Time for a New Buzz Word

Hello BruceFlorida

<"....We trained hard . . . but it seemed that every time we were beginning to form up into teams we would be reorganized. I was to learn later in life that we tend to meet any new situation by reorganizing; and a wonderful method it can be for creating the illusion of progress while producing confusion, inefficiency, and demoralization.

Petronius Arbiter, 210 B.C.....">

So that "Quotation" above may or may not be correctly attributed to Petronius Arbiter, but it seems to have been valid for many thousands of years.

Kind Regards....

Curate: As in the museum world, to create an exhibition of products and services that woo a distinct community of users. Think Ikea, Starbucks, iPod, TiVo.

Heuristics: This is from the quote "businesspeople will have to become more masters of heuristics than managers of algorithms," coined by Roger Martin, dean of the Rotman School of Management at the University of Toronto. Translation: Managers must be flexible problem-solvers and innovators, not process-oriented numbers crunchers.

Thoughtless Acts: Things people do unconsciously that adapt everyday things to different purposes, such as putting Post-its around your PC screen. Observing such thoughtless acts gives designers ideas and suggests new opportunities to meet consumers' unmet needs.

Storytelling: The art of creating a compelling narrative for your product and brand that connects emotionally with your customers. Think Pixar.

Customer Journey: The way customers interract with your product long before and long after they buy it. Their journey involves ads and branding, multiple platforms such as Web sites and stores, actual buying, unwrapping, setting up and using, gossip about the product within social networks, service, and finally repurchase and upgrading. To get a better customer experience, plot out a map of the entire customer journey.

Social Network Mapping: Delineation of the web of ties within collaborative and social networks. The quantity and quality of these interactions are then mapped. Shaping these relationships within networks can make everything from dating to teamwork more effective.

Ethnography: Observing the consumer in the wild, hunting and gathering. Cultural anthropology has shifted from the headhunters of Borneo to the teen buyers of suburbia, involving a key corporate competence.

Informed Intuition: The hunch is back. Six Sigma and financial analysis knocked out experience and intuition as accepted managerial tools. Now, thanks to the increasing emphasis on design and nonlinear thinking, they're back as critical ingredients in innovation and creativity. Blink, and act on it.

Prehistoric Text: An old text message. Given the speed with which things change today, it could be a text message that you received only last week.

Maternal Profiling: A form of discrimination. Generally occurs when the boss is making decisions about promotions or new job assignments and factors in whether a woman has children or might possibly have a child sometime in the near future.

Harsh My Mellow: To spoil a good mood or disturb your tranquility. "I was enjoying a quiet afternoon on the beach, when someone's barking dog harshed my mellow."

Staycation: A stay-at-home vacation. Thanks to high gas prices and the sluggish economy, that's all most of us can afford.

Crib Crasher: Someone who shows up at your front door unannounced.

Digital Native: A person who has never lived in a world without computers, cell phones, iPods, etc.

Nanomanagers: Bosses who have taken micromanaging to a whole new level of nitpicking.

PowerPoint Singalong: A presentation read verbatim from the slides without observations, notes, comments or asides of any kind. Monotone optional, but not required.

Jingle Mail: To simply mail your house keys back to the bank because the mortgage is worth more than the house itself. (Pssst: The keys "jingle" in the otherwise empty envelope.)

Truck Factor: The number of people on your team who have to be hit by a truck before the project is in serious trouble.

Flight Insurance: Incentives given to key employees to keep them from jumping ship, particularly when the company is being sold to someone employees might not be thrilled to work for.

Electile Dysfunction: The inability to become excited about any of the candidates for president.

Airball: The corporate version of a cat hairball. Someone who makes lots of noise, disrupts everything, has the potential to make a big mess - but ultimately does nothing.

COR: The latest C-level title - Chief Obstacle Remover.

Friendquest: Requesting someone to be a friend and or buddy on an online social network.

Casual Carpooling: Commuting to work by hitchhiking with drivers who need a third person to qualify for the HOV (High Occupancy Vehicle) lanes.

Blamestorming: A group process where participants analyze a failed project and look for scapegoats other than themselves.

Death by Tweakage: When a product or project fails due to unnecessary tinkering or too many last-minute revisions.

BMWs: Bitchers, Moaners and Whiners.

Clockroaches: Employees who spend most of their day watching the clock - instead of doing their jobs

Plutoed: To be unceremoniously dumped or relegated to a lower position without an adequate reason or explanation.

Prairie Dogging: A modern office phenomenon. Occurs when workers simultaneously pop their heads up out of their cubicles to see what's going on.

Carbon-Based Error: Error caused by a human, not a computer (which we assume would be a silicon-based error).

Menoporsche: Male menopause. Symptoms include a sudden lack of energy, crankiness and the overpowering urge to buy a Porsche.

Adminisphere: The upper levels of management where big, impractical, and counterproductive decisions are made.

Deja Poo: The feeling that you've stepped in this bull before.

Bobbleheading: The mass nod of agreement by participants in a meeting to comments made by the boss even though most have no idea what he/she just said.

Ringtone Rage: The violent response by cube mates after hearing your annoying cell phone ringtone for the 15th time.

Muffin Top: The unsightly roll of flesh that spills over the waist of a pair of too-tight 'tards.

Leveraging Our Assets: The ultimate DUH in business. Every company attempts to leverage its assets. It only makes sense that companies put their resources, whether it's money, location or talent, to best use in order to make a profit?

Mission-Critical: Another sign that too many people in today's business world have read too many Tom Clancy books. What's wrong with the word "essential"?

Conversate: To have a conversation. Created by those who (for some bizarre reason) don't think "converse" or "talk" are adequate.

Information Touchpoint: Any contact in which information is shared or transferred. Yes, meetings are information touchpoints.

Synopsize: To condense the details of a boring, two-hour meeting into a briefer - yet still as boring - version.

Electronify: The process of turning paper-based data into electronic or digital form.

Price-Optimized: Something sold as cheap as possible, particularly a stripped-down version of a previously successful, but expensive product. However, the price-optimized version is likely to have more flash and less substance.

Targeted Completion Date: A comforting term that gives the impression a project will be finished by a certain date (but everyone involved knows there's no chance in hell of it happening).

Surgerize: To have surgery. "Her face had been surgerized."

Relanguage: Term used by $300-an-hour consultants when $1 words, such as reword, rephrase or rewrite, would work just as well. "I think we can relanguage that to be more effective."

Computerate: Computer literate. To understand how a computer works. "Are you computerate? Or do you need me to do it for you?"

Critical Path: A list of tasks necessary to complete a project. In project management, it's the ultimate alibi. If there's even one delay in the "critical path," the project will not be completed on time. A manager's failure to recognize more than one alternative path is a failure to adapt and the clear sign of a blinkered mind. Probably an MBA. There is always more than one Critical Path. It takes Imagination and Creativity to discover alternatives.

Professional Learning Community: A school faculty. Usually a Liberal Arts school faculty. You want fries with that?

Resourcing: Asking for help. Bog help us all.