Mr Gee,

Thanks for that. I laughed my socks off. Then, of course, my wife made me pick them up and put them in the laundry.

I like it. Here's another

Two engineering students were walking across a university campus when

one said, "Where did you get such a great bike?"

The second engineer replied, "Well, I was walking along yesterday,

minding my own business, when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike,

threw it to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, "Take what

you want."

The second engineer nodded approvingly and said, "Good choice, the

clothes probably wouldn't have fit you anyway."

Al

Mr. Gee,

From most accounts, Hell has a pretty corrosive atmosphere. And where is the extracted heat dumped? Please provide specifics on the methods and materials used in the air conditioning system. Also, escalators are an energy-inefficient method of transporting people. Please consider that wait time on a car is not a factor, given the occupants have eternity. An intellegent elevator system would be a much greener solution.

Bolton Alan,

In your first sentence you postulate:

Two engineering students were walking across a university campus when

one said, "Where did you get such a great bike?"

As both students were walking, why was the 2nd student pushing the bike? Pushing a bike exerts unnecessary effort. Possibly the bike was damaged as it was thrown to the ground? This seems central to the story. Please elaborate.

Dear Guest,

It is quite understandable why you would post anonymously for your post. Who would want the whole CR4 community to know what a prick you have been about something that clearly states it is humour.

As to your reference to my joke, if I was with a friend and he wasn't on a bicycle then I would get off and push rather than have them run along to keep up. Its just common courtesy!

My suggestion to you is to get a life and learn to have a laugh from time to time

Al

hehehehe, i think the guest posted that in good humour. it seems to ridiculous to be serious. Gotta love that dry humour

Mr. Bolton,

Your point is well taken and, as you eloquently demonstrated such an expertise in courteous behaviors, I humbly bow to your judgement in these matters.

However, if as you state the 2nd student was indeed a very courteous individual, why did he not politely offer that poor naked woman at least a token payment for her bicycle? Granted, as a student he may have been low on funds. Perhaps he could have worked something out in trade? Possibly he could have offered to improvise her a clothes rack?

But more importantly, he should have considered her unusual actions as a possible sign of a mental disturbance. Perhaps this is the reason he accepted the bicycle? To more quickly ride to summon help? If so, then he shows wisdom and the ability to think quickly. Do you have this student's contact info? I may consider recommending him for possible future employment.

I thought the response by Guest was very funny - typical of how an engineer might look at a situation.

Looks like you got out of the wrong side of the bed this morning.

Dear Guest

Where have you been "And where is the extracted heat dumped? " Haven't you heard of Global Warming.

MY GOODNESS! THAT'S IT!!!! Now we know why the earth is heating up.

I'm for sending a Rescue Team down to hell and get that engineer back! Unfortunately we'd have to have them kill each other to get there. At least if we want to do it right

The student was pushing the bike because the beatiful woman had much longer legs than engineers have and as he was late for a lecture he hadn't had time to lower the saddle to be able to reach the pedals. The bicycle didn't have lights and cycling in the campus after dark was forbidden. Anyway, the student had just learnt about health and safety, didn't have a crash helmet and wanted to check the bike over first to ensure it was safe to ride.

The engineer student is not good at understanding instructions.

The girl said take what you want, all items have engineering value.

The clothes could be used as cloths for cleaning the oil of mechanical engines

The lady itself has uses as getting coffee while the engineer is busy or wash his socks

The bike is the least useful as an engineer always overworks eats bad food and is stressful, his changes of cardiac arrest while over exerting himself on the bike are quite high.

About the engineer in hell;

Satan off course did not tell god about all the ingenious torture devices the engineer can cook up!

So a lawyer, a doctor, and an engineer are all playing a round of golf with the clubhouse owner. Their having a good time, but notice that the people ahead of them are going real slow and not hitting the ball very well. The three of them turn to the clubhouse owner and inquire about the group ahead of them. The clubhouse owner replies saying "That they were firemen who helped out when the clubhouse was on fire, and lost their sight during the incident. And we allow them to play golf for free."

The lawyer says, "Hey, give them my card, I always love to help out the unfortunate."

The doctor says, "Give them my card, I would love to perform experimental surgery on them to regain their sight."

The engineer says, "Why can't they play at night?"

How about this?

Hello Shadetree,

your post is farty farty good!..............Sorry

babybear

This forum should be permanent. I am energised.

Hi, chandu krishnamurthi!

I agree. It's fun, relaxing, and energizing. And I've suggested it before. Try this blog set for some more engineering humour:

http://cr4.globalspec.com/thread/12963#newcomments

Mark

Ok, here's another one...

A Frenchman, an Englishman, and an engineer were touring France back in the old times. They got in trouble with the law and were sentenced to death by the Guillotine.

The Frenchman was asked if he had any last words. "Viva la France". The machine jammed with the blade inches from his neck. As was the law, they set the prisoner free if the machine malfunctioned.

The Englishman was asked if he had any last words. "Long live the King". The machine jammed again, and he was let go.

The Engineer was asked if he had any last words. "I think I see why the rope is coming off the pulley".

3 engineers are standing at the urinals in the mens room. They do thier business and go to wash up. The first engineer grabs a dozen paper towels to dry his hands and says "I work for <insert company name here>, where we believe in being thorough". The second engineer grabs only one paper towel and says "I work for <insert another company name> where we belive in being efficient". The third engineer grabs no paper towels and says "I work for <insert yet another company name>: We don't piss on our hands"

Avery Montembeault

Good one!!!!!!!!!!!

Three men: a project manager, a software engineer, and a hardware engineer are in Ft. Lauderdale for a two-week period helping out on a project.

About midweek they decide to walk up and down the beach during their lunch hour. Halfway up the beach, they stumbled upon a lamp. As they rub the lamp a genie appears and says "Normally I would grant you 3 wishes, but since there are 3 of you, I will grant you each one wish."

The hardware engineer went first. "I would like to spend the rest of my life living in a huge house in St. Thomas, with no money worries and surrounded by beautiful women who worship me." The genie granted him his wish and sent him on off to St. Thomas.

The software engineer went next. "I would like to spend the rest of my life living on a huge yacht cruising the Mediterranean, with no money worries and surrounded by beautiful women who worship me." The genie granted him his wish and sent him off to the Mediterranean.

Last, but not least, it was the project manager's turn. "And what would your wish be?" asked the genie.

"I want them both back after lunch" replied the project manager

Double J B

Yes, project managers are known for "penny pinching--being tight--and frugal".

I heard of one who had his legs crushed while inspecting a construction site.

While waiting on his X ray results the doctor finally came to his bed and told him his legs had to be amputated. The doctor said he was aware of the terrible future the manager would have to face.

The project manager replied " It's not all that bad--the gentelman down the hall wants to purchase my cowbow boots."

Moral of the story let your boss/manager go first!

Hello venkat:

nice one, that is really funny..........And typical!

You couldn't tell me the island can you? I am looking for a beautiful woman.

stay safe

babybear