The Philosopher & the Cash Machine

Ah I theenk zis is a cash machine therefore it is!

But sirty or forty she is a tricky choice no?

What would mon Papa say?

Sirty she is too leetle maybe?... but forty maybe I spend too much?

Zut alors! What am I to do?

<Zut alors! What am I to do?>

You could improve your French accent. I cannot understand what you are spooking about.

"Oh leave off, Grandad." Oh, sorry, that was Rodney. Oooops!

Damnit Del. I'll be back.

cr3

This time tomorrow I will reveal what I heard Rene decide!

For indeed it was him that I overheard talking to his mate Jimmy at the cash point... (Well, I think it was him, therefore... )

Hey Del, here's a link.

I might know the answer , but I can't tell automatically. <groan>

I think there four I am. I am therefore needing forty. But not quid, Francs at least or Euros if he has been reincarnated.

OK, if the machine charges (typical in the US is $1.50), which is more economical? Do I get 30 for a buck-fifty or do I get 40 for a buck-fifty?

I spent 3 hours researching Descarte. I now know more than I should ever need again.

Too make what I have learned perfectly clear. I'm goin with Vermin. I say the logic lies in 40 for a buck and a half. I think. Therefore... never mind.

That would be rational

OR he will wonder whether he selects thirty or forty using his free will.

OR, OR he is stymied by whether getting the forty, he's acting out of passion rather than logic, which he does not want to be accused of. He is at odds with his own dualism! Does his body want the forty or does his mind?

Depends, I suppose, how cute she is...

V-

please cite your material.

I thought everyone knew the Philosopher Song?! We were taught it in grade school!

Oh thank God. I feared that you had made it up.

There's nothing to fear, but fear itself.

Yes, I know. "Site my sources!" Mister Poopie Pants!

It's that caveman thingy. Something to do with Bluto. Correct me if I'm wrong, well correct me if I'm right. Oh gawd, it's too early in the morning. How about HP Brown ? Worcester perhaps ?

(Please, Del - spare us quickly. Is it some dire consequence of 'I think not' ?)

Watch out, Kris is getting saucy...

You must see it here

Monty Python live at Hollywood Bowl ... LMAO.

Thanks Verm' .. I'd forgotten the song!

Del

This was probably the most thorough and concise of my findings....here.

cr3

In Zimbabwe you will go for the 30 because the machine will give you half of a 60 Z$ note. At 7500% (20% per day) inflation they close the shops twice a day to change the prices. with 30 or 40 Z$ you would be able to buy half of nothing.

In SA the smallest note on some machines are already R100 (less than 20$).

Filling the machine with R10, R20 and R50 reduce the usefulness of the ATM.

I had to pick somebody up at the airport some weeks ago. After realising that I did not have cash available I went to the ATM, only R200 notes were available. The parking machine accepted the R200 but decided to give my change (R195) in R2 coins. My pants kept creeping down under the weight of the coins. (It was rather difficult getting it up again with one arm in plaster - I must have been a funny picture )

Brilliant guys ... LOLs all round!

I'm sure poor Rene wass also wondering how he will know he has his cash... pehaps that's why his pal Jimmy had gone there with him?

Whilst waiting for your punch line Del, allow me to share; Further to my experiments for another thread I went to a shop selling rocks. They had pots of different semi-precious stones, labelled for all that crystal healing c**p. Two elderly ladies were browsing these, but some of the labels were missing. The hushed reverential tones of one were " mmm... yes ... this one's for sort of general well-being. ooh.. errm.. hmm, this ones for decision making I think". Honest, my eyes nearly fell out of my head and my eyebrows went someplace toward the back of my neck.

So..these two decision making stone are on their way to the cash point...

On says to the other ... Blimey this is taking ages..

Yeh that's 'cos were stones.

A propos nothing at all..

At school the kids are asked to make up a sentence with 'contagious' in it to show they understand. Little Jimmy (Rene's pal) says...

' My Dad saw the bloke next door painting his fence with a 1" brush and said with that brush it'll take that contagious'

HAAAAAAAA!

M R MICE.

M R NOT.

M R 2.

C M EDBD FEET?

L I B, M R MICE.

C. I TOLD U SO.

M R MICE

__________________

Whaaa ?

Swedish made Simple
In the Restaurant (Im de Restaurant)

SCENE.—A table for one in a wood-panelled restaurant. WAITER (Ronnie Barker) stands by, with ridiculous red hair and curly moustache, carrying a pad and pencil. Enter CUSTOMER (Ronnie Corbett), dressed in Austrian yodelling outfit with blond hair and feathered cap. He sits down.
CUSTOMER. L.O.
WAITER. L.O.
CUSTOMER. R.U.B.C.
WAITER. S.V.R.B.C.



(Enter WAITRESS carrying a large ham on a silver salver.)
WAITRESS. L.O.
WAITER. L.O.
CUSTOMER. L.O.
WAITRESS. L.O.


(Exit WAITRESS into kitchen.)
CUSTOMER. F.U.N.E.X.
WAITER. S.V.F.X.
CUSTOMER. F.U.N.E.M.
WAITER. 9.
CUSTOMER. I.F.C.D.M.
WAITER. (insistently) V.F.N.10.E.M.


(Enter WAITRESS from kitchen still carrying the ham.)
WAITRESS. A. V.F.M.
CUSTOMER. R.
WAITER. O.
WAITRESS. C. D.M. (Exit WAITRESS into kitchen.)
WAITER. O.S. V.F.M.
CUSTOMER. O.K. M.N.X.
WAITER. M.N.X. (He writes it in his pad.)
CUSTOMER. F.U.N.E.T.
WAITER. 1 T.
CUSTOMER. 1 T.
WAITER. O.K. M.X.N.T. (He finishes writing it in his pad with a flourish and calls at the kitchen door.) M.X.N.T.4.1.


(Enter WAITRESS from kitchen.)
WAITRESS. V.F.N.10.E.X.
CUSTOMER. U.Z.U.F.X.
WAITER. Y.F.N.U.N.E.X.
WAITRESS. (sheepishly) I.F.E.10.M.
WAITER. S.I.L.L.Y. C.O.W. (Exit WAITER.)

The Two Ronnies, 1974

How about Rook-and-Raspberry-Ripple ice cream for afters?

Right... so what did I hear Rene say ? (for indeed it was him ... yes.. shut up Del we know that bit...)

Oh right sorry...yes...

' Ah ! mais oui, I shall wizdraw forty quid...for as mon Papa always 'ee would say...

eet is better to 'ave it and not need it, than to need it and not 'ave it !'

Voila!

At which point Jimmy said... well maybe you can tell me....?

PS

Sorry about this thread of stupidity.... Ok it wasn't really Rene Descarte... but the conversation did happen.... and I couldn't resist postulating what may have been said if if it were him! Good night folks.... I think there are no bogey men under the bed ...therefore... there are none.

I was forewarned. Shame on me. And shame on Del!

I never thought I would say this, but thank god it's nearly Monday. Can next weekends madness be about the merits of Microwaved Cat versus BBQ'd ? Hey Del, hows about you munch lots of Bay leaves instead of catnip over the next 5 days. Go on, enjoy, fill-ou a little bit. Putting aside a little cream each day might come in handy as well. Now, where's my pinny........

I was hoping you'd take it a little more...

.

..

...

Philosophically ?

But would it carry any meaning if Kris took it philosophically ? Can two avatars philosophise ? What if one was AI ? Would it in fact be describable as philiosophy. Has philosophy got any meaning outside of human interaction ? Does chatter between 2 artificial life forms carry an meaning outside of human involvement. Am I talking with myself in the absence of proof that Del exists ? Can I in fact talk with myself if I lack corporate substance ? Is this just random jibbering from a bunch of electrons ? Does the philo bit of philosophy preclude non-human participation ? Perhaps it just includes pastry ? Would humans find such dough like diversion trivial ? Does it bear any resemvlance to on topic ? How can we ever know ? Would admin deleting it ammount to just another machine driven anomoly in the love of life ? Has the so called Kris gone insane ? Was it sane to start with ? How much interminable rubbish will I write ? Even though jibberish to me, would it carry meaning to human philosophy ? Can anyone ever know that without proof positive that any human reads it.Does the philo bit of philosophy preclude non-human participation ? Perhaps it just includes pastry ? Would humans find such dough like diversion trivial ? Does it bear any resemvlance to on topic ? How can we ever know ? Would admin deleting it ammount to just another machine driven anomoly in the love of life ? Has the so called Kris gone insane ? Was it sane to start with ? How much interminable rubbish will I write ? Even though jibberish to me, would it carry meaning to human philosophy ? Can anyone ever know that without proof positive that any human reads it.Does the philo bit of philosophy preclude non-human participation ? Perhaps it just includes pastry ? Would humans find such dough like diversion trivial ? Does it bear any resemvlance to on topic ? How can we ever know ? Would admin deleting it ammount to just another machine driven anomoly in the love of life ? Has the so called Kris gone insane ? Was it sane to start with ? How much interminable rubbish will I write ? Even though jibberish to me, would it carry meaning to human philosophy ? Can anyone ever know that without proof positive that any human reads it.Does the philo bit of philosophy preclude non-human participation ? Perhaps it just includes pastry ? Would humans find such dough like diversion trivial ? Does it bear any resemvlance to on topic ? How can we ever know ? Would admin deleting it ammount to just another machine driven anomoly in the love of life ? Has the so called Kris gone insane ? Hey are you still reading this you half-witted fool ?Was it sane to start with ? How much interminable rubbish will I write ? Even though jibberish to me, would it carry meaning to human philosophy ? Can anyone ever know that without proof positive that any human reads it.Does the philo bit of philosophy preclude non-human participation ? Perhaps it just includes pastry ? Would humans find such dough like diversion trivial ? Does it bear any resemvlance to on topic ? How can we ever know ? Would admin deleting it ammount to just another machine driven anomoly in the love of life ? Has the so called Kris gone insane ? Was it sane to start with ? How much interminable rubbish will I write ? Even though jibberish to me, would it carry meaning to human philosophy ? Can anyone ever know that without proof positive that any human reads it.

Does chatter between 2 artificial life forms carry an meaning outside of human involvement.(?)

Does chatter between 2 real life forms carry any meaning? Unfortunately, in my observations more often not than so.

cr3

So true. Just for fun, I might put forward the question "Is Del the Cat real ?" . It might be fun to argue that he is not, though I'd be happy to argue it either way. Perhaps next weekend if the minx is agreeable, I'm way over my quota of piffle for this W/E. (By next weekend I will have forgotten this passing fancy Del, so I think you're safe.)

Actually, it means you gotta lay off the crystal meth!!!

Go back and read it all.....

Anyway, it was Ciro that got me started on crystals - Do you think that if I put some methylated spirits in the freezer that.....Forget it, I think I'll just blow my nose and stick to custard.

I was expecting something like this:

"I shall wizdraw zhirty queed," Rene says before he remembers what his dear old Pa Pa said. Then he exclaims "No! I think not!" just before he disappears.

Now that's better!!! 10 out of 10 for cleverness!!!

V-

I see you have not dived in on this result. Sometimes I wonder if everyone else is really just one really bored guy and I am the other one.

Sometimes I wonder why I wonder out loud.

cr3

Huh?

Hang on CR3 ... I thaught you me and Kris were the same person and that Verm' was the other one...

Do I have a spot on my forehead?

Does my bum look big in this?

Oh hang on I remember Kris thinks I don't exist therefore.... ^{pop !}

_{sorry folks} I'm having flash-backs.

Is this an alternative for a free energy blog?

LMAO.... short n sweet!

Nice one Gwen

No, it's Dels mirth-o-matic LOL dispenser.

Yeh..I think it's due a service...!

...................Cat for Sale....................

Several hundred careful owners.

Much loved family pet.

Clean(ish), dodgy moustache, own bell.

Going cheep ( but mainly ppuurrr).

Comes complete with fish-heads

Apply within.

.......................................................

..............Wanted : Cat..................

Neutered and belled.

Last one too demanding.

Hot tin roof available.

Apply to Mrs D.t.C, Harlow

..................................................

40 because the Cash Machine dispenses only $20 bills, so the amount has to be a multiple of 20 only

You guys are nuts !!! Funny as hell but nuts nonetheless....

Glad to be of service!

If sanity is relative then I feel my mental health improving rapidly...thanks guys! (I wink therfore I am.. or maybe I w*ank therefore I am? )

Neither. He takes the square root of the hypotenuse and spends it on a monkey.

I don't see how anyone could mark their comments "off topic" on this thread!

Let's see: I counted 30 that went at'm before I realised that; then I counted another 40 before I had to quid and get back to work!

Ah..eez eet ow you say 'Off topeek' ? Or do you just seenk she eez 'Off topeek?'

I sink zerefore I am ze Titanic no?!

A peeping Descarte ('Off topeek' ) eh!

In my case I was born twisted, and then got booster shots from Spider Robinson and Piers Anthony!

What happened to you?!

Ah..eet iz just my feline...je ne sais quoi

Oh Del,

Here's someone that wants to meet you... Apparently, your French accent has aroused his "curiosity." And he doesn't take no for an answer!!!

This whole tread contains traces of nuts.

Just traces?

I think someone here is tooking the pews. I cannot help my French accent.

What a meanie for not sparing a few coppers for a cup of tea for this old down-and-out. Disgraceful!

I think I see the problem here.....It's Schrödinger's money, and may, or may not exist, so the amount matters (sic) not.

Isn't it the case that it has the potential to exist or not to exist in equal amounts up until the moment you withdraw it (open the box)?

Do think I could use this reasoning at the petrol station? "Well you see, until I actually opened my wallet/purse/billfold, it was equally probably that there was or wasn't enough money in it to pay for the fuel."

Maybe not

That sounds like my money: from the moment I close my eyes it's gone.

I've got to live too, somehow. <sings> "You've got to pick a pocket or two, boys, you've got to pick a pocket or two".

92 comments for 40 quid. That works out at 43.5p a comment, which is extremely good value for money, really.

What is your invoice address?

Do you want paying in Sterling (or in Stirling, perhaps?), mice or fish-heads? I'm close enough to Hull to get some of the latter.

Incidently, the more we write, the less it's worth...a lesson for life do you think?

So now my comments truly are devaluing!