Time Travelling

Well, I'm going to undercut him. Nice cheap price.

Anything to earn some beer money and some ciggies.....<Cough, splutter>

Hogwash!

Everyone knows that time travel involves a starship slingshotting around a star at Warp 10.

Yes, that technique has been employed several times, hasn't it...

Tomorrow is Yesterday, Assignment Earth, and even in The Voyage Home.

Yes, it's proven technology!

Time travel??..... hmmmm that's Soooooo last week!

I can travel in time easily whenever I want.... just adjust the hands on my wristwatch and I'm there!!

John.

I'm experencing time travel now... wait for it, wait for it, there, see, I'm not 20 sec. into the future...

Proven or not, everyone knows it's still an extremely risky way of time travel. Didn't Mr. Scott warn Adm. Kirk that he's not sure if the Klingon Bird-of-Prey's structure can hold together when Kirk wanted to go back to late 20^th-Century Earth to recover George and Gracie the humpback whales? And even though the ship remained intact, they still damage the dilithium crystal drive badly too. But on the other hand, it's the only way that works.

Don't buy IT the device is useless. If you go to the past you can't change anything, it's already happened, the quantum probability wave has already been collapsed. If you go to the future, witnessed something, you collapse the probability wave, and freeze the future in that state.

I know I've been there, haven't been able to win the lotto in the future or the past. Time travel just cost money. Dilithium crystals are cheap. You can't imagine the damage done to drum brakes, decelerating almost 2 metric tons from warp 10.

Thanks for the concern and advice, but don't worry, I'll never buy this crap. For one thing, you're supposed to place the coil around your head before turning it on i.e. send electromagnetic waves through your brain. I have better things to do than fry my brain because I like it just fine the way it is: it's logical and is good for analyzing and solving problems. Hey, maybe that's how this thing really works: after irradiating your brain with electromagnetic waves, you end up delusional enough to think you traveled through time.

"...after irradiating your brain with electromagnetic waves..."

Of course that's how it works. Probably cuts down on returns, too. Live through it and try to remember where you got it. Maybe one, but not likely both... I prefer the professional model myself:

You wouldn't happen to have bought it from the KrisDel^TM catalog now, would you?

Nope - that's the Time Lords Model 3.5 (UK version). KrisDel™ hasn't their franchise...

No, no. That's not how it works. If you read the text again, you'll notice that it says "out of body".

What really happens is that the device will fry your brain and kill you. Then your spirit will leave your body and you're transported to the future.

According to Christianity, when the end of the world comes (in the future), everyone will be in the presence of the Lord awaiting judgement. All this device does is give you a head start.

Like he said - delusional...

Time travel into the future is easy, just stick around, we'll get there in a nanosecond...there, see! And there, and there, and... It's travel into the past that gets sticky.

"According to Christianity, when the end of the world comes (in the future), everyone will be in the presence of the Lord awaiting judgement. All this device does is give you a head start. "

I'm Catholic myself. By the way, doesn't Christianity teach its followers that suicide is a mortal sin? That means this device gives you more than a head start in awaiting Judgment Day, it gives you a double head start since using it successfully will mean you've already been judged for committing suicide and will go to Hell for it.

Exactly!

Its the rubbing plate! Check out the diagram.

Its the rubbing plate! The coils are just a ruse.

Its the rubbing plate. precision forged out of the alloy Unobtainium, plated with Ferromanurium Sulfide, no doubt to achieve temporal thixotropy via teleportation due to quantum SN-2 reaction.

Look, I'm here already.

milo

After reviewing all these posts, I believe I have a solution to forward time travel, just take a couple water glasses full of scotch and lay down. You'll forget all about time.

Ah yes! That's been done before. A guy named Rip van Winkle, I believe.

Did you know that 'mother in law' is an anagram of 'Hitler woman'?

I have seen some crazy crap in my time but this takes the cake.

I do like the fact that it only costs $360, but $140 for the aluminium case accessory, MADNESS!!!

Bah, I am not paying that. referring to page 8 I think I prefer the book that tells you how to convert your wrist watch into a time machine.

Seriously people like this must have some form of mental problems. Why does his order form say "Thank you and have a great day in the Lord"?

Ooooooooh, page 7 has a book on how to convert a radio, a calculator and even a car into a time machine. Even a laser pointer can become a time machine.

Wait, what's this..... A Barium oxide magnet with an output of 3.4 MILLION GAUSS for only $19.95. Gots to get me one of those for my perpetual motion machine.........

"Seriously people like this must have some form of mental problems. Why does his order form say "Thank you and have a great day in the Lord"?

"

Maybe he's really Dr. Sam Beckett trying to encourage other people to join him in making Quantum Leaps to put people's problems right.

"...$140 for the aluminium case accessory..."

Concur on the madness! The canvas bag should be sufficiently sturdy for all normal purposes (well, at least what passes for normal on HIS world...). How's the magnetic perpetual motion machine coming along then?

"what passes for normal on HIS world..."

Scary thought that. What passes for normal in his world probably comes out of the sickest, looniest imaginations of Mad Magazine, Douglas Adams, H.P. Lovecraft, Stephen King, Salvador Dali and M.C. Escher all rolled into one.

(head in hands)

Every time I look at that diagram a little piece of me loses the will to live. At least with Mr Gibbs you KNOW he either has mental problems or is an absolutely terrible scam artist (probably both), and is therefore unlikely to harm too many people with his beliefs / remove too many idiots of their money.

I tried the link and it didn't work.. also similar links from other sources. I suspect that Mr. Gibbs took the money and ran.

Bill

A second try got it... I read several of the pages, but I had to flee from it with my life!! I was almost drowned in all the BS!!

Bill

Key word: " B U Y ! "

If I buy one, the first use it will get is to travel back in time far enough to stop payment on that check...

That guy ain't the only one of these around here...

"If I buy one, the first use it will get is to travel back in time far enough to stop payment on that check... "

Interesting scenario this, just like the Grandfather Paradox. If you bought one, and went back in time to stop payment, then that means you never paid for it and therefore never received it, which means you never went back in time to stop payment, which means you did buy it, and that means you can go back in time to stop payment, which means............

AAAARRRRGGGGHHHHH!!!! MENTAL OVERLOAD!!!!

Robert A. Heinlein wrote a short story (nearly a novella) called variously "The Time Gate" or "By His Bootstraps" that takes you through at least five iterations, all stranger than this one... Read it, you'll like it! (If you can find it...)

Will look for it. Thanks for the tip. This should really be interesting.

Got it, thanks.

I'm hungry. Spare us a reality sandwich, Gov!

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/business/7212994.stm

<Splutter>

So you don't believe my machine works? I'll prove it. I will post his message 1 year from now after I will come back in time and you will see it tonight. Check it out.