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Anonymous Poster #1

A Little Humor

05/27/2014 1:18 PM

How many engineers does it take to change a light bulb? Looking for answers.

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#1

Re: A little humor.

05/27/2014 1:21 PM

We'll need the location, size, mounting apparatus used, type of bulb, voltage, wattage and any other pertinent information including time allowance restrictions, if any....

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#2
In reply to #1

Re: A little humor.

05/27/2014 1:23 PM

I can't even begin without a Engineering Change Notice (ECN)

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#3
In reply to #2

Re: A little humor.

05/27/2014 1:34 PM

....and a PO#....

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#17
In reply to #3

Re: A little humor.

05/27/2014 2:33 PM

Then there are all the permits.

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#18
In reply to #17

Re: A little humor.

05/27/2014 2:34 PM

ohhhh nnoooooo, No permits until an environmental impact study has been made.

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#52
In reply to #17

Re: A little humor.

05/28/2014 7:35 AM

Don't forget failure analysis!

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#64
In reply to #52

Re: A little humor.

05/28/2014 11:26 AM

Can't start work without a released Work Breakdown Structure, Project Charge Numbers, and an MRP in SAP.

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#66
In reply to #64

Re: A little humor.

05/28/2014 11:29 AM

ASAP?

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#69
In reply to #3

Re: A little humor.

05/28/2014 4:23 PM

Most important - blanket preferably! -- JHF

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#4

Re: A little humor.

05/27/2014 1:38 PM

OH I thought working in total darkness was normal here on CR4

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#5
In reply to #4

Re: A little humor.

05/27/2014 1:41 PM

Total darkness is a myth....

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#6
In reply to #5

Re: A little humor.

05/27/2014 1:43 PM

Yes, all good engineers should have one in their emergency/first aid kit.

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#7
In reply to #5

Re: A little humor.

05/27/2014 1:43 PM

not according to most of the posts asking for answers with no specs. That kind of darkness. ( Thanks, SE )

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#10
In reply to #7

Re: A little humor.

05/27/2014 1:53 PM

The Vermicious Knid of darkness??

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#8

Re: A Little Humor.

05/27/2014 1:50 PM

It's down to the maintenance department to do it...

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#9

Re: A Little Humor.

05/27/2014 1:51 PM

Two...

One to persuade someone else to do it while the other gets a paper bag to bang behind the victim.

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#11
In reply to #9

Re: A Little Humor.

05/27/2014 1:54 PM

It depends whether the task is for a thesis or not.

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#12

Re: A little humor.

05/27/2014 1:57 PM

Engineers should know when to delegate tasks (to the blond with the mini).

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#21
In reply to #12

Re: A little humor.

05/27/2014 2:41 PM

But OSHA guidelines dictate that a coworker should be steadied by holding of the legs of any person standing on top of ladder...

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#24
In reply to #21

Re: A little humor.

05/27/2014 2:47 PM

Nice ladder.

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#45
In reply to #24

Re: A little humor.

05/27/2014 11:02 PM

Fall Suppression net???

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#63
In reply to #21

Re: A little humor.

05/28/2014 10:44 AM

What bulb??.....

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#65
In reply to #63

Re: A little humor.

05/28/2014 11:28 AM

Oh Great, we have a philosophy major here.

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#13

Re: A Little Humor.

05/27/2014 2:07 PM

In all documentation every third page must read

.

.

.

.

.

This Page Intentionally Left Blank

.

.

.

.

.

.

You know, to accommodate the Future, so when they add more pages, every third page must also be blank to accommodate the Future?

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#14

Re: A Little Humor.

05/27/2014 2:15 PM

How many?,........ well the new guy Darrel is right over there......

Hey Darrel!, I have a project for you.

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#15

Re: A Little Humor.

05/27/2014 2:16 PM

Deer Collegues..........

How many engineers does it take to change a light bulb? Looking for immediate answers by 3:00PM.

Thx's in advance.

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#19
In reply to #15

Re: A Little Humor.

05/27/2014 2:35 PM

Please submit request in triplicate....

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#20
In reply to #19

Re: A Little Humor.

05/27/2014 2:38 PM

I don't understand...... in triplicate....... does that mean it takes (3) engineers?

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#22
In reply to #20

Re: A Little Humor.

05/27/2014 2:45 PM

No the safety officer always gets a copy....it's in his contract...

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#25
In reply to #22

Re: A Little Humor.

05/27/2014 2:49 PM

I see accounting is processing it now as we speak....... and from there it will be put in the safety directors hands....... correct?

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#26
In reply to #25

Re: A Little Humor.

05/27/2014 2:51 PM

I think I'm going to wash my hands of the whole matter...........

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#27
In reply to #26

Re: A Little Humor.

05/27/2014 3:02 PM

Just in time vertical integration opt out...?

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#28
In reply to #26

Re: A Little Humor.

05/27/2014 3:02 PM

There's paperwork for that, too. In triplicate (and no, can't do it three times without EPA approval).

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#33
In reply to #28

Re: A Little Humor.

05/27/2014 3:07 PM

great,..... I think I got some of that triplicate on my shoe....... watch where you step.....

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#16

Re: A Little Humor.

05/27/2014 2:32 PM

A, one, they hold the bulb and the world revolves around them

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#29
In reply to #16

Re: A Little Humor.

05/27/2014 3:04 PM

Only if you work for Apple.

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#30
In reply to #29

Re: A Little Humor.

05/27/2014 3:05 PM

- sorry, there is so much triplicate being thrown around, I got this response to the wrong post.....

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#32
In reply to #30

Re: A Little Humor.

05/27/2014 3:06 PM

Shoes hell. Waders.

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#35
In reply to #32

Re: A Little Humor.

05/27/2014 3:09 PM

wow, I do one mistake and it gets legs and runs.....

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#39
In reply to #35

Re: A Little Humor.

05/27/2014 3:56 PM

Great, more painting supplies....the boss will love it....

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#43
In reply to #16

Re: A Little Humor.

05/27/2014 8:59 PM

Five. One holds the bulb and the other four drink until the room spins around.

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#23

Re: A Little Humor.

05/27/2014 2:47 PM

Engineers or anonymous posters? I think we should be told.

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#31
In reply to #23

Re: A Little Humor.

05/27/2014 3:05 PM

Anonymous Engineers.

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#34

Re: A Little Humor.

05/27/2014 3:08 PM

NONE...they're still trying to get the Silicon-Carbide LED's to work.

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#36

Re: A Little Humor.

05/27/2014 3:15 PM

None if the engineer designs lighting device right. So that it just makes it thru warranty before the bulb burns out. And the bulb is non replaceable would have to destroy the device to get to it.

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#37

Re: A Little Humor.

05/27/2014 3:43 PM

Depends on the Engineer. If it were me, then one, along with doing a few other peoples jobs and the company dishes.

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#40
In reply to #37

Re: A Little Humor.

05/27/2014 4:11 PM
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#38

Re: A Little Humor.

05/27/2014 3:55 PM

None. We outsourced the engineers last month.

Close the door when you leave. Don't bother with the lights.

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#41

Re: A Little Humor.

05/27/2014 4:36 PM

Don't forget to check with the maintenance union before doing it yourself. I was working in a Quebec shipyard in January and was clearing off snow from the deck so I could inspect the steel. A union rep caught me and filed a complaint because I was doing the job that they had people for. I also had problems with the union in U.S. shipyards also; something as simple as removing a cover plate to inspect. Waiting for a union worker to come remove the cover plate could take an hour or more.

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#42
In reply to #41

Re: A Little Humor.

05/27/2014 5:32 PM

Be thankful you didn't offer to help with the wiring while you were there. We won't be doing THAT again.

<cringe>

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#44

Re: A Little Humor.

05/27/2014 10:11 PM

Personally to avoid company bureaucracy I have been know to pop in a new bulb and just claim the old one magically came back on.

It's not like a bureaucrat is ever actually going to get up and look to see if I was lying or not.

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#46

Re: A Little Humor.

05/27/2014 11:09 PM

NONE---Engineers are always in the dark about things that brighten up a dull life. Therefore they will never notice the bulb is burnt out.

Good Luck, Old Salt

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#47

Re: A Little Humor.

05/28/2014 12:19 AM

Zero. Who's afraid of the dark?

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#51
In reply to #47

Re: A Little Humor.

05/28/2014 6:52 AM

Zero,...... it's an opportunity for the engineer to try his night vision goggles.

Zero,...... it's an opportunity for the engineer to take out his telescope and look for asteroids, meteors and new planets.

i.e., the engineer sees that its not a problem, but an opportunity.

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#48

Re: A Little Humor.

05/28/2014 12:27 AM

None. Only a psychiatrist can help the light bulb change

And even so, the light bulb has to want to change

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#49

Re: A Little Humor.

05/28/2014 1:39 AM

None.

We work in the dark.

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#50

Re: A Little Humor.

05/28/2014 2:58 AM

None

Management keep changing everything anyway without letting us know.

Del

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#53

Re: A Little Humor.

05/28/2014 7:44 AM

What we requisitioned...........

What accounting gave us............. "a rock and a stick"

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#54

Re: A Little Humor.

05/28/2014 7:58 AM

None...

Technicians change bulbs...

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#55
In reply to #54

Re: A Little Humor.

05/28/2014 8:16 AM
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#56
In reply to #55

Re: A Little Humor.

05/28/2014 8:24 AM

The union is detaining him for violating work rules...

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#57

Re: A Little Humor.

05/28/2014 8:51 AM

324 updated discussions
Home | General | General Discussion
Comment Preview:

.

None .... if you have trained cat!

(borrowed Caption This 03/14/14)

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#67
In reply to #57

Re: A Little Humor.

05/28/2014 11:41 AM

Slave labor...........I don't see a job hazardous analysis survey or hand protection PPE.......this business is going to the cats......

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#58

Re: A Little Humor.

05/28/2014 9:08 AM

Engineers don't change lightbulbs, its below their pay grade.

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#59

Re: A Little Humor.

05/28/2014 9:30 AM

First and foremost, how was it determined the bulb was defective? Can it be repaired, or must it be replaced? Was the socket, wiring, switch and circuit breaker checked before the bulb was determined to be at fault? Where is the plan to discard of the purported 'bad' bulb, and what are the ecological ramifications. Won't somebody please think of the children....

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#60

Re: A Little Humor.

05/28/2014 9:38 AM

You mean change the bulb, for an LED wifi enabled remote operated multicolour HD ready display module?
Del

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#61

Re: A Little Humor.

05/28/2014 9:40 AM

Accountant: Did you try turning it on and off?, it works for my computer.

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#62

Re: A Little Humor.

05/28/2014 9:51 AM

Two!

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#68

Re: A Little Humor.

05/28/2014 1:41 PM

One

When his wife tells him to do it!

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#70

Re: A Little Humor

05/28/2014 5:01 PM

We will also need a cause of failure and corrective action.

Has the old bulb been sent to the Material Review Board?

This needs to happen before an engineer can design a process for replacement.

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#71

Re: A Little Humor

05/28/2014 6:32 PM

6 muntz ago I cund't even sat 6 muntz ago. now i is an enguner. Wats a litebulb?

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#72

Re: A Little Humor

05/28/2014 6:35 PM

I have to make a confession. I didn't know if this thread would go over, so I posted as anonymous #1, but apparently it has.

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#73
In reply to #72

Re: A Little Humor

05/28/2014 7:44 PM

No, I posted it...........

;)

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#74
In reply to #73

Re: A Little Humor

05/28/2014 8:18 PM

No! I am Spartacus!

Whew! Ronseto , you had me worried: I thought it was posted by an accountant, trolling for ammunition!

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#75

Re: A Little Humor

05/29/2014 5:13 AM

32 so far

www.lightbulbjokes.com

"How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?"

A: "Banana"

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#76

Re: A Little Humor

05/30/2014 4:24 AM

Easy. Phone the local vashikaran specialist on +91 991...

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#77
In reply to #76

Re: A Little Humor

05/30/2014 8:48 AM

Morning, PWSlack:

For those of us on the West Side of the Big(gest) Ditch, (or maybe just me, since I'm a little slow this morning) can you explain the significance (to you) of "Vashikaran Specialist" and what I presume is like our 900 numbers here? I don't understand the 91 991 reference in it's entirety.

And for those of you who'd say Google It, or whatever, I KNOW I can look it up. But I want the local flavoring of it, not the dry didactics of Google and the Wiki's (sounds like a garage band, anyway).

Thanks

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#78
In reply to #77

Re: A Little Humor

05/30/2014 5:20 PM

It relates to an Indian "Love astrologer" (A$$hole) who keeps spamming our glorious CR4 with ~6 posts at a time.

I personally would like to stake him/her out on an anthill.

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#79
In reply to #78

Re: A Little Humor

05/30/2014 9:14 PM

Thank you. I don't believe I've ever seen his posts. Thankful for that also, as one of us would have to take a number and stand in line (queue for you Brits), awaiting our turn at "entreating with him" (A euphemism for what we'd LIKE to do to people of that ilk, you know.)

And thanks for the warning. I'll do my best to stay clear of him in the future.

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#81
In reply to #78

Re: A Little Humor

06/02/2014 4:58 AM

This kind of begs the question:- "How many astrologers/marriage councilors does it take to change a light bulb?"

A:- "Phone Baba Ji on +91 991...."

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#80

Re: A Little Humor

05/31/2014 8:25 PM

Don't know much about bulbs, never seen the light.

But laughter makes life worthwhile. People who smile live longer.

(so I should be good for another 100 years?.... )

If they offend the mediator (again) I have to fall back on Marx - saying,
"I have been thrown out of far better joints than this!" Hope these raise a smile.

jt.

News just in from the Vatican.
The South American Papal candidate Cardinal Sicola has been removed from the selection process.
It was because Pope Sicola sounded a tad too commercial.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

If I won the lottery I'd buy a racehorse and call it My Face.
Then when it runs at Ascot on Ladies day, all the women will shout 'Come on my face'!
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

My memory really sucks says Mildred So I changed my password to INCORRECT

That way, when I log in with the wrong password The computer will tell me...Your password is incorrect!
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A fried chicken magnate visits the Pope and tells him that he'll make a donation of two hundred and fifty million pounds
if the Pope changes the Lord's Prayer from `Give us this day our daily bread' to `Give us this day our daily chicken'.
The Pope refuses so the magnate raises the offer to three hundred million.
The Pope still refuses, so the offer is raised to four hundred million at which the Pope caves in and accepts.

The Pope calls his cardinals together to tell them what's happened. `I've got some good news and some bad news,'
he says. `The good news is that we've just made four hundred million pounds. The bad news is we just lost the Hovis account.'
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A woman, playing golf, had started her round of golf when she was stung by a bee.
On returning to the clubhouse, her golf teacher asked why she had come back soon after teeing off.
She told him that she had been stung by a bee.

He asked her, Where did it sting you? She answered, Between the first and second hole.
Shaking his head, he said, Your feet are too far apart.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A teenager threw some cheese at my windows and ran off. I shouted after him. That wasn't very mature!
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A farmer in Switzerland was once seen chasing William Tell across a field yelling....
I'll kill you, Tell.. - you've been having sex with my daughter!

Tell stopped and shouted back,.. and your old lay-ee- dee!

See, you're living 5 minutes longer already! :-)

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#82

Re: A Little Humor

05/16/2015 1:52 AM

You can not stand on a step-ladder, even 1 step. OSHA requires correct scaffolding with toe boards, and a lanyard with safety harness if any part of your body is over 6' (1.83m) above the floor. Think what that means for someone who is 6'1" (1.86m) standing on the floor. Lanyard and safety harness shall be inspected within 1 year of date of intended use. Scaffold shall be approved by safety officer in advance of its use.

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