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"Everyone remembers their first."
I've heard it many times and yes, I do: the total elation of
a reciprocated crush in your teenage years; two angst ridden teens looking for
something from nothing; the inevitable heartbreak when you realize he or she
wasn't quite who you thought they were. (And let's face it, they rarely are.)
I've also heard the myth that 90% of people in the U.S.
marry their high school sweetheart, which to me seems unreasonable. Turns out
that it is…
 ...via Ezquara
Romance is a considerably hard skill to learn and it becomes
refined with practice. Research suggests it begins as a baby, as the baby has a
considerable need for love and attention for survival. The baby literally
flirts his or her way into their parents graces with smiles, cooing and
impersonations (and as a new uncle, I can vow my brother needs a little flirting
after 3 hours of sleep at night). It continues through young childhood,
apparently through misplaced crushes and body experimentation, and later by schoolyard
teasing.
 How could I resist republishing this photo? ...via Soap Nights
Prepubescent males and females find gender groups to
identify with as they become increasingly aware of their sexuality. Within
their cliques, a lot of time is spent discussing the opposite sex: boys speak
sexually and girls speak romantically.
 Farrah ushered in puberty for a very groovy decade of young men...via Kitsch-Slapped
And then puberty hits and everything goes amuck. Social
groups become co-ed and teens begin to flirt experiment, and get moody and
awkward.
Once a romantic connection is managed, many times by notes
in class or a date to the school dance, the love between teenagers is intense
and without abandon. This human intimacy teaches teenagers about themselves by
trusting, sharing and caring with another human. Revealed though is that these
young affections are usually short lived; with many dating relationships at age
15 lasting just several months, it seems unlikely that an individual will find a
life partner on their first attempt.
So, how about we wrap this up thanks to the good people at
Snopes? Even a gritty romantic like myself knows that can't be true.
From Snopes:
It might have been true (or closer
to true) in the earlier era, when people tended to marry younger, when a larger
percentage of the population lived in rural areas and/or spent most their lives
close to their birthplaces, and when the opportunities for meeting and mingling
with members of the opposite sex after completion of high school were limited
by more rigid separation of the sexes in the areas of employment and
post-secondary education.
Snopes also breaks down a 2006 Harris Interactive survey,
and found that only 14% of American adults met their partner through "school,"
which broadly included colleges and universities. Furthermore, some adults believe that they
could have been a perfect match with their high school sweetheart if they had
only met just a few years later. That too seems unlikely, according to 2008
Time article that says "the only way to acquire the skills to conduct a
lifetime relationship is to practice on ones you may destroy in the process."
 Remarkably, Sarah and Todd Palin are high school sweethearts...via Frugal Cafe
I suppose that's true. Granted, there will always be
exceptions, but I also suppose if this were an "Ask Abby" (and this certainly
isn't) I'd be imparting my own wisdom now. So, here it is: relish your
childhood love, but leave them in your past. Don't date backwards.
Resources
Snopes - Sweethearts
TIME - Young Love
BBC - Your first love
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Re: Everyone Remembers Their First Love
