The "Funny Translation" Blog for all Languages & Cultures!!

"This resulted in my second language actually being Czeklishnian "

ROFLMAO

That was just tooooo funny......thanks...made my day.

2nd generation mexicans will refer to each other as

vato

vato's will greet each other wass happen'n esay

the vato's must be highly educated as they are talking about things usually associated w/ higher learning.

Them vato's is smart always talkin bout essay's

I'll try& do better next time, but I did promise to help pump up the #'s over here

Coincidentally, I nipped out to get a can of beans while Small (my daughter) was watching TV/the dinner.

Passing the pub, I was lured in - don't know why, it just happens.

Met some mates, and said "W'appen?" (this borrowed from 2nd generation West Indians). Kinda similar?

"wass happen'n esay" would be easily accepted here as a normal variant of what everyone speaks.

Enjoy please: The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility. As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5- year phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro-English" . In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter. There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter. In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where! more komplikated changes are possible. Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away. By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v". During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensi bl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru. Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas. If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl.

U r funE ducon. Zis is cos of kidz wiv mobbies growin up und takin powa. I 8 txt tlk, but iz funE all same.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/magazine/4074004.stm

Können Sie mir etwas gegen die Schmerzen geben?

Another intentional mistranslation:

When interacting w/groups that have Spanish as their 1st language, I like to substitute Culo[butt, pronounced koolow] for cool. The difference can be subtle to ears listening for english from me & usually good for a chuckle.

I can't follar that up ! The TV show Graham Norton used to have fun showing products from around the world where the brand name just didn't translate into English well. I'm not going down the road of giving examples because you all probably know the type of thing. I think several Car Manufacturers have been caught out in this, but luckily don't have examples to hand.

The Chevy Nova. Nova translates roughly in Spanish to "no go".

Ha ! There was one car model that translated into another language as 'penis' (or an approximate word). I saw an elderly lady not long back driving a car that had a 'personalized' license -plate. M1NGA. I'd love to know if she was aware of the jocular interpretation.

one car model that translated into another language as 'penis' .

With due apology - The last name "Laura" in urdu slang = penis.

I had a visitor Mr.Pearcy Laura from Honeywell. I'd intoduce him to others as Mr.Pearcy till the girls in the office asked me what his his last name and why am I not introducing with his last name.I said do not ask. They insisted. I again said do not ask. However, the moment I said the last name - there were a lot of "AWES".

Not my fault.

By way of trivia ; I heard the film "Meet the Fockers" was only allowed past the censors when they could prove the name existed. Clearly they'd never been to Germany.

One of our Politicians was asked if he got teased as a kid about his name, Ed Balls. He replied " Not as much as my sister Ophelia". Another strange but true story is the 'Peacock family 'who named their newborn son "Drew" without realizing the implications ! Both stories are totally true !

I knew an "Anne Tique" who's father was in the Antique business......really true....friend of an ex girlfriend....

The advertising for a First World War film, in the 60s or 70s on the London underground showed two men desperately trying to get away from a Red Focker Triplane that was spraying machine gun bullets every where around them.

One said to the other in those comic "talk ballons":- "ITS A FOCKER!", the other replied "YOU CAN SAY THAT AGAIN!"

LOL ! The 'Four Candles' sketch that was on the "Two Ronnies' show is a classic. It's probably on You Tube.

Yep ; http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cz2-ukrd2VQ

There is still a popular auto product in the market as "Fcuk". I recall having their keychain which I never used. I can't recall the exact product.

Fcuk ("French Connection UK") sell lots of so-called 'trendy' clothes & other gear (or it would've been called 'trendy' in my day - don't know the new kidspeak word for it (my daughter informs me the word is 'bad')). People can be seen walking around with the logo on T-shirts, bags etc.

I'm Down wit dat!

That's sick

more kidspeak

'bad' somehow now seems to mean 'good'. I'm confused ( and probably getting to old) . It's pants man !

You must be old

bad has been good for 20years

I think some of those rap stars have spun it the full 360^o instead of the intended 180^o ! Irony must no longer be taught in Schools* . Most teen-speak seems to have an opposite meaning to the words uttered, but often this is the case. I'm still trying to persuade vermin that it's safe to go to a 'Ho-down'. Girlfriend is safe and nobody called 911 ! Now that is bad , I just don't know if I did 0^o , 360^o , or 720^o !

* I retract !

We did it in the 50s, think about Hi!!

It started off as "Hello", got changed to "LOw" for a a short time 50s as far as I remember before the 180° opposite came and stayed as "HIgh".....

Hi has been so long high that everybody has forgotten what went before.

Like "OK" being the opposite of "KO" which meant "Knocked out" as in boxing fight - is he KO? No he's OK = not unconscious......

I am sure there must be many more such idioms......

The word "Quiz" has an interesting history, being "invented" for fun really.....i found a link:-

http://www.answers.com/topic/quiz

WORD HISTORY The origins of the word quiz are as difficult to pin down as the answers to some quizzes. We can say that its first recorded sense has to do with people, not tests. The term, first recorded in 1782, meant "an odd or eccentric person." From the noun in this sense came a verb meaning "to make sport or fun of" and "to regard mockingly." In English dialects and probably in American English the verb quiz acquired senses relating to interrogation and questioning. This presumably occurred because quiz was associated with question, inquisitive, or perhaps the English dialect verb quiset, "to question" (probably itself short for obsolete inquisite, "to investigate"). From this new area of meaning came the noun and verb senses all too familiar to students. The second recorded instance of the noun sense occurs in the writings of no less an educator than William James, who in a December 26, 1867, letter proffers the hope that "perhaps giving 'quizzes' in anatomy and physiology . . . may help along."

Due to my rubbish eye-sight I can't match that in length, but it's so true ! Teens get ever more mumbled in their responses. A sort of 'ugh ? ' seems to pass for " I beg your pardon dear parent, what did you say ? The I-pod strapped to my head prevented me from hearing precisely what you said. Tell me again and I will immediately comply without complaint with your parental guidance. Thank you so much for correcting me pater/mater". As if ! Some kind of nod or grunt seems to be the preferred method of communication. The prospect of things like 'pocket-money' day or x-mas seems to get their attention though ! Trying to con Mrs Skwirrel that I ain't dished the dosh yet just doesn't work. No double handouts for you me lad . Been there, done that - they always think they know a new trick. LOL

Iduhno, an extended contraction

mumblespeak is sort of like southern USA dialect. Speak quickly, move your lips & tongue as little as possible.

I was told that texting [not in the spellchecker] is an evolution of telegraph-teletype practices. These pre-unlimited bandwidth forms of communication charged by the character, so different bits of shorthand came to be used to keep the costs down.

@2cents per letter would breaking the bath, have broken the bank?

I lost interest since the skwirl got us all hot & bothered & never gave us a money shot!!

We could probably stretch this to 10'000 posts

what it lacks in lunacy, is more than made up by the topic

Oh no. I'm off topic again!

Nobody is off topic on this Blog as it is all if you like "Off Topic", which of course makes it "ON TOPIC" for us all.

Make sense? Probably not, so that was definitely "Off Topic!!"...or "On?"

DUUUHHH!?!

Even I am failing to go off topic here !

I am on a different planet though !

But it helps you "Work rest and play" x 2......!!

Andy is gonna be so sorry he started this thread ("breaking the bath" didn't escape me !) Ha !!! 'Be careful what you wish for' I think the saying goes ! Another 1000 and we'll transmogulate this thread !

Hi Kris,

I have to admit you got me on this word "transmogulate", what does it mean? I looked it up on several online Dictionaries with no answer! Should I panic? Will I lose something vital just because I don't know?

The reason for starting this blog was more so that anyone could ask anything or write anything about anything, sort of a daily newspaper that prompts me to read it....and that nothing would really be "off Topic".....no matter what!!

I came here for an argument!

But I kant speak squirrel? which seems to be an ever evolving language

It's a chuffing excellent blog Andy ! If It beat 'bath' I have no objection at all. That was all tongue in cheek whereas this is helping people to communicate. Excellent thread ( like your DIY post - very cool, I shall try to add to it in the new Year. Kudos to you and moose for kick-starting it ).OK, I made the word 'transmogiulate' up. but it did sound kind of funny at the time. Gromnify me if you want !

Consider yourself suitably "Gromnified"!!

I doubt if it will make the number of posts that the Bath made, but it has its own charm in the very nice style of poster from the CR4 group, in that area I am exceedingly pleased indeed....

With the DIY stuff, it was alarmingly simple to build and make to look good, even if you don't have OSB boards available, which are strong and stable, the design lend itself to other boards MDF etc...(though I personally have not used MDF for many years, since I discovered OSB).

Battens and screws and if you did not want to use so many screws, then screwing and gluing would reduce the quantity a lot.....I personally only glue when there is no other way or I need a particularly strong connection.....I like the idea of bing able to knock something down if I change my mind......

So far I have built the Dining Room Cupboard, and a large double closet for my youngest Daughter ( a lot of clothes at 22!) which her 3/4 bed fits into and which has a Dark Blue Sky over her head with a hidden UV light source to light the white "Stars" painted on the dark blue.......that is really simple and completely mind blowing, you sleep under the stars without the problem of waking up with a heavy Dew on you!! (bad old Joke, sorry!)

At the present, I am putting in special walls (OSB again) in the kitchen to support the new kitchen when it arrives as the original walls are not (timber frame) good enough for that...I have made up pieces for the walls from 1 and 1/3 OSB Boards, glued together (they are only 1m83 high and the kitchen is almost 2m50 high....and it is working out really well. I put a new window in yesterday with a fixed part at the bottom, so that the window opening is not obstructed by the taps.....in Germany, windows always open inwards......

In all there will be 19 power sockets mounted over and behind the kitchen units as there is nothing worse than having to run power leads to radios, TVs and other such items that may be higher up or on top of units......also for the LED strip lighting under the cabinets but switched!!!

Have a great Christmas and New Year....

Hope you'll be copying all that DIY stuff to the other thread. I have yet to assemble a sensible summary of 'bath' for it (), but it will get done.

I just fixed new bath in position. The pipework was such that I was having a real battle to get the bath 'butted-up' against the wall at the tap end of it. In the end I thought "to heck with this" and left a gap of several inches. I'll use this to assemble some kind of shelving (probably using the OSB technique you mention, although I'm tempted by the idea of some nicely varnished pine. Depending on how I finish it, the gap may be useful if I ever have to access the pipes again. My neck and back feel like I've just been on WWF or spent a week wrestling a Grizzly !Just out of interest is it possible to tile onto OSB ? I can't see why not, but a second opinion would be useful. Right now I'm just glad to have the thing functioning with no leaks etc. I've got to build a cupboard around the boiler and electrical controls else it isn't legal (). I'll be trying to put together more detail (and maybe some pics) within a week or so.

I agree with you about having adequate power sockets. One thing that annoys me is that most UK houses have sockets located as low down as possible ( right near the skirting board in living rooms/bedrooms etc). I got mine fitted in about 18" above floor level . I can't see any reason to have them so low you strain to reach them and constantly bash them with the Hoover.

That window thing is odd. I wonder if it's just a case of design inertia ? Stuff gets built a certain way simply because 'that's how it's always been done'. I can't think of a good argument for having it either way. Outward opening may catch more wind, inward opening may get in the way. It could make an interesting thread in it's own right ! Years ago I heard tell of a guy who was doing some work at a large place in the City of London. I think it was the bank of England. Anyway, he's working on huge big (20' high) sash windows when he heard a funny sound. He pulled his head back from the window frame as this thing came thundering down - the ropes holding the counterbalance weight had bust ! Milliseconds away from a bad end.

Your daughters room sounds cool. If you ever have time when visiting UK, you'd probably like the mansion house at Port Lympe Zoo. It has terrific themed rooms painted by Whistler. Couldn't find a good pic on-line, but each room is like being in a different world as the art-work is on the ceilings as well as walls. The 'Tent Room' is fantastic.

Merry X-mas to you and yours too Andy, I'll look forward to catching you around on the DIY blog soon.

Kris,

you should use green drywall or cement board to combat the enevitable intrusion of water through the grout!

Thanks Garthh, it's on the list of points to consider once Christmas is over and I finish the job.

Thanks for the link !

I've yet to get around to tiling etc - my spirit has sort of withered. I really shouldn't have undertaken a project like this, at this time of year. Bathroom , CH, the whole lot. I found some stuff called 'plumbers mate' which is a sort of non -setting putty. Real good for fixing crisis moments. Many thanks for your input.

Kris.

I feel your pain. I bought a "fixer" 3 years ago, and since then I've replaced every inch of the siding, (2000 sq. ft., 2 story house) completely gutted and rebuilt one bathroom, replaced the floor, sink and vanity in another bathroom and pulled up and replaced the floors in 4 bedrooms, the dining room and the game room. I also poured 9 yards of concrete, widening the driveway and other projects.

AND I'M STILL NOT DONE!!!!! AAAARRRGGGGHHH!!!!!!!!!!

sorry about that.

That's cool to hear. My place was bought as a wreck and I've slowly done the thing up, but in spare time, and as and when I've had funds. If I'd paid somebody to do the whole lot at the start, total cost would have been less. My only satisfaction is having acquired a few skills along the way. At present I'm discussing the possibility of buying a house to restore as a joint venture with one of my brothers. There are some fantastic places just begging to be restored. I'd have to sell my house to raise my share of the capital, and would also live in the new wreck ( the only realistic way of keeping junkies etc out). We'd have to plan it pretty good and employ professionals so we could get the whole thing done in the best way/time. It would be hell living in such a place, and I'd probably not want to sell it after. Also it would interfere with my other work. At some point later this year we may work up our plans and do this. There is a mixture of trepidation and excitement. I'd love to renovate a house as a business project. The money is not that important ( well OK, some extra £ would be nice ), it's the pure fun of transforming something that appeals to me. Where I live there are quite a few properties that have sat for years in disrepair etc. My brother lives quite a way away, so I'd be the one supervising. The other aspect that bothers me is mixing business and family - not always a good thing from what I've observed in life. If this thing ever takes off it would make a terrific blog on CR4. As yet I've still got to get around to giving a digest on my bathroom project. Wish I'd had the foresight to take pictures as it was in progress. It's going to be painful when I sell this place, I feel as though I know every inch of it.

If it helps any, I've shouted !!!!! AAAARRRGGGGHHH!!!!!!!!!! more times than I can think. All those little moments when you find yourself sat on the floor not knowing whether to laugh or cry. One evening I tripped over the ladder I'd left in the hallway - there are not enough *'s to describe what I said as my coccyx hit the rung. I crawled to the settee and eventually laughed it off, but I can still feel the bruising now.

Looks like a popular pastime; I too am in the process! Hall rebuilt, front two rooms replastered, all doors and windows removed, sanded and repainted, front of house restored, waste pipe rerouted, living room wall pulled down, new log burner and chimney installed, two old small stables pulled down and all the Spanish swear words learned in just under 2 years! I estimate another 2 years living in a building site with lots of new swear words to brighten my day! NO FUN!!!! My house is an old Spanish style farm building with the land off to one side! Unfortunately, I don't own the land, just the house and patio!

All I can say is, one day I will finish this and it will have been worth all the cuts and bruises!

Happy Hammering!

We should transfer some of this to the DIY blog moose has been promoting. What the heck are you complaining about, living in nice sunny Spain ? Sitting there eating your oranges !Lucky ******* ! I heard that a few people had moved to Spain and got screwed because they didn't understand property law there. Any truth to this ? Back in the UK we have an ongoing fiasco with what is known as ' Home information packs'. It's nearly as bad as the trend for 'Radon emission' clauses in house sales.

Since You've morphed, Shall we move on to avian cruelty?

It was either him of the dude at the desk who I will change into soon. Slight sob.

I've heard of a few people that got caught by rogue building contractors who get your deposit and then after the house is finished, bump up the price claiming that the original contract only covered the building and not the land it was build on, so you have to fork out for the land later! The other trick they were doing on the older houses was making you pay for the ownership papers to be written (This was for a house in the middle of nowhere without original papers) When infact a house cannot be sold unless the previous owner has the papers written first! They try to say that it is your duty when infact it is their duty!

As for the weather! sunny but coolish, not cold like the UK!

I had a couple of jugs once, but it would get me into serious trouble if I explained.

Where I come from that would mean you've had a mastectomy?

& I won't even go into I will not nibble your balls Mr Brain.

What sort winged avenger are you anyway?

That is so spooky - I just used a similar clip in a PM ! No mastectomy, but a rather well endowed girl I once dated. Mr Brains Orange balls are quite safe (Unless a doctor advises otherwise).

Kris, what happened to your Squirrel and who is that instead?????

A lot of folk kept saying to me that I should switch back to one of my previous pictures. Most popular choice was 'the dude at the desk', so naturally I went with the other. A figure out of Victorian folk-law who would prance upon people. He has various images, but newspapers were at the time enthralled. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spring_Heeled_Jack

Having divulged my mystery, I may have to change again !

Small world, innit? I'm in the same boat, although I think I'm ahead in total cost. Way behind in time!!! My place had around 500 sq.ft. of red brick flooring on the ground floor when I bought it. Not tile, but 2"x4" red brick that you normally see in walls. I took just under 5 tons of brick to the dump. I was sore for days after that.

My brother also wants me to go into the business with him, I'm just not sure I want to do this for a living, even though I'd love to be in business with him. This is what he does: http://www.pineridgetimberframe.com/ His territory is the entire western US, and things seem to be taking off. Who knows, maybe I'll get my place done and get out of sunny San Diego. I'm tired of 70F winters. Back to Colorado where it's sunny and cold!

Bricks, tile.......

My knees hurt just reading about it!

That natural wood is so cool ! It must be a really satisfying craft to know. If you do get out to Colorado, could I ask that you kick Mork in the nuts for me ? I wanted Mindy !

You can have Mindy, I'll take Emma Peel (the Diana Rigg one). We can call it a "cultural exchange".

No deal - all that black plastic stuff is way too good to trade. They certainly new how to pick a cast.

They should change the name from fcuk to "Puke". It is still better disgusting than fcuk.

The French drink labeled from the sound of the escaping CO2 as you open it, something like "PPISSHHIIT", I had convulsions (almost!) from laughing as a 10 year old when my Father bought me a bottle on an early visit to the south of France in the 50s....I think that my brother drank nothing else as we just like to order it!!! It tasted nothing special... a fizzy soda.....

The spelling may not be quite 100% as its a long time ago......

There was a Fiat named in one language that it would break down quickly - and it did. So they fixed the name only.......

Remember "Call My Bluff" ? Fantastic !

Have done, its one of my favourites.....

I think that one merely has to take a long motorbike trip around the U.S.A., where in practically every region one can enjoy a sandwich that is called a Hoagie, Poor Boy, Grinder, or Submarine and enjoy a carbonated beverage that is called a Pop, Coke, Sodee Pop, or Belly Washer, and swear that the sandwich and beverage never changed!

Cross-Continental? Not necessarily! We find this language anomoly in our own back yards. And me? At this moment I am "jiggy" for a smoke, but my wife would say that I am "Jones-ing" for a cigarette!

Regards,

Ing. Robert Forbus

(As though I have time with a kitchen needing two walls built and two knocked down,

Why are you building walls just to tear them down again? Is this a government-sponsered kitchen?

Duuhhh, two completely different walls need building to the Duuhhh two walls that need to be knocked down!!!

Plus I had to take a window out of one wall and replace it with a different type (done that) due to the taps being so tall. The window I took out (one year old) will go in a wall in a position where another wall butts into it (at the moment!)

I am well on the way, window installed, outside wall rebuilt.

Floor from room behind bathroom that was taken from bathroom and given to the kitchen was dug up and relaid.

Dual Aerial cables laid from upstairs.

Three phase cables ( 3 x 3 phase in all with each a neutral and earth) to the kitchen and the new seating area laid. 2 or the three connected and now in use with ELCBs on the new mains box.

Complete electrical system for the kitchen hidden behind new dummy walls of OSB (23 sockets alone!!!) due to outside wall being 100 year old timber frame....

All walls finished and papered.

Wooden ceiling finished (my back!!).

New floor arrived yesterday.......will get onto that probably tomorrow!!!

Kitchen should arrive in about 10 days......

I am pooped.....

I don't really know why I am putting all this in this blog, but what the hell!!!

I forgot tu update, kitchen installed and running fine since easter, I have added a corner bench seat that has no legs, it is attached to two walls. Underneath is the rads for when the pellets stove is not running, it gives you a great warm feeling when on!! the pellets burner too of course!!