if he happens to lean against an iron post or cabinet, he will be stuck there forever.

Once you have convinced him to remove it, tell him to put it in a box and mail them to me. I have a magnet motor project I'm trying....

Suggest a tinfoil hat as well.

About as useful as woman sanitary ware.

You could swim with it, go on horse rides, go hiking, play tennis etc etc. The positive possibilities are endless.

ATTENTION!!!

Tell your friend to take off all his cloths, go to the nearest mall, and wait for further instructions from the mother ship!

He will be picked up soon enough, that's for sure...

Consider these aspects.

The magnet consentrates the magnetic field in the neck and will influence everything that is magnetic in the neck and possibly the brain or part thereof.

The fluids in the body cantains water which is a magnetic dipole. The biochemistry of the cell is dependent on the electromagnetic properties of complex proteins in solution which regulates diffusion through cell membrames. Intervention in these processes will and must adversely effect the mechanics of how the cell in the body reponds.

Forces of nature like electromagnatism (Maxwell) and gravity (Einstein) is very small and the body cell evolved in the weak e-m-g environment. I suggest it is irresponsible for any person to destablised this environment because of some idea or story or believe that is founded in culture and religion.

Hey!! In any case you have not realized, so far as the Engineering community is concerned, the concept is worthless. You ( at your own discression) might want to inform him as such. But the whole concept is hawg dung. If it makes the man feel better, let him do his thing. but don't put your own money into it.

Bill

Is Washington considered Hawg country? I wasn't aware of that.

This is Hawg Country.... ARKANSAW the ONLY USA state mentioned in the Bible:

Noah looked out of the Ark an saw dry land.....

Donald

I thought so... And if you're really from Arkansas, you should get this reference:

"S#%t Fire!!!"

not REALLY from here, just migrated 30 years ago, they just now have let me join them to call the HOGS..... P ......I......G SOOOO EEEEEE

I am not sure if it is or not... but it sounded good.

FYI I did my time in silicon valley... 15 years of it... but escaped and came back to the northwest. I have visited down there since then and have even less interest in moving back. My ex informs me that as soon as she can retire, she is getting the heck out of there too.

Anyhow... enjoy...

Bill

"Honeybees & magnetism"

The magnets prevent the bees from returning to his bonnet - or keeps them there.