Are you a Lefty or a righty ?

A man, goes to the doctor, and complains that he has trouble taking a dump in the morning.

The doctor mounts him on all four, on his inspection table, and goes to his rear-end to inspect. Once he concludes, he simply tells the patient: "Sorry, but you seem to have hemorrhoids"

Offended, the patient turns back to the doctor: "And this, you cannot tell me straight to my face !?..."

Now where did you dig that old chestnut up from?

Suffice to mention you already rubbed this old bird.

Sorry, beard.

That's better.

Listen, It's not completely out of question that some antique American jokes, managed to take root in common Israeli folklore.

We take money, arms, political systems, advertising techniques, silly slogans and stupid sound-bites, but not jokes? Why?

We export arms, military technology, scientists, criminals, scholars, artists and spies. Can't we have a brake about some lousy jokes, which you probably invented in the first place?

Have a better one? I'm all ears.

And then some.

If you're all ears, how can you read what I write?

I hear you, my son.

Go on....

OK, in keeping with the title of this thread, here goes...

A dog goes into a saloon, walks up to the bartender and says, "I'm looking for the man that shot my paw."

A dog goes into a saloon and orders a shot of Bourbon.

It takes the shot with it's right (on-topic) paw, and turns to leave when the bartender says, "I've been here for thirty years, and it's the first time I've seen a dog, to order a drink.

The dog: "With your prices, it's probably the last"

On his way out, he beats the crap out of a cat that looks sideways at him.

Thoroughly pissed and wishing to avenge his injured pride, the cat returns...

Quoting someone's post to respond to it is perfectly legitimate.

Well? Can I ask have these user's gotten written consent to copy and resubmit or post material posted on this here site or are these rules just boilerplate.

Quoting someone's post to respond to it is perfectly legitimate. It's a common practice on nearly all forum sites. Taking material from this site and posting it elsewhere, however, is a completely different issue.

Kudos for removing that fruitcake "eyeliner" post.

Hello(©2007 Europium, LLP. All Rights Reserved),(©2007 Europium, LLP. All Rights Reserved) Strife®.(©2007 Europium, LLP. All Rights Reserved) Have(©2007 Europium, LLP. All Rights Reserved) you(©2007 Europium, LLP. All Rights Reserved) considered(©2007 Europium, LLP. All Rights Reserved) copyrighting(©2007 Europium, LLP. All Rights Reserved) your(©2007 Europium, LLP. All Rights Reserved) posts(©2007 Europium, LLP. All Rights Reserved)?(©2007 Europium, LLP. All Rights Reserved)

You guys bring a whole new meaning to the Bore War. Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

I started life as a righty. After an accident involving a motorcycle, a tree, and 4 operations over 4 years. I developed into a person who could write and do almost anything with my left hand. Now I am again favoring my right hand and the skills learned for survival have diminished in the left side. So in answer to your question - Righty.

Left-handed, with two left feet as well

I keep trying to do as much as possible with my left, just in case something should happen to the right. But attempts at handwriting clearly indicate that I'm right handed.

Dick

I'm a leftie, but can write quite well with my right hand - as long as it is in reverse!

I write with my left, erase with my right.

I m a righty.

In my experience, i can say that most engs are rightiez

cept. i wouldnt be able to give you a %.

How bout a pole of % of OCD / ADD / ADHD in engineering.

I think its large!

Or, the % of us being babe hounds.

(hi testosterone / creativity!)

Lefty wrt dexterity. Righty wrt ideology. Which puts me in a much smaller minority in New York State than the dexterity thing.

John

I'm a right handed male from the southern hemisphere. What are the things that determine left/right handedness? Is it just in the mind or is it based on a child's perceived proficiency of one side working better?

RIGHTHANDED PEOPLE ARE WITCHES AND SHOULD BE BURNED AS SUCH!!!

Depends on what I'm doing.

I wriite or draw with my left but do almost everything else with my right.

My right is stronger but I can carry a weight longer with my left.

When I'm soldering, I hold the iron in my left and the solder with my right.

I wear my watch on my right wrist.

I tap on my cellphone with both left and right thumbs but can do so equally well with just the left or the right thumb.

I guess you might say that I'm a confusing guy.

I play flute right-handed, guitar left-handed, I sometimes cross my hands over when playing the piano, I use my utensils right-handedly, and wave my privates at your aunties with both hands. This is all so confusing.

I was born a poor right child. I know because I was around at that time. We had to do everything with our right hands. We couldn't afford any poncing, fairy, "pardon me, mama," fancy, bleeding left hands! Noooo! They were to good for our kind, seeing as how'd they'd just been invented.

I remember my a time as a young lad, watching those effete Lefty's, riding about in their bloody carriages, throwing their bleeding cuticle cuttings out the window, expecting us to be all grateful. But they were the ones with the fancy watches, and big gloves to live in! We were lucky if we could get a bleeding drop of hand lotion from time to time!

It wasn't dad's fault, there were just too many of us Righties around to get proper a job. He was lucky if he could get work picking the nose of some lord or lady. Mind you, he always had to go in the back way, with the rest of servants. And we considered ourselves damn lucky if he could smuggle a nose hair or two home to us, just so we could have bleeding decent meal for a change!!!

Then came the Chrimea...

And the Charge of the Light Cavalry I suppose.

I think the next thread should be, how many of us engineering types are obsessive/compulsive?

Munky <----

For further such suggestion:

How many of us engineering types are either fat or slim?

short or tall

dark or fair

male or female

sad or happy

married or unmarried

smokers or non smokers

PC or Mac users

left handed or right handed

rock or classical lovers

straight or gay

young or old

dead or alive

Insactly right!

That's why there is a profile...maybe if a few more filled theirs in we'd realise that we are all..... young handsome fit interesting virile happy liars!

Right... Tell my which politics you support, and I'll give you hell on 1001 other unrelated issues, if I don't like what I hear.

It goes well with race, creed, homeland, profession, sexual preferences, you name it.

But, yes, political preference is the best catalyst for it.

Race. I'm half Persian half Tukish Van. (with a little Ford Transit)

Creed. I worship Bastet the cat god.

Profession. I profess to be a cat.

What about your favorite vegetable?

G W Bush...funniest veg I know!

NOT a vegetable. Bush = shrub...

I heard Ronald Reagan's favorite vegetable was James Brady.

I use my right ear primarily.

Hear, hear!

Ambi Sinester, crap with both hands.....

Cards are dealt with the left hand. The pen is held in the right. Is that enough to be called ambidextrous?

Oh, yes. Latin for left-handed is "sinister".

I throw like a girl with my right. Can't do a thing with it.

Most of the engineers where I work are lefties.

-A-

Ambidextrous.

How is the counting so far?

Too many people are ambiguous about their ambidexterity.

Most "lefties" are of the "bats left, kicks right" variety. These people should not be considered "true" lefties, and therefor should not be shown the secret handshake.

-A-

My case is both, hands and feet. e.g. I play football and shoot corners, free kicks, penalties and ball domain with both left and right legs and feet.

and ball domain

??? what on earth is this???

You seem agitated del! do you want to talk about it?

Us Brits are protective of our national sport...we may be rubbish at it but we did invent it! Having played the game at an exceedingly low level I'm just curious to ascertain what weird ideas are being perpetrated in the name of football.

You are right ... I must calm down..calm..calm...ahhhh....zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Cat,

Surely you can't be serious! Football? Played with a round ball? You gotta be kidding!

Excuse me, Beckham's at the door.

I thought your national sport was roaches... No, ahh potato bugs... No, squash... No, that's a vegetable. Anyway, it's named after some damn bug!

Football? Baseball? NASCAR?

I suppose it makes me a bad American, I don't watch American sports. Not unless you count wishing Scott Speed would live up to his NAME!!

-A-

The general consensus is that Scott Speed is doing pretty good, especially given the car he has, F1 being so dependant on your equipment, hem hem. At least he's learnt to turn right!

I know. However, it's frustrating watching my countryman DNF time after time. It doesn't help that NO ONE at work knows who the heck I'm talking about.

In a lame effort to get back on task, I wonder what the handiness trend is for F1 drivers?

-A-

Good question, I'll ry and find out..

I think they play another game too; called Rugburn? (or something like that).

May be need "play doh" to understand it?

ball domain

Hi Del,

welcome to SPANGLISH!

This word is a free translation of "dominio" meaning to be talented (or having outstanding skills) when playing the ball.

Cheers doc!

..that certainly wouldn't apply to me then....no skill...no sense hence I played in goal.

Those kicks to the head never did me any architrave tho'......

....no skill...

This also applies to me: when it comes to football, it seems I have been born with two left legs!

Mine told me that ladies favour flat-heads. Was it only to console me?

Ball domain is when you kick left, right and centre.

Ball domain is when you kick left, right and centre

Any jerk can do that!

(except me)!

"Ball domain is when you kick left, right and centre"

Only if the left was when you intended it to go left, etc ...

I am a lefty.

My wife is a lefty

Both of my parents were left handed.

My seven siblings are all left handed

My three kids--righties. ? I guess its not genetic.

Maybe its a recessive gene?

Like the one for blue eyes and so on....

Hmmmm blue genes = denim - a town in France?

Have I stumbled onto a secret discovery?

In the UK we drive on the sinister side, or maybe its the gauche, on the left, supposed to have come from keeping the right hand free to fight off drivers coming the other way i believe....

Anyone for a joust?

Yes. Joust? No. Yes. No. Yes. No...

Recessive gene which undergoes "meiotic acceleration" for enough generations like an isolated community, say on an island, marrying each other to a degree that after enough generations they all become genetically related, would turn this recessive gene, into a dominant one.

Why joust? Are we in the middle ages. Did I miss something?

Joust a song at twilight...

I'm a lefty and have the smudge marks on my pinkie to prove it from the fountain pens the nuns made us use in second grade. They taught my left-handed sister how to write properly (from the elbow) but once may day came, they just rolled their eyes and let me crook my left hand and pretend I was a lefty. It was fine so long as I used a crayon or pencil. But, nothing was legible and it got even worse once I started using a pen.

Good think I learned to type correctly at an early age! No two index fingers for me! (maybe we should ask how many engineers type with two fingers? hunt/peck style? how many switch to the Dvorak keyboard layout?)

I do not believe the original question was raised here as to whether there is a genetic pre-disposition to being left-handed. While there have been many studies done on that subject, I am more intrigued by the number of left-handed engineers; I've been told that as many as one-in-three engineers is left-handed compared to one-in-ten in the general population. And, are there cross cultural differences? I do believe there are studies that suggest lefties die younger than righties and recall something that says we are more accident prone than righties.

Whether any of those studies hold up to scrutiny or not is almost besides the point. It's an interesting subject to ponder. And, I want to know why I can never remember which way to hold scissors, which way to turn the faucet.

And, on another note, a Mechanical Engineering friend told me that escalators are designed to adapt to the increased torque on the right side as most people reach out to the right-side railing. And, I've noticed in some states (all other things being equal), that toll booth lines are shorter on the left whereas in a neighoring state, the lines are shorter on the right.

Southpaws Unite (and, if you want to know what a SouthPaw is, I'll tell you. Is it a term commonly used outside the US?).

Lefty with a pen, righty with scissors. Righty with a mouse, lefty with a guitar. Lefty with a pistole, righty with a carving knife.

Lefty with you don't want to know. Ape-like.

A man is a man is a man. Right, left, it's all there.

By the best medical studies currently available, the cause of left-handedness is a slight form of brain damage that occurs during or just before birth. The brain has to start redistributing processes much earlier than a righty, which may indicate why lefties show a more distributed brain use when taking the "Left-Brain-Right-Brain" test.

Mao or John Birch?

Okay, with your permission, Primavera, let's refine the question.

Are you a lefty when writing?

I've been labelled a lefty just because of that. When they spot me eating with the spoon in my right and fork in my left, they say, "Hey, shouldn't you be holding them the other way?" I feign a surprised look and answer, "why should I? I always hold the spoon and fork by the handles!"

Something just struck me as odd right now... Do you often eat with a fork in one hand and a spoon in the other?! What's that for? Double-shoveling?

Do you often eat with a fork in one hand and a spoon in the other?!

???

^{Suddenly, I feel so strange. Like I've been doing something forever and suddenly learned that everyone else is doing it differently.}

Yes, I do eat with the spoon in one hand and the fork in the other and most folks here in the Philippines eat that way. The fork is used for pushing the food onto the spoon, which is the principal way of conveying the food into the mouth.

Alternatively, depending on what you're eating, the fork may be used to spear the food stuff, impaling it and lifted, wriggling and thrashing, to the feed gate where it disappears into the digester along a lubricated flexible pipe.

Well, see now. You just educated me about the Philippines. Makes good sense!

In America, the fork is used as somewhat as a fork and spoon (hence, Taco Bell's invention of the spork). The spoon is usually used only for liquids or semi-liquids. The fork is usually used with the knife, and (after cutting) the knife is used as a "pusher" for the fork.

Pretty cool, huh!

The spoon is usually used only for liquids or semi-liquids. The fork is usually used with the knife, and (after cutting) the knife is used as a "pusher" for the fork.

Ça va Vermin?

Occidental way of using cutlery is a custom we owe to the French.

These "rules of politesse" were lateron adapted to uses and customs of different countries

Most Indians eat very gracefully with their hands, and have nothing to be ashamed of, regarding their ancient and mostly celebrated culture. So do Arabs.

Modern cutlery, is a sixteenth century fad, that caught-on to western civilisation and many other countries, as an artificial, arbitrary standard, of "civilised etiquette", because colonial powers of the nineteenth century had a "mission" to "civilise" the indigenous people of their colonies.

The proper use of cutlery, doesn't turn someone civilised or graceful, but rather their respect and kind manner to other living things.

Maybe I'm wrong, but that's my two-cent's worth.

Etiquette, dear boy, etiquette!

Civilized? Give me a firm hand shake, look me dead in the eye, take you hat off indoors, and don't cuss or spit in front of the women. Manage that and we'll get along fine.

Now, really. What's wrong with that?

-A-

No dear boy, one can spit in front of the women folk as long as we use a spittoon, but not in front of the hounds..

The difference is in the type of food we eat. I know folks in the U.S. eat more meat than we do. So you get a large steak on a plate, a smattering of vegetables on the side, maybe some mash on the other side with a dab of gravy. You use a fork to hold the steak down (in case it's still alive) and cut with the knife. Then you lift the fork, which now has a small piece of some poor animal, and convey it to your mouth.

I've eaten that way several times, mostly when we go out to eat in some classy restaurant. The couple of times we have American visitors, we sometimes cook up American style meals just to make them feel at home. Some of them insist on trying Philippine food. Occasionally, this causes them to run for the toilet the next day.

Any of you guys heard of "balut"? It's a duck egg that's been allowed to partially develop into a chick and then boiled. It's a delicacy here and some foreigners like it. Most, however, won't touch it. One American woman exclaimed, "Oh, the poor little thing!!!" and wouldn't even watch us wolf it down. I watched a group eat some on "Fear Factor" a couple of years ago. It was funny to see their faces as they tried to eat it.

Are you certain Taco bell invented the spork? Its not important, I just think you type anything that comes to mind. I apologize if I have offended you for making this remark. Some inventor might care that's all.

I thought you were Vulcan, not Klingon?

Being an Earth-born Vulcan, I've never learned to be vegetarian.

Actually, when I said wriggling and thrashing, I was referring to the spaghetti wriggling around as I tried to get it into my mouth by lifting it overhead.

Say aaahhh...

It's also an effective way to eat spaghetti - twirl the pasta on the spoon with the fork into a neat ball that's way too big for your mouth.

Yeah, I know. But it sounded as if Vulcan was a chronic pasta eater!

About handedness, take a look into it:

http://psychology.hypnoticworld.com/influence_personality/handedness.php

I think that this is an issue that should remain between me and my tailor

Judges 20:16 (New International Version) ¹⁶ Among all these soldiers there were seven hundred chosen men who were left-handed, each of whom could sling a stone at a hair and not miss.

Left-handed soldiers were prized in ancient times. Since most soldiers would have already fought right-handed soldiers, fighting a lefty can be confusing. A lefty, however, would have fought rightys with more regularity giving them an advantage in battle.

I guess it wouldn't matter if you miss a strand of hair with a stone. As long as you hit the head the hair is attached too !

You are right about the confusion that a right handed swords has when he faces a left handed swords man. A soldier in those days would normally have a shield on his non sword arm to defend himself, this would normally be his left arm. This would be perfect for warding of blows from another right hander and useless against a left hander unless he brings it right across his body. This would, of coarse would interfere with the normal function of the sword arm.

Very disconcerting when one does not need to be disconcerted.

I'm not sure that being left handed was an advantage for slingers. The fact that they were all left handed would mean that at least their slings would not be banging into each other as they would with a mixed group in a tight formation.

An excelent point to make Vulcan.

I wonder how tough it would be to find 700 left-handed soldiers, especially back in those days. Israel wasn't a big country back then. The verse I mentioned referred to the tribe of Benjamin which wasn't the biggest tribe if memory serves me right (nowadays it doesn't ).

From memory the tribe of Benjamin was punished by the other tribes for refusing to hand over the rapists of a Levite's wife. The Levite dismembered her and sent the pieces to the other 11 tribes with a note explaining his problem and inviting them to correct the situation.

This lead to the slaughter of a lot of Benjamite males and a rapid exit (stage left) for survivors.

This gave rise to many minor Jewish settlements around the Mediterranean and all soughts of stories of the lost tribes of Israel.

A very colourful history, mostly blood red. It is a very colourful area.

I think this sums up the whole Middle East problem...

Still discussing grudges from 2000+ years ago !!!

The English have long since forgiven those French Bas**rds for invading in 1066,

(a mere 1000 ish yrs ago)...Now where did I put my longbow?

Discussing!!!??? Otherwise you hit the nail on the head!

lol...yes I was trying to remain polite!

From memory the tribe of Benjamin was punished by the other tribes for refusing to hand over the rapists of a Levite's wife. The Levite dismembered her and sent the pieces to the other 11 tribes with a note explaining his problem and inviting them to correct the situation.

This lead to the slaughter of a lot of Benjamite males and a rapid exit (stage left) for survivors. This gave rise to many minor Jewish settlements around the Mediterranean and all soughts of stories of the lost tribes of Israel.

A very colourful history, mostly blood red. It is a very colourful area.

If you go look at a medieval castle, all the spiral stairs are going up in a clockwise direction, so if you are defending, your right arm is free to use your sword.

There are some exceptions: Newark Castle, Port Glasgow (Keep staircase); Bolton Castle, Yorkshire; Brackloon Castle Clonfert, Co Galway;...........

Was it the users who were left-handed, or the builders of the stairs, as there does not appear to be any larger castles where all the stairs are acw.

Hmm, I've never been to any of those ones. Why is Bolton Castle in Yorkshire? Did they steal it?