Guruship

This is getting confusilating. Now I'll have to be 'good' to be 'bad' ! I wonder if the bull got out of a maze of a labarynth ? Oh, hang on, that was a minotaur so he maybe didn't have a cape.

Looks 'armless enough to me. Shouldn't have gone to Holby City for a manicure. I heard chewing yer finger-nails wasn't good, but that's ridiculous.

Looks pretty 'armless to me, too. Wonder if this is 'is daddy?

If this isn't 'is, then 'oo is? Sure is a resemblance though, if that's not a dissemblance. Post #1K was celebrated, please note changes.

Hey, you've gone all lupine ! Is it because I didn't notice your entrance to verbosity at 1000 ? What's the word for Squirrel-like ? 'Rodentine' doesn't sound right and it's too general. Just checked : sciurine. It doesn't exactly roll off the tongue.

It's a coyote - about whom more later.

True, sci-ur-ine doesn't roll trippingly off the tongue, tra-la, but when mispropouncinated, sounds hi-larry-us...

Sky urine - anything like a golden shower?

My bad. I don't think you're coy, but like me you are possibly barking mad !

I love the conservation status - Least Concerned!!!

We don't have any similar critters (unless the wolf re-introduction goes all wrong). It may seem odd (and is unrelated) but we have wild wallabies.Beever might start to proliferate as well. Lots of people go nuts over big-cat sightings.

"Lots of people go nuts over big-cat sightings."

Skwirrels would know all about going nuts, I suppose. Does this explain our own Del, by the way?

I'm not intimate enough with Del to know if he's a big cat. He certainly has some full-on feline traits though. As yet, I've not been able to decide upon a suitable animal spirit for vermin - he's sort of in a whole unique category !

I've always envisioned vermin as pretty much animated pocket lint... (No offense, vermin!) Also, I concur with English Rose that what we get is the black-and-white photo version of vermin, he (?) is actually blue in color. A nice denim blue.

No... Black and white is pretty much it.

By the way, who do you think lets the little miniature poodles out at night? And we likes a good coyote when we can gets one.

The problem is, we have no sense of scale with you vermin. You could be some sneaky bacteriophage size, or a huge big Prisoner sized in-yer-face spherical thing. The incessant hopping creates an air of urgency. My heart beat starts to synchronize whenever I see it.

Well, we are flexible.

That only covers scale if you get thinner or thinker, or are you a sort of Klein-vermin ? The possibility of a self replicating, entangled Mobius-vermin is too scary for words !

Think pocket lint - it IS self-replicating, but the process ain't at aaalllll scary! I'm thinking more in terms of a Zeit-vermin...future lint from Dr. Who's overcoat.

Hey, I recognize that picture ! It features on a beer web-page I linked once. Clicking on the coppers took you along a merry trail of beer fun.

Snatcherly - where'd you think I nicked it from, eh? Y'can't even leave a phone booth not fastened down around me, I'll have it up!

(Pirate...)

Yep, been there, stole that!

A man after my own heart ! If it ain't nailed down....well, finders keepers.

I like the way the birds keep sounding off after you click on a penny.

Here's some more test questions I nicked from a silly email, I have a independant circle of spam.

Is this what's meant by fuzzy logic

I'll leave you with an insperational message

Hello Garthh

In reference to your friendship plaque above:

I showed it to my friend Basil, from Fawlty Towers fame.

His response was: "Disgusting, simply disgusting".

Kind Regards....

Wow you know John Cleese!I guess dad is his best friend

The baby looks like it put up one heck of a fight !

MC Pythagoras says "I thank you from the heart of my bottom".

An' even if it IS nailed down, if I gots me a pry bar...

...gone in 60 seconds!

Mmm-mmm-mmm! Poodles make good snacks - and you can floss after! Good dental hygeine is SO important. And, heck, EVERYone loves a good coyote (when they can gets one). Coyotes is loveabble critters...

But somehow, I can't see vermin as anything but new denim blue - sort of an indigo, I guess.

Yes, they've adapted to cohabiting within cities so well that there's probably more of 'em now than in pre-Columbian times. There's a pack of 'em come howling about out our way just before sunrise at least one morning a week. If you've never heard them, it's amazing what they sound like. A pack of six, you'd swear there were at least fifty!

Ahh... barking mad - nicest thing said to me so far today! Thanks.

Always sounded 'British' to me, but glad to know Oklahoma had a place in the etymology of it all.

'tis indeed a complement. The sane are just a deluded majority. We must fight the good fight. People from Berking don't know it, but they are actually in 'Barking', and I've not noticed a high number of people reading in Reading.

I am willing to write a state song for Florida for 45¢, a ride on the back of an alligator, and Steve Irwin's corpse...

Bad taste? yes? No?

I want to have him smoked into jerky, and hang him from my rear-view mirror!!!

Hey, I'll pony up the 45 centavos, and I know where there's a 13-foot allimigater you could ride on for as far as you want (I'm betting it won't be far...). As to the jerky, it would probably taste bad, but bad taste is in the mouth of the beholder. How's the song start off?

Like this ?

WWSD What Would Squirel Do

One of the great mysteries solved

Advanced engineering techniques

Ah, yes - potential nominees for the next Darwin Award! More 'power' to 'em, sez I!

Yeah!!! Get one of your own!!!

We have Butlins.

Ah, yes - those wrathful grapes - I forget, are they the ones that DO or do NOT become the California Raisins?

No, they're the ones that go underground and become union workers for the ghost of César Chávez.

Underground wrathful grapes.

Some kind of mud bath medical treatment?Or maybe the grapes of cat

Del has achieved a sort of fame I see... People having him tattooed on their bellies is a mark, perhaps of di-stink-tion!

PMSL !

well, what are the rules for this contest, if there are any? Here's another entry

& it Was probably been performed in this century.

I'm not sure child hood recollections count as research? I hope this wasn't some one you knew!

You win ! Or at leats I submit - that song sounds like Neil Young meets an 'ol okie from Muscogie. Granny is priceless, it looks like she's en route to the kitchen ! "Alas poor Del, I stew him".

By way of irony, Florida will reward you.

More of the good citizens of the sunshine state @ play

They must put something in all that OJ !

Vodka, mate! In the orange juice, it's a screwdriver. In the Milk of Magnesia, it becomes a Philips screwdriver...

Hence the title of the FORMER state song, "The Old Folks At Home" (aka "Suwanee River")! Ah, those old folks - gotta love 'em!

Looks like we have another winner.

Rules? We don't need no steenking rules!

And I personally am not acquainted with any opossums, deceased or otherwise.

However, Jeremiah here is a good friend of mine...

I never understood a single word !

Me neither, but I helped him drink his...

Yeah, he always had some mighty fine wine.

I'm not sure where you keep getting these pictures, but dang!!!

I don't know who's got who. It looks like granny is being mind controlled by the raccoon, and it's out for its supper!!!

The pics were part of a jokey email [see new title]

Which (out of them all) is the most hideous state to live in ?

That would be a matter of opinion.

Why is it so windy in New Mexico?

Because Texas Sucks!

Montana where men are men & sheep are nervous

There's probably something similar for every state.

I remember stopping in oklahoma for gas when I was moving to california from new orleans. A gentleman rode up on his bicycle. Now this guy appeared to be of limited mental facilties. In a heavy drawl he asked

Whhere yoou gowin?

California

Theys crazy in caleeforna haa haa

& rode off cackling.

Hideous is in the eye of the beholder

I like the Texas one, it has adaptibility. Reminds me of the joke about the guy visiting Anywherevill. He says "This place is the ***-hole of the world", to which the local replies "So you're just passing through then ?".

I've discovered why he wouldn't travel - this could not have happened in his native village!

soooo funny

http://glumbert.com/wii/view.php?name=baddayoffice

"AND THEIR GOVERNER IS THE BROTHER OF THE PRESIDENT!!! Wow!"

Wow! is right, the news hasn't yet made it to the Left Coast that said EX-Governor was replaced last year by Charlie Crist. Or maybe it just hasn't penetrated the layers of brown and yellow smog that take the place of sunshine there. Hmmm...

Now the part about retired New Yorkers and those who prey upon them - well, that's all true of course. But we do have a few locals fit to be seen in a bathing suit.

OK, since you asked for it - California is known (because of it's residents) as the Granola State - what ain't fruits and nuts is flakes. Florida is either the Sunshine State (official) or the Citrus State (unofficial). And yes, Arizona (the Grand Canyon State [official] or Land of No Rain [unofficial]) will be celebrating their statehood centennial in a few years. Woo-hoo for them!

Cal gets listed as the 'Grape State' as well. That might cause Brits to giggle, since 'grapes' is a euphemism for haemorrhoids ! It does nicely link Florida to California.

With Arizona, I was thinking of valentines day (they joined the Union or something).

So there are no songs that mention Florida ?.... I just went digging and can't find any with 'Florida' in the title. Now I have a mission, there's got to be at least one out there.

Well, at least you have something to do with yourself today. Hope it keeps you out of mischief for awhile...

But JJ, It was so close and you just diluted your K-ranking (well, I was the first to implement it I think). vermin making just 1 more post might have tipped the balance. Wait for the fat lady to sing . I could be bribed to give you a point (or take one off vermin) ! Do you have a bigger slush fund than vermin ? In practical terms we have a 'hung jury' , which is troubling since I'm the only one sitting on it. I did pray to God asking to be well hung, but this wasn't quite what I had in mind.

Will you settle for well-hanged? Just wondering...

There appear to be two. How will I be hung ?

One for the left, one for the right. Don't tell me you have THREE?!?

I've never heard of a supernumery one, have you ?

Hmm, it appears to occur.

Well, as Uncle Murphy said, anything that can happen, will. Gonna start a 'what I ate for supper' thread then?

That's one of my favourite truisms. JohnDG has taken the Helm, my good fellow.

Thermidor....slurp...slobber..drool. Who cares that it's only January. Not me, it tastes good any time !

Hahahahahahahhaaahahahahahhaaaaa!

Gotta catch my breath.

Just stay in the jury room for awhile you nutty devil.

I'm hoping for an urgent telegram ! If it doesn't arrive, I shall request death by firing squad - with them all stood in a circle around me. < groan, it's an oldie, but still amuses me>. Safety morphing will occur soon......

No, but if you want a pony, you have to promise to take care of it, or I'll have it back...

Sadly 'No'. Not even a Monkey.

Oh, so ya wants a monkey, does ya?

How dat? Fewer pounds than you probably expected, tho'...

Thanks. Now that we've completely ruined the value of the dollar here in the colonies, we may want to go back to pounds.

Or pony up the Fed rate, eh?

And, would you then claim Bernancke is a horse of a different color from Greenspan?

Well, why didn't you say so? Now that's a horse of a different color!

Depends on which end you start from, I suppose. With Greenspan gone, we're off to see a different wizard - a wizard of a different color, as well!

Gee, that's definitely an oddity. Of course, you DO have 17 "Good Answers" to soothe the sting...

Must be - I refuse to believe CR4 would take national origin into account other than the time zone. Speaking of national origins, is not the diveristy represented here absolutely (and wonderfully) amazing?!? And more efficient than most politically or otherwise motivated international combines...or so it seems to me...

"Hell no! They're taking our jobs!!!'

YOU have a job, vermin?!? Apart of course from being pocket lint, and how can that be outsourced???

They'll teach someone in another country how to be a pain-in-the-ass!!!

You must be a specialist

Back Pocket Lint

Iz thinks I smells me a communist...

Now what'd I do wit them explosives?

I think you left them in the toy box

& a video that looks a lot like a video game, http://www.break.com/index/insane-motorcycle-rider-dash-cam-footage.html

You missed a few,

Kind Regards....

I presume these most excellent translations are in preparation for the upcoming Olympics in Beijing...

Just in case you can't find your dynamite...

I'm happy to loan you some...

Cool! I snagged it!!!

"...how to be a pain-in-the-ass!!!..."

Maybe so, but nobody will ever fill your...well, OK, maybe you haven't shoes since you seem to lack feets, but it's only a figure of speech anyway. But, hey, professional burr under the saddle blanket is one heck of a good career move in any language! Causes maximum...