Caption This for 10/10/14

Hey boss, we were delivering these cars 'as is' right...?

Some days it just doesn't pay to get out of bed...!

"Can't drive 'em off. What's that? Well, some of 'em won't start; I'm pretty sure they're flooded."

T'was an old barge, the Camelot
That sailed the wintry sea;
And Mary Jo was with the skipper,
Our very own Ted Kennedy.
----
Blue were her eyes as the fairy-flax,
Her cheeks like the dawn of day,
And her bosom white as the hawthorn buds
That ope in the month of May.
---
Ol' Ted, he sat behind the helm,
His pipe was in his mouth,
And he watched how the veering flaw did blow
The smoke now west, now south.
---
Then up and spake an old sailor,
Had sailed to the Spanish Main,
"I pray thee, put into yonder port,
For I fear a hurricane.
---
"Last night the moon had a golden ring,
And to-night no moon we see!"
Ol' Ted he blew a whiff from his pipe,
And a scornful laugh laughed he.
---
Colder and louder blew the wind,
A gale from the north-east;
The snow fell hissing in the brine,
And the billows frothed like yeast.
---
Down came the storm, and smote amain
The vessel in its strength;
She shuddered and paused, like a frighted steed,
Then leaped her cable's length.
---
"Come hither! Come hither, O Mary Jo,
And do not tremble so;
For I can weather the roughest gale,
That ever wind did blow."
---
Ted wrapped her warm in his designer coat,
Against the stinging blast;
He cut a rope from a broken spar,
And bound her fast at last.
---
"O Ted! I hear Chappaquiddick's church-bells ring;
O say, what may it be?"-
"'Tis a fog-bell on a rock-bound coast!"-
And he steered for the open sea.
---
"Teddy! I hear the sound of guns;
O say, what may it be?"-
"Some ship in distress, that cannot live
In such an angry sea!"
---
"O Teddy! I see a gleaming light;
O say, what may it be?"
But she never heard his answer,-
A frozen corpse was she.
---
Lashed to her seat, all stiff and stark,
With her face turned to the skies.
His flashlight gleamed through the gleaming froth
On her fixed and glassy eyes.
---
Then ol' Ted he clasped his hands and prayed
That savéd he might be;
Then he thought of what the Press would say
"A political corpse was he!"
---
And fast through the midnight dark and drear,
Through the whistling sleet and snow,
Like a sheeted ghost, the vessel swept
To become the tale of Teddy's Woe
---
And ever the fitful gusts between,
A sound came from the land;
It was the sound of the trampling surf,
On the rocks and the hard sea-sand,
---
The breakers were right beneath her bows,
She drifted a dreary wreck,
A billow swept her load half off one side
Like icicles from her deck.
---
She struck where the white and fleecy waves
Looked soft as carded wool;
But the cruel rocks, they gored her side
Like the horns of an angry bull.
---
Her rattling load, now sheathed in ice,
With the rest went by the board;
Like a vessel of glass, she strove and sank,
Ho! ho! the breakers roared.
---
At daybreak, on the bleak sea-beach,
A fisherman stood aghast,
To see the form of a maiden fair,
Lashed to a drifting mass.---
The salt sea was frozen on her breast,
The salt tears in her eyes;
And he saw her hair, like the brown sea-weed,
On the billows fall and rise.
---
Such was the wreck of the Camelot,
In the midnight and the snow!
Bog save us all from a death like this,
In this tale of Teddy's Woe!

*****

with profuse apologies to H.W. Longfellow

On The Phone: "Tripple A -- I need a few TOWs?"

You've reached the phone number for Guido's barge customer service. Your call is important to us. All of our operators are presently busy. Please stay on the line.

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Like a bridge over troubled water

I will lay me down

Like a bridge over troubled

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When you're down and out....