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Everyone Remembers Their First Love

Posted April 19, 2012 1:01 AM by HUSH

"Everyone remembers their first."

I've heard it many times and yes, I do: the total elation of a reciprocated crush in your teenage years; two angst ridden teens looking for something from nothing; the inevitable heartbreak when you realize he or she wasn't quite who you thought they were. (And let's face it, they rarely are.)

I've also heard the myth that 90% of people in the U.S. marry their high school sweetheart, which to me seems unreasonable. Turns out that it is…

...via Ezquara

Romance is a considerably hard skill to learn and it becomes refined with practice. Research suggests it begins as a baby, as the baby has a considerable need for love and attention for survival. The baby literally flirts his or her way into their parents graces with smiles, cooing and impersonations (and as a new uncle, I can vow my brother needs a little flirting after 3 hours of sleep at night). It continues through young childhood, apparently through misplaced crushes and body experimentation, and later by schoolyard teasing.

How could I resist republishing this photo? ...via Soap Nights

Prepubescent males and females find gender groups to identify with as they become increasingly aware of their sexuality. Within their cliques, a lot of time is spent discussing the opposite sex: boys speak sexually and girls speak romantically.

Farrah ushered in puberty for a very groovy decade of young men...via Kitsch-Slapped

And then puberty hits and everything goes amuck. Social groups become co-ed and teens begin to flirt experiment, and get moody and awkward.

Once a romantic connection is managed, many times by notes in class or a date to the school dance, the love between teenagers is intense and without abandon. This human intimacy teaches teenagers about themselves by trusting, sharing and caring with another human. Revealed though is that these young affections are usually short lived; with many dating relationships at age 15 lasting just several months, it seems unlikely that an individual will find a life partner on their first attempt.

So, how about we wrap this up thanks to the good people at Snopes? Even a gritty romantic like myself knows that can't be true.

From Snopes:

It might have been true (or closer to true) in the earlier era, when people tended to marry younger, when a larger percentage of the population lived in rural areas and/or spent most their lives close to their birthplaces, and when the opportunities for meeting and mingling with members of the opposite sex after completion of high school were limited by more rigid separation of the sexes in the areas of employment and post-secondary education.

Snopes also breaks down a 2006 Harris Interactive survey, and found that only 14% of American adults met their partner through "school," which broadly included colleges and universities. Furthermore, some adults believe that they could have been a perfect match with their high school sweetheart if they had only met just a few years later. That too seems unlikely, according to 2008 Time article that says "the only way to acquire the skills to conduct a lifetime relationship is to practice on ones you may destroy in the process."

Remarkably, Sarah and Todd Palin are high school sweethearts...via Frugal Cafe

I suppose that's true. Granted, there will always be exceptions, but I also suppose if this were an "Ask Abby" (and this certainly isn't) I'd be imparting my own wisdom now. So, here it is: relish your childhood love, but leave them in your past. Don't date backwards.


Resources

Snopes - Sweethearts

TIME - Young Love

BBC - Your first love

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#1

Re: Everyone Remembers Their First Love

04/19/2012 1:37 PM

"... leave them in your past. Don't date backwards."

Good point. People are often NOT as you remember them. What you liked before may not be so likeable now.

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#2

Re: Everyone Remembers Their First Love

04/20/2012 4:15 AM

"Was a hot afternoon

The last day of June

The sun was a demon..."

Do-be-do-be-do-be-dooooo.....

With apologies to Bobby Goldsboro.

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#3

Re: Everyone Remembers Their First Love

04/20/2012 8:18 AM

My first love was a Honda 150, CA95

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#4
In reply to #3

Re: Everyone Remembers Their First Love

04/23/2012 5:35 AM

Aw, that's so sweet!

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#5

Re: Everyone Remembers Their First Love

04/23/2012 4:28 PM

Just the other night a hometown football game

My wife and I ran into my old high school flame

And as I introduced them the past came back to me

And I couldn't help but think of the way things used to be

.

She was the one that I'd wanted for all time

And each night I'd spend prayin' that God would make her mine

And if he'd only grant me this wish I wished back then

I'd never ask for anything again

.

Sometimes I thank God for unanswered prayers

Remember when you're talkin' to the man upstairs

That just because he doesn't answer doesn't mean he don't care

Some of God's greatest gifts are unanswered prayers

.

She wasn't quite the angel that I remembered in my dreams

And I could tell that time had changed me - in her eyes too it seemed

We tried to talk about the old days - there wasn't much we could recall

I guess the Lord knows what he's doin' after all

.

And as she walked away and I looked at my wife

And then and there I thanked the good Lord

For the gifts in my life

Sometimes I thank God for unanswered prayers

.

Remember when you're talkin' to the man upstairs

That just because he may not answer doesn't mean he don't care

Some of God's greatest gifts are unanswered

Some of God's greatest gifts are all too often unanswered...

.

Some of God's greatest gifts are unanswered prayers

-Garth Brooks

According to Brooks, the song is based on a true story:

"Man, 'Unanswered Prayers' was a big part of my heart that went out on that record. A true life thing that happened to Sandy and myself. In October of '89, I saw my old high school flame. And I can say this now at the time I couldn't. For the first two years of my married life, I really thought the girl that was for me was still that girl that was in high school. And now man just the realization that what you have is the best for you, and the best you could ever do in your lifetime. It sure makes you sleep well at night."

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#6

Re: Everyone Remembers Their First Love

04/24/2012 4:27 PM

I went to an all boy's school. My first love was my first car; a 1952 MGTD. My second love came shortly after. Sigh! Them were the good old days.

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#7
In reply to #6

Re: Everyone Remembers Their First Love

04/24/2012 9:01 PM

Please don't say it was a Fiat.

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#8

Re: Everyone Remembers Their First Love

04/25/2012 6:26 AM

"Before you meet the handsome prince you've got to kiss a few toads..." - Anon.

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