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Caption This!

Caption This! is a place for engineers to test their wit. Each week the CR4 team will post an interesting or amusing engineering picture. We're looking for your best captions in the comments below.
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Caption This for 04/10/15

Posted April 09, 2015 4:45 PM by Kaplin

This week's image:

Be sure to vote for your favorite caption!
Thanks to Nigh for submitting this image.

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#1

Re: Caption This for 04/10/15

04/09/2015 4:54 PM

Something to do with Jeremy Clarkson...still working on it...

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#2

Re: Caption This for 04/10/15

04/09/2015 6:51 PM

Frank's first day as a traffic cop did not go well.

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#3

Re: Caption This for 04/10/15

04/09/2015 7:04 PM

Google's self driving car meets real traffic

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#4

Re: Caption This for 04/10/15

04/09/2015 7:16 PM

Damn North Koreans hacked into all the onboard computers in all the cars..

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#5

Re: Caption This for 04/10/15

04/09/2015 8:19 PM

Guess I'd better leave now before rush hour starts...

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#6

Re: Caption This for 04/10/15

04/09/2015 8:41 PM

Free beer

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#7

Re: Caption This for 04/10/15

04/09/2015 10:20 PM

Time to line up for the Apple Watch.

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#8

Re: Caption This for 04/10/15

04/09/2015 10:50 PM

"OK, Barry has crossed the street; move the bus and stuff."

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#9

Re: Caption This for 04/10/15

04/09/2015 11:05 PM

A black traffic circle is a region of the street/time continuum that curves so much that even light traffic cannot escape it.

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#10
In reply to #9

Re: Caption This for 04/10/15

04/09/2015 11:08 PM

Note that on the upper right a few travicles are emitted in the form of Honking Radiation.

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#11

Re: Caption This for 04/10/15

04/10/2015 1:05 AM

Oh now I see how much better traffic circles are.

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#59
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Re: Caption This for 04/10/15

04/16/2015 3:38 AM

Traffic circles. That reminds me. In Hollywood Florida, they have had traffic circles from at least the 50s. BUT, one of the larger, busier ones has traffic lights on it also. In sequence, the circle stops for North, West, South, then East traffic entering the circle. Is this done in Europe also? I am now going to have to check the other Hollywood Circles to see if they also have lights.

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#61
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Re: Caption This for 04/10/15

04/16/2015 5:00 AM

Yes: many roundabouts in the UK also have traffic lights, this is directly outside where I work at Sunbury Cross; underneath the end of the M3:-

There are lights at every "sub" junction you can see traffic waiting at most of them.

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#62
In reply to #59

Re: Caption This for 04/10/15

04/16/2015 7:15 AM

Actually, the story behind Speedo's is that they started with children's swim wear with one size fits all. And that was it, they haven't changed.

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#12

Re: Caption This for 04/10/15

04/10/2015 1:40 AM

BEEP BEEP BEEP

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#13

Re: Caption This for 04/10/15

04/10/2015 2:22 AM

OK, folks. Move along now. Nothing to see here.

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#14

Re: Caption This for 04/10/15

04/10/2015 3:24 AM

1st Caption:

"Hey cop, Pl. make the way for my ambulance, no delay for the patient."

2nd Caption, (to the Hospital Doctor over phone)

"Hey Doctor, I am near the hospital, get the stretcher at the entrance for the patient."

DHAYANANDHAN.S

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#15

Re: Caption This for 04/10/15

04/10/2015 4:06 AM

Yeh I know Sarg, I could have fixed it by moving two cars, but me and Al were down on out quota for issuing traffic violation tickets and this is a box junction.

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#16

Re: Caption This for 04/10/15

04/10/2015 4:13 AM

The city traffic manager quickly sketched a simple solution to the problem:-

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#17
In reply to #16

Re: Caption This for 04/10/15

04/10/2015 4:34 AM

This looks like the Spaghetti Junction in Birmingham, with perhaps a few improvements!

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#18

Re: Caption This for 04/10/15

04/10/2015 5:29 AM

I bet in the middle of that mess is a stalled Cavalier that will not start.

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#19

Re: Caption This for 04/10/15

04/10/2015 6:17 AM

Lyn industries prototype for individual traffic light control was a complete success.

Well sort of, they a least sold a lot of the devices.

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#20

Re: Caption This for 04/10/15

04/10/2015 6:47 AM

FINALLY!!!! proof Nascar drivers only know how to turn in one direction....

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Re: Caption This for 04/10/15

04/10/2015 11:17 AM

I've wondered if some NASCAR drivers need a GPS.

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#21

Re: Caption This for 04/10/15

04/10/2015 7:38 AM

Ralph Kramden got fed up with his job, parked the bus, and quit...

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#22

Re: Caption This for 04/10/15

04/10/2015 7:49 AM

President Obama after christened the new Traffic circle, designed and built by CGI Federal, is pleased to announce that he will personally award a new $500 billon dollar contract for rebuilding our nations infrastructure to CGI Federal.

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#23
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Re: Caption This for 04/10/15

04/10/2015 8:32 AM

Political cronyism at it's finest with that schmuck....

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#24

Re: Caption This for 04/10/15

04/10/2015 9:03 AM

A living, breathing "Traffic Hub"!

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#25

Re: Caption This for 04/10/15

04/10/2015 9:44 AM

What's your point?

This is a typical afternoon at the intersection of Boulder Highway and Nellis here in Las Vegas.

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#26

Re: Caption This for 04/10/15

04/10/2015 10:00 AM

News reporter: "Sadly, if this were in Mexico it would be a Mexican Stand-off, however, here in Milan, this is an Italian Stand-off."

"In other news, the last traffic engineering school in Italy was closed by Parliament last week."

...."and as you have been promised, tonight's headliner: "Giant Santa Claus appears at local department store. King Kong disguised as a Santa Claus has climbed to the roof of the white multi-story jewelry store shown in the photo. Traffic continues around this as normal..."

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Re: Caption This for 04/10/15

04/16/2015 7:39 PM

If it was Italy, wouldn't you see people standing up in open sunroofs rotating the right arm with upraised forearm caught by the left hand to stop the right hand in a friendly gesture, with a Fiamm chorus?

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#66
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Re: Caption This for 04/10/15

04/17/2015 5:04 AM

Purely for the sake of completeness: the picture was actually taken from the Red Hat offices in Vila Olímpia São Paulo 04538-132

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#27

Re: Caption This for 04/10/15

04/10/2015 10:29 AM

Ma'am, you can start texting now

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#28

Re: Caption This for 04/10/15

04/10/2015 10:34 AM

the white line is for loading and unloading only. NO PARKING!

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#51
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Re: Caption This for 04/10/15

04/13/2015 11:58 AM

Listen, Betty, don't start up with your white zone $*#! again.

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#29

Re: Caption This for 04/10/15

04/10/2015 11:04 AM

Coming soon from Microsoft: Windows 10 for Traffic Lights, fixes 20K bugs from Windows 8 for Traffic Lights, is 10% less likely to crash, and 30% less likely to lock up!

(Yes, they skipped right over Windows 9 for Traffic Lights, make up your own jokes for that.)

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#30

Re: Caption This for 04/10/15

04/10/2015 11:12 AM

The cue line for the petrol station offering gas at 3 cents/litre less.

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#31

Re: Caption This for 04/10/15

04/10/2015 11:13 AM

Canadian* intersection...

"After you"

"no, by all means after you"

"oh, I couldn't possibly"

"be my guest"

.........

*Canadians are known to be very polite

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#44
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Re: Caption This for 04/10/15

04/10/2015 11:31 PM

I don't think so. Based on the Florida snowbird Canadians we see, they would all be in the left most lane, going too slow, and wearing Speedos that are way too small.

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#45
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Re: Caption This for 04/10/15

04/11/2015 8:11 AM

They make speedo's that are too big?

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Re: Caption This for 04/10/15

04/15/2015 3:08 PM

Where the term "fallout" originated.

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Re: Caption This for 04/10/15

04/16/2015 3:39 AM

NO, only too small.

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#33

Re: Caption This for 04/10/15

04/10/2015 12:04 PM

someones gotta say it...........Women drivers!

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#34
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Re: Caption This for 04/10/15

04/10/2015 1:06 PM

Can't be, no-one's stuck on a roof yet.

http://cr4.globalspec.com/blogentry/25803#comment1081832

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#35

Re: Caption This for 04/10/15

04/10/2015 3:45 PM

Uptown gunna Funk you up

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#36

Re: Caption This for 04/10/15

04/10/2015 4:04 PM

U.S. Congress lets out of session.

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Re: Caption This for 04/10/15

04/10/2015 4:30 PM

Alice, why did you stop to sneeze?

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#38

Re: Caption This for 04/10/15

04/10/2015 5:57 PM

Edsal Murphey knew he should have stayed in bed this morning.

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#39

Re: Caption This for 04/10/15

04/10/2015 6:20 PM

An ongoing "Engineering Convention" !

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#40

Re: Caption This for 04/10/15

04/10/2015 7:09 PM

Maybe it's time to implement

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Re: Caption This for 04/10/15

04/10/2015 9:38 PM

No matter how many times his mother had told him, Thomas could never believe that Wal Mart was open all night.

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#42

Re: Caption This for 04/10/15

04/10/2015 9:53 PM

Traffic engineering software designed by Microsoft and Bill gates, the smartest man in the world.

It hardly ever crashes, but when it does...............................................

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Re: Caption This for 04/10/15

04/10/2015 10:52 PM

And when it does, MicroSoft labels it a standard operations

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#46

Re: Caption This for 04/10/15

04/11/2015 9:42 AM

This was the day before they decided they needed a traffic light at the intersection.

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#47

Re: Caption This for 04/10/15

04/11/2015 11:17 AM

The bus pushes three cars out of the way...and then the dam breaks!

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#48

Re: Caption This for 04/10/15

04/12/2015 4:58 PM

Jam today, jam tomorrow.

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Re: Caption This for 04/10/15

04/12/2015 5:40 PM
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Re: Caption This for 04/10/15

04/13/2015 9:45 AM

Interesting that you Canadian blokes have to pay dues. It is free in Texas!

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#52

Re: Caption This for 04/10/15

04/13/2015 3:10 PM

In Hindsight, Nigel came to realize the traffic square was not the best idea he'd ever had.

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#53

Re: Caption This for 04/10/15

04/14/2015 6:49 AM

Right... on the count on 3 we all stomp an the accelerator ... ok?

One...

Two....

Del

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#54

Re: Caption This for 04/10/15

04/14/2015 6:58 AM

North Dakota's Invitational was an attempt at becoming part of the NASCAR racing circuit was not a success.

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#55

Re: Caption This for 04/10/15

04/15/2015 12:01 PM

The result of an attempt by an old lady to smuggle her little dog named "Ballsitch" onto the bus under her coat. As the dog struggled, the lady exclaimed "Ballsitch!", to which the buss driver, who was reaching into his pocket , replied "No lady, just getting your change".

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Re: Caption This for 04/10/15

04/15/2015 12:36 PM

A true "shaggy dog" joke.....

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#57
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Re: Caption This for 04/10/15

04/15/2015 1:02 PM

"Buss" driver corrected to Bus driver. Where busses in parallel, are better measured with an AC meghohm meter, due to capacitance or something like that......

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#63
In reply to #57

Re: Caption This for 04/10/15

04/16/2015 11:57 AM

You mean parallel parking for busses?

Who knows, maybe someday, there will be busses with people traveling "on them" through conduits. It sounds a bit jetsonish, and it probably complete rubbish.

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#64

Re: Caption This for 04/10/15

04/16/2015 12:26 PM

"Hello felow engineers, I need to make traffic light program urgently. Can anybody help?"

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#67

Re: Caption This for 04/10/15

05/09/2015 6:09 PM

''Might I just have a brief word with the Royal Traffic Engineer...?''

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