Soda Pop: Newsletter Challenge (01/15/08)

Ah, how I love the weather here - it fairly RAINS puns!

Its funny-considering the combined IQ's, knowledge base, and experience of the participants in this blog; half the time the challenge question takes back seat to the gufaws.

If we were sitting in one room, face to face holding a design meeting, we'd all be as strait-laced as a hangin' judge. Here, you can hide behind the anonymity of your avatar and just cut loose. Dang good thing, too, I get awful tired of those meetings, because I'm usually the one that just has to crack a joke...

Ah, how I love the weather here - it fairly RAINS puns!

Obvously, we have a lot of people here from Punnsylvannia! If you think anyone deserves punishment, you could give them a punch. But if you try that on me, I'll distract you first. How? Alaska Hawaii!

Well, 'pun my word! You don't think I'd favor punishment for humor do you? I might take paper and puncil and write you a note about it. I'd never punch you out though. Kind of you to demonstrate your geographical prowess, Alaska, Hawaii, Punnsylvania, and counting your own address, Oklahoma in one short post. I applaud that, and opun my bag of goodies to award you...

Soda thread got off topic, and a few puns snuck in. But you had to opun the door and give me the opportunity to unleash a prepunderance of groaners. Many do not appreciate plays on words, so I played the punishment angle.

I admit that I am better qualified as a punster than as a theater critic, because I am better at creating plays on words than creating words on plays.

If the goodies you offer include large amounts of my favorite soft drinks, I will say, "Tanks a lot!"

Sorry, the only goodie I was offering was the gold star. But if you're thirsty, have one on me...

Dude! Just buy single serving 12 oz. cans! Then recycle the aluminum for CASH! Plastic bottles can be recycled, but the value you earn (if any) hardly justifies the effort, unless you are just a "green freak" . There are lots of other great reasons to buy cans versus plastic bottles.

Another advantage of single serving aluminum cans is that they can be cooled very quickly by icing down in a tub of ice and water (add salt to get it REAL cold!) and you have no dirty glasses to clean up after if you drink straight from the can. Although I would advise washing/wiping off the top first before opening to avoid any foreign matter in your mouth that might have been deposited during handling or transportation!

Talk about maximum carbonation! HOO-CHEE, MAMA! You can be your own one-man burpfest! "R-a-a-a-a-a-alph! Bu-u-u-u-u-u-u-u-uick! O-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-oldsmobile!"

Then there is ever-popular SHOTGUN method of consuming the canned beverage, a party favorite . Using a sturdy pointed object (a ballpoint pen may do in a pinch), puncture a hole in the side of the can near the bottom. Place mouth over hole (or for the really daring, hold can a few inches above and away from your mouth with the hole aimed towards you), then pop the top and let 'er rip, as the tasty liquid gushes into your mouth. This may be used with other canned BEvERages as well! Caution, flow is difficult to stop once it starts and DON'T set your can down before finishing it!

Other party games/stupid human tricks involve the six-pack connector piece of plastic. Demonstrate how the relatively weak plastic can be easily pulled apart by grabbing one loop on each end and pulling until it stretches and breaks at one point. Then invite the strongest and dumbest, or drunkest , party guest to pull another plastic piece apart, but this time fold the loops together, since he is so strong, and observe with HIGH-larity how the oaf pulls until his fingers throb and almost bleed, then grimaces with pain.

Oh.....pardon me....I just had a flashback to my lost and wanton youth! <grin>

We now return you to your original program.

YEEEEE-haw! You GO dude! I still think my original answer is closer to the truth than all of this chemistry and physics combined...check it out!