Finding a good excuse.

Just hang up on them. If that's a little too rude for you, you can say, "NO THANKS", and just hang up on them.

The effect is much better if you do it just after they identify themselves.

Eventually, they will get tired of getting hung up on. It will take some perseverance on your part though.

Vulcan is right. YOU dont need an excuse, JUST HANG UP! James

It is rude to be rude.

I actually hang up most of the times unless I am in a mischievous mood.

I am looking for funny to absurd ideas?

Ask them if their facility has space for your Iron Lung.

solicitor; Hello sir, we would like to invite you to the newest resort community in Uzbeckistan.

you; Tell me more!

solicitor; Well we would like to have you come out and see it for yourself.

you; Well I have a slight problem.

solicitor; I am sure we can over come this problem. What is the problem?

you; you see I have an Iron Lung, and I require a reliable source of electricity. somthing on the order of 4/40 3 phase.

solicitor; Im not sure, Cut him off

you; You are Americans with Disabilities Act compliant right.

solicitor; ummmmm??

you; I will also need a door entrance 9 feet wide, and 8 feet tall in my bedroom at the resort, do you have a door like that at your facility?

solicitor; errrr?? wha??

you; I will also need to travel by 18 wheeler, do you have parking facilities for the 18 wheeler, and my support vehicles?

If they haven't freaked by now, tell them it's time for your evening mucous suctioning, but that they can go right ahead and tell you all about the resort. Then you make weird gurgling sounds while running your vaccum cleaner. Trust me they won't stay on the line very long.

Cold callers often start by saying..

'Im sorry to disturb you..'

I just cut in and say 'No you are not, else you wouldn't have called' and hang up.

Or I get them off script really quickly...this flummoxes them...

'Is this a cold call?'

'Errr'

'Get to the point, what are you selling? My time is too valuable to listen to waffle...'

I love being a bit silly too even with genuine callers at work, when they ask..

'Can I take your name?'

I'll say...

'No I'll need it later myself...!'

Just proceed by asking them a few (random and creative) security questions. If they can't answer one, or any of them, say, "I'm sorry. You've failed to obtain security clearance and I cannot continue with this call. You need to write to the address you have on file. Goodbye." The hang up.

Works every time.

My 'phone number isn't listed, so I usually demand to know how they got my number. My next favorite is 'Sorry, I've got so much money I really can't be bothered with any penny anti scheme such as this.'

Just hang up the phone. That usually works pretty well.

Either simply hang up, as others have suggested or have a little fun with them. In the U.S., there is a "do not call list" with which to threaten an unsolicited caller ("Whom do you represent again? Spell your name. Just want to make sure I get it right when I report this call.").

Another, "Can't talk now but if you'll give me your name and number, I'll return the call."

Following also usually gets an interesting reaction.

Hello.

Caller: Mr Smith?

No. This is Lieutenant Logan of the __________police department (stage whisper, "trace this call"). (To the caller) What is your name and what is your relationship with Mr. Smith? When did you last see him? Where are you calling from? Don't hang up, you are now officially involved in a homicide investigation.

And so on. The script can be tailored to the caller's responses and how much time you want to waste but the first sentence is usually sufficient to put the caller on the defensive and make them forget the purpose of the call.

Hehehehe. That's the best yet, I'll try that.......

Oh man! That's hillarious! That would be fun to do. Make him sweat for a change.

I pissed off one telemarketer once. He was trying to get me to agree to a cash advance on my credit card. He ranted on and on about what I can do with the money and then proceeded to ask for information (my full name, my birthday, my address, etc.).

I said, "Hold on. The bank told me that they would never get any of their employees to ask for such information since they already have it. You're not really from the bank, are you? I want your name buddy. I've got your number displayed on my phone. I'm going to report...". I usually hear the click before I get very far.

If the moment is right , you could go for a high-energy response. Upon hearing the word 'prize' launch into some ecstatic/frantic ranting about how it's the most fantastic news you've ever heard. Leave no room for interruption , especially about the nature of the prize , as you act like some demented contestant called to play on a TV game show. Fast changes in voice pitch and meaningless exclamations will keep your opponent off foot. Hopefully the call will occur when you are enjoying a braai and some beers so you can beckon your friends over. They'll soon pick up on whats happening , so you can proceed to pass the phone around your chums. Each in turn can play in turn to see how fast and hysterically they can thank the caller for your good fortune. Loud cheering and party sound in the background will add to the enjoyment of all. A reasonable crowd will allow for a beer between each go.

Kris (not logged in cos system disappeared !)

Rent When Harry Met Sally (unless you already own it) and make an audio recording of the famous scene in Katz' Deli where Sally (Meg Ryan) fakes an orgasm while sitting across from Harry (Billy Crystal). Leave the mp3 in plain view on your computer's desktop for such occasions.

Fight Club (Brad Pitt) also has a nice audio soundtrack for such occasions. Even better.

When your telemarketers call, start the file and crank it up. Then bang on your desk and shout near the mouthpiece, "HEY!!! SHADDUP IN THERE!!!" "GET A MOTEL!!!" "KEEP IT DOWN, BEE-ATCH, CAN'T YOU SEE I'M ON THE PHONE?!?" Etc. Etc. Sound distressed. Apologetically blurt that you'll call them back "WHEN THESE HO'S GIVE ME SOME FRIGGIN' PEACE AND QUIET!!!!" (shout it). Then abruptly hang up. Give 'em a real show.

If/when they call back, do it again.