What would be your best choice for a survival weapon?

Use the CR4 search fuction to find Blink's 'Axe'. Very cools, but perhaps not much use in a survival situation ( althogh I'd be happy to stand corrected). A guy needs some wheels.

Cool, but on the on the other hand a different type might be useful;

There's a lot to be said for SOME of the old ways, eh?

Ya man............it has a way of grounding a soul...........Georgian Bay, north shore.

LOL !

If it ever happens, post a message. I'll be the idiot dude hoping to join you, swimming mid-channel. I'd even put up with Enviroman knapping his flints.

Yeah, but then we'd have to feed the bugger...............

....not if he knapped enough. 'Prairie Oysters' would seem like a pleasure by comparison. I'd be dead from laughing, so you can flambe them for yourself.

Not me, you wouldn't! I'm pretty dang good at feeding myself, but thanks for the offer...

... you'd flame your own ...? ROFLMAO. Where is Vermin when ya need one. Oh no, I suddenly feel sick.

I see what you mean - the concept of "ownership" gets a bit murky, don't it? I guess after I catch 'em, they'd be mine though... No worries for you, skwirrels have extremely small ones as I recall! "I say, whose nuts are these, then?"

I have no idea what these are !

Mountain oysters on the half-shell, perhaps?

One of us needs therapy ! You do 1/2, I'll do the other 3/4.

Sounds like a fair share to me, Mate!

Ye both just lost yer allotment of Brownie points with those posts.

No nutcases on my boat.

OK, OK, we'll share - you can have the other third! Can't he, Kris? Can we sail wi' ye now, huh? Huh? Can we? Can we? Huh? Purty puh-leeezzze?!?

What do ya mean ? There's only 25 % left, and we need 2/3 to keep vermin calm !I''d prefer the left leg, but am amenable to share. You is both 'mericans', so you can have first slice;Just don't laugh too bad when I do. Sorry vermin, but someone has to sacrifice.

I'm startin' to think it's your therapy that needs some math skills (or is it the other way 'round?).

On the other hand I would propose dining on those who managed to score 'good answers' in this post.

OK, it's you. 'Duck' we can use the terms. I'll use vermin for bait.Pillls are round.Except tha erianglar purple ones.

Well I'll be.........it's making a bit of sense now........If Vermin is agreeable I suppose an edible figurehead might be the civilized way to go.

You both realize that you'll be swabbing the deck clean afterwards AND carving a new leg for the fellow.

I'll supply the wine. Red?

We have something called " Blue Nun". I really couldn't explain.

Nun in the morning.... nun at night?

With some triangular pills maybe?

Forgive my late arrival. I was at the train station and missed the ferry while waiting on the #7 bus.

So when you duckinthepond don't you get water in your ears?

Hey Texas....................! What kind of ferry was it that you were getting on?

The pilot looked as such:

A mysterious dude. Ranting of monkeys and such.

How Ghastly........the Yanks have kidnapped my uncle and have him chained to the fairy wheel!

http://www.chumfm.com/MorningShow/bits/march24.swf

Totally off topic but I thought you'd get a laugh out of this. Turn speakers on.

Oh, Lordy! ROFLMSAO!!! Great - thanks! Not so off topic though, those li'l ol' ladies had their survival weapons chosen!

This had the entire city of Toronto laughing for weeks.................It actually caused early morning traffic jams.

ROFL ! The way that guy just watches and describes is brilliant.

Can't figure out how ya get 4 old ladies in one of these ;

That's the old model. We have newer ones...

Best guess...

Hillary Clinton?

If so, many, many years ago...

You lot are gonna kill me laughing whatever ! Can't think of a better way. Loves ya all.

Kris

That's all right fer YOU - yer uncle ain't been kidnapped by us Yanks, now has he?!?

Ok Ok.......I lied.......he wasn't kidnapped by Yanks. He attended the Ottawa political science seminary and because of a speech impediment they dipped him in the tar sands and made a gargoyle out've him.

Blaming the Yanks only accomodates tradition.

"...because of a speech impediment..."

Guess he shoulda' gargoyled with this instead...

Ever seen "South Park" ? I don't know why you haven't nuked 'em, or at least said "we want Alaska, it's nearer to us". 'verbal America bashing' is a Brit sport. Funny thing is, we end up copying them, usually 2 years later.

"...we end up copying them..."

Right! The way Steptoe and Son was modeled after Sanford and Son...no, wait, that was the other way 'round. Hmmm...so what HAVE y'all copped from us? Back in the '60's it was "the British invasion" of everything from Carnaby Street to the Beatles, Twiggy to Tiny Tim, James Bond to what have ye. I'm hard pressed to know ('specially not being there) what things American you might have copied. Certainly not our good looks...

McFish-N-Chips

Remember H. Salt? 'fraid we copped that, too...

McJobs

Crime rates.

Oh, sure, copy all the good stuff! _Sleazers...

I've always believed there's a way of insulting someone the effect of which makes them laugh at themselves. Unfortunately the latest round of Yank bashing here in Canada is crass and highly offensive to the citizens of the US. Most of it is theatre created to get ratings within the Canadian media. On the other side of that coin I believe Canadians who engage in that type of rubbish are over-compensating for their own lack of character and political moxy.

One example is Canadian vacationers in Florida who fly the Canadian flag on US soil. That in itself is a declaration of war. In this days reality it is an indicator of a lack of protocol and ignorance on the part of those Canadians who do that. Furthermore, it is the right of any US citizen to remove the flagpole of the offending party. It hasn't happened yet and I'm impressed the Yanks allow it to go on.

GA ! I agree with you. No offences was intended.

I just wrote that in case any of 'em started to sulk. They get downright mopy when they're like that and start voting.

On the other hand we did bash them in the war of 1812 AND burned down the White House (Just a log cabin at the time painted white).

AND filled Louisiana with Cajuns, I hasten to add... A fair trade.

We lost the best chefs on this continent with that stupidity....not to mention the culture.

No pity! (You ain't gettin' Emeril back, not no how, not no way...)

How 'bout tradin' some tar sands crude for the fellow?

Nah, we gots oil shale... You can have my share of Martha Stewart gratis though...

I'd LIKE to believe it's because we think it's cute.

I'm afraid I have to think it's because most of us Americans are ignorant of proper flag protocols.

I guarantee I was not personally aware of any overt animosity. I have friends who are from Canada, and they don't demonstrate any hostility. (For that matter, neither do you...)

Spent time sailing into differrent ports around the globe. Discovered that it's good manners to fly ones' own flag alongside that of the nation one is visiting (it's also correct protocol). In many cases it helps break the edge with the national authorities.

To fly ones' own national flag on another nations soil is ok if one also flies the host nations flag. However, one's own flag has to be slightly lower.

Except the US flag code specifies that our ensign is never to be flown lower than any other (and manners be damned, I guess...). Oh, well, for what it's worth...I DO take a bit of pride in 'er!

That is correct protocol for boats and ships because it signifies point of origin and nationality. Unless one has express permission (invited military compounds on foreign soil for example) it cannot be flown higher than the host nations flag if one is on their soil....except on embassy territory.

My neighbour took pride in flying the Ca flag while in Ft. Lauderdale until somebody yanked his flagpole out. He's an arrogant idiot at the best of times and got no sympathy from me.

What flames me is that there was a radio station here that urged people to do this.

Hmph! Give 'em THIS Florida (formerly, anyway) flag to fly from me then, eh?

"Take what ye can - give nothin' back!"

That's my neighbours 81 yr. old mother shovelling the drive (18" snow) last winter. That's his truck parked at the foot of the drive. He doesn't take her to Florida. He's never mowed the lawn.

Just to give you an idea of who these people are...............yep, you guessed it! We got 'em too!

Well, to his credit, at least he left his truck for her to drive... Bloody cretin! I'd offer to keelhaul him fer ya, but Ft.L. is way over on the 'Lantic coast, and I don't like to go there that much...

It was plenty good then....freakin' social "evolution".

"at least he left his truck for her to drive"

She doesn't drive.

Personally I've never seen or imagined anything of this nature. Senior abuse on a level that can't be prosecuted.

She doesn't drive, therefore needed to shovel a foot and a half of snow out of the driveway because..._______ (fill in the blank). Maybe mental insensitivity runs in the family. But he still oughta be keelhauled, the blighter!

needed to shovel a foot and a half of snow out of the driveway because..._______ after having the neighbourhood (myself included) do it for her without any offer of compensation or thanks it was decided enough is enough. She has three sons and eight grown grandsons all within a ten minute drive....a cop, a customs officer and a gas utility repairman...and all of whom are a study in one form of pathology or another.

The cop, by the way, attempted to hose off a climber (The Human Fly) from the 30th story of an office tower. It was filmed and the entire city of Toronto wanted him lynched. He is now a detective and makes 80k.

?!?!?! And here's me thinking OUR society rewarded stupidity too richly! Well, if she couldn't even muster a thanky-kindly for a neighbor clearing the drive, maybe the boys come by their boorishness rightly. Guess it could be a heritable trait, certainly can be a learned one! I ain't sayin' they don't deserve a hiding, but I'm losing sympathy for the old lady rapidly...

You're absolutely right on the mark. I suspect the trait goes back to an Australopithecine era........though I might be doing Australopithecus a disservice here.

And why some of Abner Ugg's neighbors couldn't have been pissy little whiney babies I cannot imagine. Why else would we have developed the trait of conducting war?

Flying foreign flags can and will lead to this sort of action! Nothing like a vet with his K BAR! Hoorah!

As a citizen he's well within his rights but I have to wonder whether this could have been solved without such anger. Had he explained the correct protocol perhaps the Mexican fellow would have understood.

A bit quick on the draw I'd say.

Pretty dull K-Bar. I can still shave with my old army knife.

HooRah! Indeed!

Yo Texas............the Mexican did state he was unaware of the protocol....understandable, no? He is, after all, an American citizen.

The vet merely accomodated his own rage. Not much of a Hurrah given that it could have been settled amicably. Unfortunately the diplomatic possibility has become even more complex given the 'shoot first, ask questions later' attitude.

And yet you seemed (correct me if mistaken) to think it quite right that the Floridian uprooted your boorish neighbor's boorish son's flagpole... How diplomatic that was!

He was asked for four years to comply.

Arrrr! Keelhaul the rotter!

Good Stuff.

Could we ply her with wine... warm her up... and make her forget her bad habits??

Bill

Vermin (our vermin) don't got legs, but probably could be used for the swab. I presume there's a "where to put the handle"...

Yeah ok...but what if it goes bald?

???Don't know if that's even possible...??? Can pocket lint go bald? Sometimes it can glow in the dark - handy as a nightlight I suppose...

Classic Brit joke from " Only Fools and Horses"; A guy known as 'Trigger' is a road-sweeper. " I've had this broom for 20 years" he tells his stunned mates. " In that time it's had 14 new heads, and 5 new handles"

This may be 'Off-Topic', but hey, a broom could be a weapon. Inserted in vermin's **** it would be ! I ain't volunteering to try it.

I suppose one could use the handle pneumaticallyand use vermin as a ballistic....

The US of A.