I Love My Wife But...

I'll reply to this one when it's safe.

While I'm not Married I am in a LTR which equates to the same thing.

I can appreciate your "frustration" with "Feminine logic", tcmtech, it bedevils every man in a relationship with a woman.

I'm colour blind, she knows that, but it don't stop her from asking me which article of her clothing matches something else.

We'll be out shopping (eg xmas shopping) she'll select an item (present for someone I don't really know)and then says to me "What do you think? Do you think the'll like it?" My immediate stifled response is " I don't dare think.". It don't matter what I think she'll buy it anyway..

But the zinger is when I get home, she says go and sit down put your feet up and relax. Then 5 minutes later gives me a list of things she wants done before dinner.

I love her to bits but...

TCM,

Hello, again. It sounds to me like the engineer's life! I am 73, with 52 years of married life expereince to the same sweet heart, and all of your challenges. My advice is to "pay attention," and to get ahead of the game, or you may suffer! The problem is that the girls understand "soft logic" better than we do, that is why you have been successful in the "real world."

You could try the non-digital oriental approach. Life is like an analog clock with continous time in between the ticks. Try to "feel" your way through the day, even if you often lose.

When she wants to drive 35 miles to get milk, anticipate that first and offer to get her a hamburger also. Leave the engine running so she will be warm after shopping.

It sounds to me that she likes you and just wants to be with you!

Ron

OK, I admit - I love someone else's wife....

Looks you're talking about mine? Sure she's yours?

She decides what she wants for Christmas 3 days before, but it is only available mail order!

Your wife tells you what she wants?

Mine makes me a list, I tell her if I don't get a list with details, she will get nothing. Since she likes to receive.....I get a list!

I loved my wife but... She loved some other guy's money better.

Women, can't live with em - can't kill em!

But seriously, with all the trouble I wouldn't have done anything differently. Besides, I'm with someone much better now. And I got 3 GREAT kids out of the deal.

A perfect song for the thread:

I Hope That Somethin' Better Comes Along - Rowlf the Dog and ...

Listen to song "Why this Kolaveri DI" available on internet free.It is hit song downloaded by millions.

Human nature.

The song is VERY telling.

My experience is that they are all like that, dont matter if it's Girlfriend 5.3 or Wife 1.0....

You're a big chicken! And, no, she's gone so let it out!! (he he he)

I married a woman that is not a big "people" person, doesn't care for shopping, likes to hang out, have a some drinks and get a buzz on, doesn't care for formal occasions, and she likes fishing..................although I have to bait her hook and remove any fish from the hook that she catches. She's also gorgeous.

Sorry.

My wife has an IQ if 142, makes 3 times as much money as I do and is an x Playboy Bunny. And she isn't standing behind me any longer. So there!

Oh yeah, I forgot to mention that mine is also the primary bread winner at the moment, so if there was something that bugged me about her, I wouldn't mention it anywhere.

Really what issue?

My wife is pretty hot and smart too. Getting her to use/show either of them most days is like getting a duck to fly backwards though.

Plus she speaks two languages and I usualy barely speek one. (Grunt snort point poke repeat)

Are you having a party after the divorce?

sounds like she's sick of your happy *ss

the word but should never be included in the same sentence as the words

I love my wife

unless it is in this form

I love my Wife's Butt!

Did Santa bring eggnog this morning?

No but there there was/is mistletoe aplenty

Shhhhh!

Are you CRAZY!!!!

She might be reading this post right now!

I am amazed that TCM has gotten 24 comments on this one thread! A summary of the comments make me want to share an experience of several fishermen who were having simular feelings about their wives out on Tarawa Island, Republic of Kiribati in the Central Pacific, in 2005. In short,I felt that they didn't have happy wives.

I served an 18-month mission there to certify the secondary teachers to qualify them for western teaching salaries. Many of them had been married for time and eternity and felt that they had it made, even if they periodically beat their wives for being slack in unloading the boats at sunrise. I told them that if their wives were not happy that they would have no increase in the eternities, and that they would be like the schmo. They had not thought of that and their wives appreciated their new perspectives. I share the same perspective with you, the happiness of your wives is important for the long-term!

This is all meant in good humor.

Its mainly just for funny comparisons of life stories just to let others know they are not the only one who's other half is entertaining/bewildering in too many ways to count!

I love my wife but... Almost every morning when get up she is already up and it seems to surprise her every time when I come walking into the living room.

(That makes me worry a little now that I think about it. Overnight did she forget I live there or is she surprised to see that I am still alive and if so what did she try to do to me that didn't work?)

Maybe it is in good humor, and I don't care if she IS a former bunny, I STILL love someone else's wife !

TCM,

Don't worry about it if you are satisfied with a clean boat, and the fish all get sold on time! She sounds happy to me.

"In short,I felt that they didn't have happy wives."

I'm amazed that you think that you can analyze how women feel about their husbands by only listening to the men talk outside of the earshot of their wives. This is very presumptuous of you. Not to mention sexist and bigoted.

Did you ever engage in conversations "relating to the lovable but strange quirks" that the husbands exhibit with the wives????

Did your "mission" include remotely psychoanalyzing the wives of the fishermen? I doubt it.

Let me try to unravel that analysis. The wives, as students, would tell stories of their husband's behavoir or abuse for not being at the water's edge upon his arrival, prepared to unload his boat. Upon discussing the matter with my friends, the husbands, they only insisted that their culture required that behavoir. So yes, I think that I could analyze how the wives felt.

The CT4 difference is that I heard the husband's story first, and it reminded me of the same circumstances. The advice still stands, you should be happier with a happy wife.

Perhaps you took this out of context. You are, after all, new to the forum. We are not fishermen. Nor are we fishers of men.

Tornado was on a crab boat, but I doubt he ever beat his wife.

Our culture is such that we can joke about our mates in a way that other cultures may not understand.

I'm guessing that you are either Jewish or a member of the Mormon cult and will take your statements as nothing more than another opinion of a contributor.

Cheers.

OH goodness.........................................LMAO!!!!!!

Well okay then how about some "I love my husband but..." Observations so us guys can have a laugh at what are probably some of our more common quirks!

My wife is well aware that I have no problems about having a good laugh at myself and uses that with reckless abandon some days.

Is there no woman in this forum?. If she is there, then why she is keeping quiet?.

Zero points for observation.

And she is the one currently yawning - ^{_{which is far preferable to the decibels employed when the subject is her lawn.}}

This is not fun, if contains nothing but disparagement leading me to disbelieve you when you say you love your wife.

There is much similar humor on the lower levels of the internet.

Yep!

My wife likes to go out and eat when we are in town together which I like as well. The problem is she says she does not like certain fast food restaurants like McDonald's and I personally don't care where we eat so I let her pick.

Anyone want to take a guess at which fast food place we eat at the most by her choice?

My wife has a high level foreign degree in Interior Architect and a good number of high profile jobs she has been recognized, and was very well paid for, but she insists that when she gets her green card here she wants to work at Sears in order to get a discount on home appliances she likes there. I really dont know what to say to that to be honest.

Maybe she would rather get them that way than deal with the a-holes in the construction industry?

"Oops, gotta get off the computer so she can get on Facebook."

Mine has her own laptop so in theory her facebook, facebook games, U-tube videos of kittys, watching her shows and what ever else does not interfere me being on line.

Well no interference until she has about 20+ sites all open at once in the background then our bandwidth drops off too much and my connection gets buggy. Shortly after that she comes in and asks "honey why is my laptop connection not working again?" Click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click. (window closing clicks) There now its better.

My wife, Roxy is beautiful, intelligent, and extraordinarily talented (30+ years in show business). But she is technologically challenged. She has barely mastered the operation of light switches. So now she goes out and buys herself a state of the art laptop computer and I-Phone and expects me to teach her how to use them.

In reply to my own post, I don't want you to think that I look down on my wife. Roxy is a professional dancer. I can't walk and chew gum at the same time. Its just that teaching her how to use a computer is the same as her getting me on Dancing With the Stars

Roxy tells me that she doesn't want anything for Christmas. God help me if I don't get her something special!

Christmas was yesterday.

I know, and I am still alive today. But.......

The first item - I'm sure you do things that don't make sense to her. That's just her quirk, just lover her for it.

The second item - She's not talking about social interaction with other people, she wants more from you. The number one cause for divorce is from Husbands taking their wives for granted. Everything else is just excuses. I don't want to hear about such and such a case. I talking from the perspective that we have two good undamged people trying to make a marriage work.

The third item - She wants you to man up and make the decisions. She wants a man not a wuss. She wants you to show her that you've got a mind of your own. Women don't like it when men kiss up to them all the time. She wants you to do what you want to do or watch and she'll be happy with that. Your scenario, she's not satisifed because you're always leaving it up to her.

the forth item - apparently there are things that need to get done and she doesn't have time to take naps and she gets irritated with you because you're not helping her. Maybe if you took up some of her tasks for her without her having to ask you to do them and freeing her up will work wonders in this department.

the fifth item - Same as the second item only being delivered to you differently. If you can't find something to talk about then start listening to talk shows, watching programs, reading magazines, take up a hobby, something that gives you a passion to talk about and share it with her. Again you're leaving it up to her to do all the work.

the sixth item - You're probably not talking to her about anything anyways, so she's nagging you in an attempt to get something out of you.

"72 in a 45 Zone"

Maybe she was rushing home to be with you?

Oh man! Lets not even get into the driving thing.

I'll leave it at that.

How about 110MPH, in a freeway construction zone, weaving in and out of the barricades, in a Corvette and she talked her way got out of it, somehow. I wasn't there to see how she did it.

Maybe you don't want to know.

I kidded her that those Vette windows are right at zipper height to a patrolman.

I'll never look at that emoticon the same.

Anyway...............................

_{We're heading into the badlands again.}

At least yours does not appear like its her first time behind the wheel for the first 30 seconds every time she gets into one of your vehicles. I hope.

The key goes where and turns what way? Push which peddle down to make the starter go? Which gear is reverse? Where is the light switch and how many clicks until all the lights actually come on? How do the headlights switch from high to low and back? Which buttons move the seat and the mirrors?

But then after that she has no problems driving my F250 super duty with a 10,000 pound trailer behind it at interstate speeds in heavy traffic.

I think her RAM and processor is good but her hard drive has a terribly slow boot lag and transfer rate.

TCM,

Have you ever had this many comments on your thread before? There must be a lot of engineers, with time off this time of the season!

Good show!

Ron

Not that I am aware of. Rather I think its just a common topic that anyone who has been married or has at least had a long term relationship can relate to!

Here is another one.

I love my wife but... Today she decided that since she felt that her pants are too tight and I admitted just went from notch four to notch three on my belt (my pants will still fall off without it) That we need to loose some weight. Guess who is in the kitchen baking cookies and what not right now.

And no I am not going to bring up the weight gain conversation with her until after the cookies are done. I feel that some things are best discussed over fresh cookies and cold milk.

In reply to #54 FacilitiesManager,

What a pleasant thoughtful reply! My wife and I are going to dinner in an old 1850 pioneer home, and to the zoo to see her favorite animals, the giraffes for our 52nd anniversary tomorrow night. I love that girl and her description of the winter solstice today as we shaded our eyes from noon sun through the kitchen window.

My wife can NEVER make up her mind even when she asks my opinion , other peoples opinions or when I have tried in the past to help her to move on one way the other.

Her constant flip-flopping and second guessing makes me crazy

I have perfected the perfect answer to most questions from my the wife after much trial and error such as:

Does this dress make my back side look big............

My Mom and Dad had a fight....who do you think is right..........

The kids are coming out for supper, what shall I make........

I don't know what to wear..........

Do these shoes match..............

Where do you want to go for dinner tonight..........

What color should we paint the bathroom.............

My successful response (in most cases).........I don't want to get involved

What color should we paint the bathroom.............

We?

EXACTLY

My secret is to allow her to make up MY mind.

She usually gives me enough clues, that I say the right thing............................................................................then there are the times, that I'm pondering a CR4 thread, (or something equally important), and she accuses me of not listening to anything she says. Probably because after she talks for 5 minutes, I'll turn around and say, 'what'? Or, I'll say yes, when it isn't a yes or no question.

I always have to be wary of the big butt in the dress question................yes is a bad answer.

some potential answers:

Does this dress make my back side look big............

You want to say: Not any bigger than usual!

You should say: * Hey honey it makes your ass look amazing!

My Mom and Dad had a fight....who do you think is right..........

You want to say: Neither one...they're both dumb *sses

You should say: *You know your parents love you, and that's all that matters

The kids are coming out for supper, what shall I make........

You want to say: It all tastes like crud

You should say: *Everything you cook is just so good, I can't decide!

I don't know what to wear..........

You want to say: Whatever you wear won't make you look good anyway

You should say:

*How about that dress that makes your butt look so good

Do these shoes match..............

What you want to say: What? Each other?

What you should say: Nothing could come close to matching how hot you look

Where do you want to go for dinner tonight..........

What you want to say: Fast food

What you should say: The sky's the limit! You do so much around here, you should enjoy a night out!

What color should we paint the bathroom.............

What you want to say: I don't care. Really. I just couldn't care less!

What you should say: How about the same lovely blue of your eyes?

Just make sure that blue is your wifes eye colour and not your girlfriends

Too funny.

"They're both dumb @sses!"

I am sitting here laughing with tears running down my face...Thanks for the laugh!

Oh Garthh......please, please post your death on Youtube..........I need to know.........

Never ever talk in your sleep about a former flame..................much loss of Brownie points with wife...........dangerous also...........

Ah, what the wife dreams and what you dream. May the two realities never meet.

Yeah......paint the ceiling versus new Mustang.............

<splarf> Get that Mustang when the decorators are in .

Are you kidding man..........do you know how much blonde Mustangs cost these days?

Go for ginger - you know like me how rough it is, but hey.....

I'm holding out for Cern to come up with the answer..............

They may do some stuff, but you know as well as I, 'the 'ginger factor' leaves us ****** !

By pure chance, I once had a sequence of girlfriend all with the same name. My dad remarked, "that's my boy, doesn't matter if you talk in yer sleep" .

My wife is a 'deep sleeper', and memories of former girlfriends have long since gone. Were it otherwise, I'd be typing with a meat cleaver in my head.

I thot you were gonna say "my wife is a deep cleaver"...sorta like mine when she gets deep and cleaver....or sumpthin like that. She has a tendency to remind me. Must be something about saving her from a life of luxury were she married to that chinless railway exec.

"there is no sanctuary"...Logans Run

ps : I like your dad. Good manmind. Soon extinct.

I so wish we had met - you are an insane knuck, but never fail to crack me up. Yes, I still have them pics

Coolcat campers man!

I have had the stomach flu for the last three days and have finally gotten over it. The whole time my wife had been pecking at me to eat something but I did not feel like it because well, I had the stomach flu.

Today she has it and guess what? She does not feel like eating now either!

How come when I am sick I am supposed to do what she suggests but when she is sick with the same thing I have to do what she wants even if its now contrary to her previous suggestions?

That sounds like true empathetic love .

She's poisoning you.

Thanks a lot! now you've given it to me.

This is starting to read like an excerpt from the bath breaking thread.

Did it finally brake and start spilling its contents down the stairs and through the hall into the main room of CR4 thus contaminating everything that is presently there?

I think you are venturing Off Topic

Its my thread so anything I say is on topic!

Just ask my wife. Anything she says at any time is on topic with her even if it makes absolutely no verbal or cognitive sense to anyone else.

Recent examples~

I take my hose back. = I take back what I said.

I am naming this one Tim. = The cornbread is about done.

Pooplie dooplie. = I finished copying the hard drive.

Usualy I just assume that when she first says things like this they are Turkish sayings or phrases that just don't translate to English but then the conversations just spin out of control from there followed by much much laughter!

My wife mumbles with a Turkish accent what should I expect?

Getting rid of guest posters was about the best thing to happen to this joint.

The poor moderators are like sharks swimming in barren waters.....................there's just not much there.

Sometimes I feel obligated to throw them a little nugget............................and it doesn't even get moderated.

looks about the same to me

if anything the quality of questions has degraded

The rules of the Fight Club, is that you don't mention the Fight Club.

The most intelligent observation so far. deep, insightful.......safe!!

The bath overflowed long ago .

A fellow member's wife died recently, so out of respect I shall add no more to this thread. He would not agree to me doing so (being a gent and all that, he would want us to continue), but we have had our fun with wife type jokes for now. Check out Les Dawson for some funny MIL gags.

Happy 2012 to all, and may it bring you all the best. Serenity, peace, and contentment being amongst the more important things .

Sounds like you need . . . The Manslator!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ezVib_giTFo

Hilarious !