Welcome to Nanny World

On a bag of peanuts: "Warning - this product contains nuts."

On a box of bicycle parts "Warning, this device must be assembled before riding".

I retrieved this one from its (permanent of course) place on my fridge:

IMPORTANT SAFETY INSTRUCTIONS

When using your telephone equipment, basic safety precautions should always be followed to reduce the risk of fire, electric shock and injury to persons, including the following:

Do not use this product near water, for example, near a bath tub, wash bowl, kitchen sink or laundry tub, in a wet basement or near a swimming pool.

SAVE THESE INSTRUCTIONS

"Do not eat" on the desiccant packages.

A sign erected in a field read:

"WARNING: This sign has sharp edges"

"Caution.. This Superman cape does NOT enable the user to fly".

.. I demand a refund
Del

My very favorite -- you beat me to it! It was on a Toys R Us costume box: "Cape does not enable child to fly"!

I often see tanker trucks with labels saying "ELEVATED TEMPERATURE LIQUID", I sometimes wonder if this is similar to the old fashioned "HOT LIQUID" they used to carry.

Road signs get me.

"No DUI County Wide" I suppose the inference is that it might be ok to drive drunk elsewhere?

"Pass with care" Again, is there a time that it would be ok to pass recklessly?

And what about those signs that indicate you should swerve back and forth as you cross a bridge?

"Stop for pedestrians in cross walk" Is there somewhere where you don't? I'm thinking that's where I want to go. Sounds like great sport.

I could go on and on but who has that kind of time...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6W49wkpKzgU

What about the stupid politicians, loony liberals and shyster lawyers that make these warnings be posted.

If someone doesn't realize pouring hot coffee from McDonalds in your lap while driving would be 1) painful and 2) highly distracting should be removed from life immediately - to stupid to live! Yet a lawyer will have the stupid suing McDonalds?

That famous case about the hot coffee in the driver's lap only blew up when McDonald's tried to stonewall and not apologize at all for serving coffee at far above the usual temperature. As usual, details like that get left out of the story, and many similar ones that are merrily repeated in the media, presented mainly as entertaining ridicule, but also to generate sympathy for gutting all consumer protection laws.

The woman originally asked only for her medical expenses. She had 2nd degree burns on her genital area from coffee that was abut 10 deg F hotter than other restaurants serve it.

She was not after money, she wanted McDonalds to admit fault and serve coffee at a more usual temperature.

I am just a bit curious how you manage to get water for coffee 10 (or is it 15) degrees above 'normal'.

As I noted previously, If a guest of mine is dumb enough to pour their coffee in their lap I see no reason to apologize. I am damn well not going to pay their medical expenses.

The coffee is, of course, brewed with boiling or near-boiling water, but it is held on a hot plate until it's purchased. Most places use, I believe, a 160-165 def F thermostat (I don't drink coffee, so I'm sure). It would be fairly easy to raise this to 175-180 deg F.

The original $10 million award, BTW, was reduced to a much more reasonable level on appeal.

I do drink coffee and keeping it warm on a hotplate, just causes it to be blacker and more bitter.

Its fractionally better when held in a pre warmed thermos flask.

Only fresh coffee tastes just as it should, so those machines that make a single or dual cup at a time are a good investment. Its only when you need 10 cups at the same time are they a liability!!!

That sounds just great. You think an attorney had anything everything to do with. Just maybe, she should not have been driving and trying to drink coffee.

She was not driving, her nephew was driving, she was in the front passenger seat, I do believe the car was not even moving either....see here:-

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Liebeck_v._McDonald's_Restaurants

On February 27, 1992, Stella Liebeck, a 79-year-old woman from Albuquerque, New Mexico, ordered a 49 cent cup of coffee from the drive-through window of a local McDonald's restaurant. Liebeck was in the passenger's seat of her Ford Probe, and her nephew Chris parked the car so that Liebeck could add cream and sugar to her coffee. Stella placed the coffee cup between her knees and pulled the far side of the lid toward her to remove it. In the process, she spilled the entire cup of coffee on her lap.

IMO, McDonald's "stonewalled" because they knew they had done nothing wrong.

Freshly brewed coffee (195 degrees F) is by definition around 40 degrees hotter than "usual serving temperature," around 145-160 F.

Thus, serving fresh coffee magically became a litigable offense.

Thus, serving fresh coffee magically became a litigable offense.

Indeed, but that's the problem with marketing wonks and lawyers.
If someone had the wit to be sympathetic, and actually listen and consider whether this was a potential problem which could be minimised then they'd probably have got loads of good publicity and the case would never have gone to court.

Mind, it's not as simple as you make out, if you are selling coffee in a 'drive through' then surely one has to consider the implications of a scalding hot beverage in a car ?

Classic case of someone paid to look after the company's interests screwing up big time.
Del

or If you are buying coffee in a 'drive through' then surely one has to consider the implacations of placing it between your legs to hold it as you drive off. After all if the coffee had been cold the customer would have complained about that too.

Just a note, I owned two issues of The True Stella Awards Books, with preface by the author of the book, and the founder of the web site "The True Stellas". In the preface to the book, and on his website, he debunks these stupid and moronic Urban Legends in particular. While his stated intent is to cause us to look closely at stupidly litigious people, bringing stupid litigation, the world over, but particularly in the U.S., he makes the valid point that it is unnecessary to keep trotting out ridiculously overblown cases when the real thing works fine for showing how stupid we humans can be, and how little we are willing to take responsibility for our actions.

Since I hear you howling "give us a link", and I would be doing so also, I'll do one better. Go to the Urban Legends site at Snopes.com, and type "Stella Awards" (minus the quotes) in the search box. You'll find two of these written up there, very nicely.

The go to http://www.stellaawards.com/2003.html to read what the author I mentioned in the beginning of this post has himself posted. It is an education all of us around the world can use.

Should you choose to create an account at http://www.stellaawards.com, please give CR4 credit for your arrival there. We all would like to see credible writers read by intelligent readers. Connecting each other to good sources of truth is a great first step.

And Snopes.com and www.stellawards.com are two sites that will help us all to become more credible in what we write.

It can ONLY happen in the USA........

See #64, and don't (please?) be too quick to believe the worst of us.

70% of the world's lawyers live and work in the USA........now is that a balance???? I think not.....

The effect is that we will even believe urban legends at face value......

I have heard that there are moves afoot in the justice system of the US to cut down on stupid court cases and awards.......lets hope that it happens and soon.....

two things may and could happen with the number of attorneys.

1.) do what the school of pharmacies do is limit the number of pharmacy students to ensure the need and value of pharmacists.

2.) since attorneys work consists mostly of procedure work. Replace attorneys with software.

I perfer number 2. Cuz number 2 is fitting for that profession. ;)

Have a heart.

i would like to believe John Grisham. What about those wonderful street lawyers, who do the pro-bono work ? Come to think of it, what pro-bono work have i done as an engineer? i am sure there are thousands of those wonderful people out there, who are not after El Dollarado always.

God bless the good side of the legal profession

^{Having said that..... Elmer was passing by the cemetary one day, when he chanced upon a grave with an epitaph which said "Here lies a Lawyer, and an honest man!".... "Gosh!" said Elmer, "they must be outta land, burying two people in one grave!!!"}

Press

GA.. Brilliant!

It missed the woman who put her WET dog in the microwave oven to dry it after she'd been walking the dog in the rain and wanted to dry it out.

She came back to find her dog cooked from the inside out.... lots of money, lots of very angry animal protection societies all getting bent out of shape... and like the RV instruction manual, the makers of the microwave oven, re-wrote the "how to use" the oven book, including photos of LIVE animals within the covers to illustrate in picture what NOT to put in the machine.

Is it a nanny state? Kinda!! If people were not so dumb ar$e stupid... there would be no need.

But if they weren't, then a lot of sign makers would be out of work!!

....and very successfully, didn't she get $10 million?

As long as the US courts make such dumb awards, companies are going to "Cover their Arses!"

Basically, you Guys are stuck with it, so lighten up and enjoy!!!

From my sources in mickey d's regional management, She ended up with $5000 and the lawyers got the rest.

Even that was a good payday!!!

But I did find this on wiki at:-

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Liebeck_v._McDonald's_Restaurants

Which is still far more than you mentioned:-

Liebeck v. McDonald's Restaurants,^[1] also known as the McDonald's coffee case and the hot coffee lawsuit, is a 1994 product liability lawsuit that became a flashpoint in the debate in the U.S. over tort reform after a jury awarded $2.86 million to a woman who burned herself with hot coffee she purchased from fast food restaurant McDonald's. The trial judge reduced the total award to $640,000, and the parties settled for a confidential amount before an appeal was decided. The case was noted by some as an example of frivolous litigation;^[2] ABC News called the case "the poster child of excessive lawsuits,"^[3] while others stated that the claim was "a meaningful and worthy lawsuit."^[4]

1. "Use only genuine Sherwin-Williams paint thinner."

2. "Keep this photo print quality paper in the protective sleeve before and after printing."

I've seen other similar collections, and they are huge. The dumb ones, written by "cover our ass" lawyers reduce the effectiveness of the necessary warnings.

I think the reversing warning chirpers on trucks may be useful, but they drive people nuts when a small excavator is working on a quiet street all night to find a leak. There should be a switch for the operator to use at his discretion, at least in obvious situations like that.

Road sign: "Stop". Er, for how long?

I thought that meant 'state trooper out pissing'?

There's no accounting for local interpretations.

As has been suggested, the signs are not to improve safety but to mitigate the risk to the companies insurers. I used to work for a firm making commercial lighting & only for the American market we had to fit a label warning users not to put their fingers into th light socket.

I agree - most of this stuff is adopted defensively at the insistence of the business liability insurers. Yes these warnings are often absurd, but then again so are many of us. If people weren't so feeble minded it would be much harder for clever lawyers to sway juries into providing huge settlements for trivial problems. If more sensible folks would look at jury service as a way to fix our problems rather than a hassle to be avoided at all costs the picture would be different. I think once again Pogo was right - 'We have met the enemy and he is us.' We live in a litigious society because we tolerate it. Most other countries don't have this problem.[p]

BTW - I occasionally stop at McD's for a quick breakfast but I stopped ordering coffee years ago. Their coffee is hotter than all but the most poorly managed mini-marts.

On most suppositories it instructs to remove the foil wrapper before inserting.

My wife , the pharmacist tech, can tell many stories where the instruction was not followed.

Ouch!

" Doctor, those suppositories you gave me were no good at all...
For all the good they did I might as well have shoved 'em up my ar$e!"
Del
(The old ones are the best)

I know of two young men who, back in 1979 or 1980 were given suppositories for hemorrhoid problems only to come back the next day and complain about how bad they tasted. Seems like some stupid warning would have saved them some embarrassment.

How about

"Your Results May Vary" Duh!

and the obiquetous

"Do Not Attempt This at Home" Double Duh!

"It is impossible to underestimate the human capacity for stupid behavior." Author Unknown (but completely correct).

On a roll bar inside a 4 wheel drive vehicle-

"Caution: This device is not intended to protect occupant from injury in the event of a roll over".

On a microwave food product:

"WARNING: After heating, contents will be HOT!"

Our printer at work is flashing a warning that an off brand printer cart has been installed. Printer works fine BTW.

-A-

Cautionary note for sleeping pills:

"May cause drowsiness"

--

On the McD coffee, I read that they had been serving coffee much hotter than that recommended by coffee industry, so that it would remain hot by the time customers got to their destinations. Many people had been burned by incidents such as bottom of bag giving out and cup hit the floor, splattering and many other cases of bad burns. The notorious "coffee held between the legs" incident was just the icing on the cake, and the burns she received would have been very minor had the coffee not been the 15(?) degrees extra. McD has since reduced the temp and just as their commercial stated, "Finally a good cup of coffee at McDonalds".

You don't use boiling water to make your coffee?

How did McD manage to make it hotter?

Old style percolators used boiling water to brew coffee....drip coffeemakers don't. That's why drip coffeemakers seldom use brew temperatures near 212 deg F.

When I worked for McD's the drip coffeemakers used 200 deg F water to brew with. The hot plate probably kept it at 150 deg F. But even 10 degree cooler (140 deg F) water will scald anyone if in contact for more than 5 seconds, so the argument is specious. It's a legal strategy to make a jury feel sorry for a single person up against a rich corporation with deep pockets. And all other arguments aside, anyone who is handling a coffee cup (rather than a travel mug designed for the purpose) and any cup in a risky manner while driving is asking for a spill, and a resulting burn. McD's was just a convenient target to blame for risky behavior that went bad.

Did you know that for some time German carmakers didn't get the American obsession with cupholders because German drivers on the autobahn simply don't drink 32 ounce cups of coffee, eat sandwiches, put on make-up, read memos, etc while driving? That's why early 90's German cupholder designs were somewhat flimsy...they weren't expected to be used very often. I guess they believe driving safely is more important than having breakfast on the morning commute to work.

[having breakfast on the morning commute to work.] That's known as multi-tasking. Some can do it, some can't.

Probably 50% of those that can read the warning can't understand it.

They all are terrible.

The real problem here is the over use that has lead to totally ignoring the label if it is an obvious warning label. How many of you read these anymore? I know I don't. I automatically expect it is going to be something totally inane and for that matter, somewhat insane too.

"Objects in this mirror are closer than they appear".

On the package for an Iron:

"DO NOT IRON CLOTHES WHILE WEARING!"

REALLY?????

One of the first lessons a new design engineer learns after college is that nothing is fool-proof.....because fools are so ingenious.

"Every year, we make it more foolproof, and every year, they come up with a better fool."

Enjoy!

http://www.dumbwarnings.com/

I don't bother reading the warnings.................I just go for it.

How about the warning label on mattresses telling you not to remove; I haven't got a visit from the mattress police yet...Or how about the sign on storefront doors that say "no animals permitted except seeing eye dogs".

closely related.. www.engrish.com

me not understanding

(living in japan , i notice these things daily, like a hair shop called "perverse"???)

on another note a anti headache pills with the warning can cause headaches?

after all the creative people suing, the list of strange warnings will only get longer

Should print that on Tee Shirts

LOL !! Brilliant and apt!!

Printed on carton of US army blasting caps;

"Warning - Blasting Caps - Do Not Carry Loose In Your Pocket"

I found this warning on the last page of the instructions AFTER installing an over the air digital antenna. Thanks to Obama and our current nanny state. WE were doing just fine with the analog signal. Now the new signal need alot of help to get through the trees. walls, etc........ But I digress....

Unfortunately I read the instructions and warning too late...

WARNING Do not attempt to install if drunk, pregnant or both. Do not throw antenna at spouse.

This just happened then. We were talking about Duck Tape on another thread and I sent this image.

Now how and why would one want to replace the blade. Has anyone or does anyone know of someone who has replaced it? I mean, who would have that printed there? Has your tape measure the same warning?

Now that you all know that I am bored I might start a thread on it.

Title:

"How I Increased The Sales Of Tape Measures By Making People Go All The Way"

Do not try this at home!

Have a couple on me, Ky.

It used to be more common to replace the blade

back when the case was metal

when I was doing fabrication more often, I would use cheap blades in my favorite case

the 1st 100 cm's would get wasted

Has yours got the warning?

Possible answers that spring to mind are from your question of:-

Has yours got the warning?:-

Are:-

1) No, mine is simply shorter, no room for such printing!

2) Don't ask such personal questions online, I'm shy!

3) I always measure in Centimeters, its sound SO much LONGER!

4) What else did you get for Christmas?

5) No, we measure ours from the other end of the table!! (end of very old and long joke!)

6) No way Big Boy!

7) Yes, it just say that they are bad for my health and may cause Cancer!

8) Showoff !!!

Strange, maybe they meant "Weinen" which is crying/tears (Which many mobiles will do to you!!)......

Makes more sense now I hope.

people like this should be band from public office because of their stupidity.........but who will want them.......uuhhmmm.

maybe theres a political life after football for this character. http://deadspin.com/5658206/brett-favres-cellphone-seduction-of-jenn-sterger

Who cares?

not his constituents

it should be between the Congressman, his wife & the girlfriend

he shouldn't be banned

recalled, sure

lose the next election, possibly

Banning would just be another manifestation of the nanny state

more than half of his constituents......does that make a consensus? Frankly, I hold about as much high regard for most politicians as I do attorneys, which isn't much. My point that I was making, it he's a fool for doing that I can only speak for myself, I don't follow fools for leaders.

yes, more than 1/2 is a consensus in the political world

I agree that I wouldn't vote for him

Yes it does. Many thanks.

It hasn't hit the news here at all......

What an unfortunate name - In US English I believe it could mean "Little Sausage"!, his wife will know one way or the other I expect.....

not in bold red letters

Replacing the tape is a common practice if you own one of the more expensive models. If you pull it out a little farther you will see where the spring attaches to the tape. They sell replacements at most hardware stores.