What is my 'thing' ?

A good taxidermist will be v difficult to find and v expensive.. My Brother is now retired from the Natural History Museum and was a top taxidermist and chairman if the guild or some such....

He once showed me some pics of a Kestrel or somesuch perched on a fence post eating a vole.. I asked if he'd baited the post to get the shot...he said 'No..it's one of my jobs...it's mounted' I honestly thought it was a wild life shot...that's the difference between real taxidermy and the 'stuffed' crap you see about...bloody squirrels playng cards and such like ..bastard Victorians have got a lot to answer for...drifts off into omnidirectional rant

Del

Odd that a cat's brother would give up a vole to a kestrel...but then if he ended up stuffing the kestrel, it starts to make sense... I realize it won't be cheap or easy (unlike some we know), but I'd like to have the otter posed in a lifelike manner with some large apple snail shells about as if interrupted dining. One of my university professors/mentors oversaw the wildlife museum collection which included stuffed bird skins, etc., but also had some very nice mounted mammals, birds, and reptiles. Ask said brother, if you would please, if he has any recommendations?

I'll give him a bell tonight...I reckon he'll say take as many photo's & measurements from the otter a.s.a.p Then it's down to studying them in the wild or looking at film/photos to get the most realistic pose..it's all down to observation, measurement, meticulous sttention to detail, experience, skill and artistry.

Del

Simple as that, is it?

Well, now...exactly how I'd approach it were I doing the work, but I haven't the skeletal mold, the head form, the glass eyes, not even a single remaining scalpel from my deluxe dissection kit that I put together piece by piece. Looks as if approving the pose is about all I'll be in charge of. Hopefully the rest will be the provenance of the taxidermist I select. There are 3 or 4 here to choose from, and I plan to review their work before commissioning the otter. Still, any advice from the pro would be MOST welcome!

Hey!
Just had a chat to Bro'

Otters, he's never done one but has seen several, a couple of really nice ones mounted as if they are spiraling up through the water, supported though the tip of their tail...very artistic and spectacular.

I found the actual 4 bore he restored..you can see the Tudor Rose on the Underlever.. here scroll down to lot 749 and click on the picture... he re-browned the barrel too. He said a 4 bore is about a 1" bore (a 12 bore is 0.729").

Del

Lovely gun! That 'bore' is approximately 3/4 of the diameter of the GAU8 30mm cannon used in the A-10 'Warthog' ground support fighter (below). Except it has but the one barrel...

The otter mounts he mentioned sound nice, but I think I'd like this one mounted as I mentioned, with snail shells, as if eating. Something about that vision just sticks in my head. I'll try to get pics, before and after, if not during, the process.

That otter satisfy everyone's curiosity...

On the otter hand you could have him maybe playing pool with some Gophers?

Something like this maybe?

Yeah, how you knew in advance, I'll never figure out, but that's the painting I meant! Can you not just SEE that on his wall?

You otter be ashamed of yourself...I'll bet you have a painting on your wall - dogs playing poker - on black velvet...

I agree with you about 'kill 'em all' Victorians and Edwardians, but I can't help thinking you may havewitnessed a disturbing TV event.

Now don't be upset Del.......

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qnTmvQNWqX8

There was a similar one on TV where my Bro' appeared to offer an 'Expert opinion'... may even have been that show. He also appeared on a Clive Anderson show discussing the possibility of mounting a human...some guy wanted to be 'stuffed' on his death.
My Brother thought Anderson was a right pratt as he was only interested in getting a laugh...(well what a surprise)

Now you have me thinking. Somewhere, one of my books of strange stuff has a piece about coating dead bodies in metal. Really weird, but probably no stranger than other assorted embalming/mummifying processes.

Let me do some searching and get back to you - there's some guy putting human bodies on display post-mortem in a somewhat morbidly artistic manner...

Here it is - http://archives.cnn.com/2002/WORLD/europe/08/12/uk.body/index.html

Do a search on 'corpse art' and see how many hits ya gets - this touring exhibition is wild and wooly!

Oddly enough, even I remember that bit of schtick. However, I think Del may have overplayed his hand (so to speak) in complaining about the card-playing squirrels - after all, even squirrels are entitled to some entertainment!

Dead is dead. The people that annoy me are the ones that dress living animals like people. Some trollop does it with a squirrel, and PG Tips have only just stopped dressing up chimps. In most countries you don't have to look far to see that kind of thing. Plenty of 'celebs' like to carry around a designer-mutt. It's slightly weird having a pet stuffed - nobody would want to do it with their aged granny (I think !). Imagine the grief if it wasn't done right.

Oow, but I wike to dwess my poochie woochie in his ikle wikle coat ...
Shoot the bastards.

Wot ? Shoot the dogs ? Yeah...to use an old maxim, it's beter safe than sorry !

What, waste a perfectly good bullet?!? Hang 'em - rope can be re-used...

But as you said, dead is dead - I doubt Granny would mind... Some people are such bloody stuffed full of themselves showoffs, they'd probably relish the concept!

To become a Granny, I somehow feel she had already been "stuffed", if you get my meaning..... Probably NOT a good idea to display her though!!!

PMSL

If I put a dead otter in the freezer, I'd end up so dead. Even if it was a dedicated beer fridge. Did you ever watch Fawlty Towers and notice how the hotel sign letters kept changing on the intro. One time, 'Fawlty Towers' became 'Farty Towels', and another time they bent the rules a bit and had 'Flat Otters'. So just how bad was it mangulated ? I'm guessing there must be enough left to reconstruct. One of our TV chefs, Hugh Fernley-Whitingstall (I jest not !), is well known for eating road-kill and wouldn't have hesitated to make a casserole out of the innards. euchhh.

You must post some pictures if you get to stuffing the thing. I really, really, badly need to see pictures of you mounting an otter. Words cannot describe what I'm seeing in my head right now. It doesn't exactly fit into the DIY blog (I think), but it would make a really interesting read. Honest ! I know nothing of Taxidermy.

It was damaged only enough to render it dead. Were it mangled badly, I'd give it a proper burial, but it's in good enough condition to preserve it's natural beauty. This is not in the nature of a trophy, think more of a display.

Years ago, I knew a guy who had a stuffed platypus. I never asked where it came from, but it was clearly ancient and more than a bit 'worn'. It was probably killed to be turned into an exhibit (long ago), but I don't think there's anything unethical in somebody keeping the thing. Kenya has burned lots of ivory that was poached, and that has a logic to it - silly carvings can get traded anonymous of origin, so 'using' it would perpetuate trade. On TV recently I saw an antique dealer explaining how it was illegal to import tortoise-shell products, because the creatures in question were endangered. However, he added that live ones could be imported, and when they 'expired', the shell could be used to make ornaments. Now that's a nasty/murky pool. It's hard to regulate taxidermy and trade in animal bits when the cause of death can't be established. Even harder to moralize on for shoe-wearing carnivores like me.

The nasty murky pool you mentioned would likely BE the cause (or at least place) of death for those sea turtles. Gonna need a LOT of rope! I can see a certain logic in burning the ivory, but some of the nations where it has been confiscated could certainly use a financial lift, so that's an ethics issue I'd debate (elsewhere and elsewhen, though!). Oh, by the way, live platypusses come from OZ, so I suspect that stuffed one did too...

OBTW - EnviroMrs is already well aware of the roadkill gopher tortoise in the same freezer, and is 'tolerant' (which is NOT to say pleased) of the situation. She refuses to open the freezer except when absolutely necessary, and then averts her gaze as much as possible. I doubt she'd overlook an entire otter, however. The tortoise is an endangered species, so will not be put on display (no ethical taxidermist would risk it). Besides, it's too damaged for that, and I did promise its spirit a proper internment.

I'd agree about not putting the tortoise on display like some sort of Coney Island souvenir, but surely it can serve some kind of educational purpose ?

Yes, but the shell is rather badly damaged (rear 1/3 crushed) and the endangered status makes having even an obviously road-killed specimen rather dodgy. The fine for so much as handling a live one starts at about $5K US (£???), so I'd as soon not risk it. The shame of it is, this one was apparently over 35 years old, and from the blood spatter, had but 6 inches to go to be off the road. That driver...well I won't go into what I'd do here, suffice to say, s/he would have a worse appearance than the tortoise had I got onto them.

My mind is working overtime, please do not continue further in this vein or else I may be construed to explain......

I just want to fully explore EnviroMans frozen stash.

Yeah, but don't accept any meat pies from him!

They'd probably result in real bad constipation.

Can I do the Chicken Tarka joke yet?

Only if you eat your Mijistrone soup.

Sweeney Todd I'm not! He wants to feast in another way entirely, I fear. I quite understand. I used to be into sadism, necrophilia, and beastiality myself. Then I realized I was just beating a dead horse...

Now that's got to be the best observed yet...

You are sufficiently disturbed to meet CR4 requirements ! People probaly brick-it at the mere sound of your footsteps, though I doubt in yellow.

RAOFPMSL----DNSMS

You cheatled !

....and I'm gonna tell mervin.....

Sorry old chap you've lost me now...I've left my KrisDel^TM Garbage Interpreter in the Lab'.

You've blown your chances with Carol Vorderman then.

Sir K.

The scary thing is....people seem to think I'm normal <evil grin as I make a mental note of your approximate mass and determine if I have enough lye in the shed...>

Beware the 'Hydra-effect' ;

OBTW - Happy Anniversary (44 years today) Radio Caroline!!!

Wiki missed it ! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cZ8xM83fMhU

So I'm better than Wiki, so what else is new?!? Hey, those kids singing the Buddy Holley tune are pretty good! Who are they, anyway? A couple of 'em sorta look familiar - are their dads musicians too?

Well, I'll get back to y'all later (maybe tomorrow, more likely Monday), right now, I'm off to Burke's Irish Pub for my weekly medicinal dose of...

PMSL !

You NEED these...and here's a link to print yourself some money-saving coupons! How much savings? Depends...

http://www.depend.com/offers/coupon.asp

Now that's just plain scarey, especially the ones with hold-em-up handles !

Handles?!? That's part of the waistband. I guess you could hold onto 'em by that if you wanted to, though...'depends' on who's wearin' 'em!

I take it back, they look more like shoulder-straps for Waltons to wear under dungarees.

But they're called 'belted shields', not 'suspendered shields', so how's that supposed to work? You been nipping at the cooking sherry again? Or just an...

I retract again, they're handy absorbent hats with ear-straps. I'm so arrogant I'll use them for what I want. Did you know that Ray Mears uses tampons ? It's true......good for starting fires ! Am I alone in my fascination with anything sanitary ? Life was dull until I observed the strange squidginess of nappies that contain gel. At one time they tried to re-introduce old style 'terry' nappies over here, but eventually realized that nobody wanted to save the planet that badly. There's an awful lot of topics that are ripe for discussion, especially in relation to waste and so called 'green' issues, but we all get conditioned to being averse to discussing bodily functions of an 'intimate' nature. For instance, look around 'green' websites and you won't find much mention of tampons that come with plastic applicators. A friend left a bunch of these on the kitchen table (don't ask) when sorting her handbag, and I was intrigued by the waste and 'was it really necessary'. My investigations were not a complete waste, as the cat had a merry time playing with the remains.

Used Tampons, Vampiritic Teabags...I can't tell the difference.

I guess... Just not to fun to wall into y our mother in laws bathroom and see one of those sitting in side of the toilet bowl... No vampiric anything there. No how, no way just plain ...

oh, yeah, thought about mentioning this but every time I see your tagline, I have this little niggling voice asking me if I'm getting enough fiber.

Damn it, I only just noticed my stelling. See, I'm flushed with embarassment. Now I'm going to have to go freshen up.

Stop messing with my toy mice

Just don't drink anything - you'll explode ! The dog ate the launch module as well.

Here, play with this one, and enjoy life!

Well, there's 'green' nappies, and then there's 'brownish-yellow' nappies, and I know which ones I'd prefer to deal with... So Del plays with tampon applicators, huh? The things you learn by accident!

I'm sure they could be used as components for a trebuchet. There's probably bits that could be used for wheel bearings on a tank, not that anyone remembers. Huh, huh ? Oh why, why, why do I cast my pearls of wisdom and nostalgic trivia..... To heck with your batteries and tazzies..........one day a cotton reel will teach you what for.....<sob>.....<snifflle>.............all i wanted..........a 'lastic band......sni_vle...._....gits.............

Buck up laddie! Remember, keep a stiff UPPER lip, not the lower one. Here, here, get a grip. Preferably on this...

^{Immm....azz...righ}..t...now...z_....zzzzzzzz